Writing an Essay on a Trigger Topic

[Smitty237]

Hello all,

So I am currently finishing my second degree yay. Anyways, I am generally pretty good at coping and dealing with my disorder and can talk about most things etc. This novel I had to read for Women's studies because of course it is for a mandatory class stems around sexual assault. I read it, it was sad but made it through. Did my research that was alright, got my peer reviewed articles all was grand.

I now have to write this bloody essay which is on sexual assault and staying silent. I'm on the third sentence of the intro and my writing so far is pardon me shit and I am bloody anxious everytime I write a line. I mean I could always ask for another assignment but I don't wanna get into the habit of avoidance. Suggestions?

 

[Ronin]

Could you substitute something else in your head?

Ice cream tastes and staying silent.
Flavor of sushi and staying silent.
Spots on a shirt and staying silent.
Untied shoelaces and staying silent.

Telling yourself you are writing on something else, for as long as it takes to become just a topic, and not personal?

Or focusing on other aspects of a thing than what was your trauma. (I can cheerfully write about traveling, even about my trauma locations... as long as it is just travel, and for the purpose of a review. Turn the question into living in the areas? Or the prices of the apartments? Or the character of the neighborhood? I check out, fast. Ask me again about the prices, because we are on travel itineraries and curiosity and exploring places? Just awesome, doing it no problem, brain back online.)

 

[Smitty237]

That is a wonderful idea I shall give it a go when I return to the essay. I decided to take a break due to anxiety and other symptoms. It's been a struggle all day, sit in the discomfort gets too high back off go back in. The endless cycle hopefully thinking of it in a different way will help :)

 

[Ronin]

:tup: May it go well.

(I also try to remind myself difficulties may be just normal student / work worries. As in people without this set of issues and life experiences got them too, even if a bit different flavor... and that I am stuck hard, also means I am working hard, not a failure at it.)

 

[Friday]

Suggestions?

On something very similar...I once turned in 15 blank pages (minus the heading, with my name/section/prof/etc., title, page numbers, and my bibliography/footnotes/etc., which was all typed up since we got points for correct APA notation, and credible sources).

I knew I was flipping a coin on an A or an F, but it was worth it.

 

[AliciaEff]

I’m not in the exact same situation as you, but my thesis topic was definitely inspired by my trauma. I’m writing about the effect manipulation can have on legitimate consent in clinical research. I use an example of an abusive relationship where one might be worn down to believe that they must obey, so later on in the relationship the abuser no longer needs to use for e or a threat of force to convince the abused to have sex, they just need to ask, but I’m trying to say the compliance is not consent because the abuse allowed for the abused to be manipulated into saying yes rather than being forced or threatened.

For me I actually find it cathartic because the way I write my thesis, I am legitimizing this case and if I pass my defense, I have a committee of people who agree that I did not legitimately consent to some sexual acts with my ex even though legally speaking I did.

I know the fact that it’s a trigger can be harder, but is there a way to just focus on the positive? Like “it hurts to write this, but when people read it, they will be helping me heal” or something like that?

 

[scout86]

I'm REALLY good at not talking about stuff. Confronted with that assignment, I could probably do a good job of giving reasons for staying silent, and what that's like to live, while avoiding the discussion of assault completely. Most of the time, I can find some aspect of a topic that I AM willing to discuss, focus that, and hope no one notices what I didn't discuss. (It works more often than not.)

But, I really like @Friday's idea!

 

[Friday]

Most of the time, I can find some aspect of a topic that I AM willing to discuss, focus that, and hope no one notices what I didn't discuss. (It works more often than not.)

Strongly agreed. And it’s a damn useful skill to cultivate.