General Advice: My boyfriend just started therapy...

[Jay02]

Hi, all. I recently found out that my boyfriend just started therapy after almost 10 years of suppressed memories (he had gone overseas twice, back to back).

For supporters, how do you help (if possible)? What are ways that you do to support those who are suffering? I don’t live with my boyfriend, so our communication goes as far as texting/calling whenever he is feeling up to it.

For sufferers, I know that space is very, very important in times like this. It’s my boyfriend’s first time having therapy sessions after so long and I’m just wondering, what can I expect?

I know it’s going to be tough, but I want to educate myself as much as possible and if any of you have links or books that you can direct me towards, that’d be great! Thank you.

 

[EveHarrington]

I’m just wondering, what can I expect?

Therapy usually makes things worse before they get better.

He may need to sleep for a few days after sessions. Therapy can be exhausting!

Space is very important, if that’s what he needs.

 

[Jay02]

Therapy usually makes things worse before they get better.

He may need to sleep for a few days after sessions. Therapy can be exhausting!

Space is very important, if that’s what he needs.

Thanks for the input! I appreciate it.

 

[Never_falter2]

Typically my vet wants just to go on with everyday life after therapy, however there are exceptions from this rule

I think, that
1. It depends, therapies can be very different
2. You have to ask him, different people need different things
3. Sometimes therapy can be stressful, because they make people do things they hate... and sometimes this is not over after therapy... for example a various times he had to touch things that he believed were contaminated and full of germs (contamination, dirt and germs are some of his triggers)... when he came home he was still “dirty and contaminated“ and felt he was being a danger for us because he might contaminate us... and he needed to cope with this feeling because it was very real for him and then I was there to discuss it with him.

 

[Jay02]

Typically my vet wants just to go on with everyday life after therapy, however there are exceptions from this rule

I think, that
1. It depends, therapies can be very different
2. You have to ask him, different people need different things
3. Sometimes therapy can be stressful, because they make people do things they hate... and sometimes this is not over after therapy... for example a various times he had to touch things that he believed were contaminated and full of germs (contamination, dirt and germs are some of his triggers)... when he came home he was still “dirty and contaminated“ and felt he was being a danger for us because he might contaminate us... and he needed to cope with this feeling because it was very real for him and then I was there to discuss it with him.

Thank you for the input! He has his second session today, and I hope it goes as well as it can. He did tell me he would tell me when it’s over. I’m glad he’s incorporating me into this and keeping me updated. I know we have a long way to go, but I want to educate myself as much as possible to better help him, but also me, too.

 

[LuckiLee]

My guy is being reevaluated right now, meds, docs, group etc. He had a meeting with three pdocs yesterday. They drilled him about every traumatic experience he went through during his service. And they wanted details. Pushed him to the limit.

When I got home from work he looked so worn out. He mentioned briefly how it went and how it made him feel. Then he crashed out in his chair. (He waited up until he knew I was home safe like he always does ❤) And he slept for 14 hours. He seems to be doing good today, surprisingly. Keeping busy.

I let him share whatever and whenever he wants and I JUST LISTEN. Because I don't "get it" and never will. We can think we understand but we don't. He shares a lot with me and I'm honored he feels safe enough to do so.

Be an ear to listen and a shoulder to cry on. XO

 

[Jay02]

My guy is being reevaluated right now, meds, docs, group etc. He had a meeting with three pdocs yesterday. They drilled him about every traumatic experience he went through during his service. And they wanted details. Pushed him to the limit.

When I got home from work he looked so worn out. He mentioned briefly how it went and how it made him feel. Then he crashed out in his chair. (He waited up until he knew I was home safe like he always does ❤) And he slept for 14 hours. He seems to be doing good today, surprisingly. Keeping busy.

I let him share whatever and whenever he wants and I JUST LISTEN. Because I don't "get it" and never will. We can think we understand but we don't. He shares a lot with me and I'm honored he feels safe enough to do so.

Be an ear to listen and a shoulder to cry on. XO

Thank you! When he called me two days ago, he was slowly opening up to me as to how difficult it is and how difficult this will be. He’s also keeping me in the loop with his sessions (whenever he feels okay enough to do so), which I’m thankful for. Essentially, I let him come to me and he knows that I’d be here whenever that time comes.

Coming on this site has been a godsend. Thank you so much. To each and every one of you. I know it’s a lifelong journey, and it’s only the beginning, but I can literally see myself with him.

 

[Never_falter2]

When I got home from work he looked so worn out. He mentioned briefly how it went and how it made him feel. Then he crashed out in his chair. (He waited up until he knew I was home safe like he always does ❤) And he slept for 14 hours.

Mine does it too (wait until I am home until he goes to sleep) but I hate it because I am afraid he doesn’t get enough sleep.