#meetoo perved again

[Mach123]

I decided to visit this other board I know about that's for men with CSA issues. I decided I was strong enough. Big mistake. The pervs come out like moths to a flame. My therapist is always going on above how I need the company of other men and I'm like "ah, no."

Well of course I'm right and I was not even there a week and I'm thinking "oh this is great and I'm going be able to help the other men."

But 2 of them were right away trying to haul me into "private chat" because "they just come feel comfortable in the group" and I was like that at first you know so like ok like an idiot.

( sound familiar girls?)

Yep, the old perv routine again. Lol

I'm not hurt you know. I'm justified. I'm not leaving there in a huff, I wrote the moderators. I went there to work on my issues not join a gay dating site. ( I was and am always clear I'm not gay )

I didn't like it here when they got rid of private conversations but you know what?

I might have to rethink that.

 

[Fadeaway]

That is so incredibly frustrating. It sounds like a lot of people must get retraumatized over there.

 

[blackemerald1]

My therapist is always going on above how I need the company of other men and I'm like "ah, no.

Does your T mean online forums or irl? There is such a big difference imo. :)

 

[Mach123]

Does your T mean online forums or irl? There is such a big difference imo. :)

No she means in person. She runs these weekends of recovery but I've always just laughed at her because I know it's not for me. I have to be gentle though since it's more or less her life's work. I love her honestly. I don't agree with her on everything.

I

 

[Mach123]

I went to the mods on the other board. I wrote them and I just laid it out. I sent it all to my therapist who congratulated me on almost every level. I wasn't 100% sure what she'd say. I had no doubt I was right. I just hoped I was gentle enough but very firm at the same time, which I accomplished according to her.

The board software they use is the same as here so once I was sufficiently comfortable I went and blocked the offending parties. They can't pm me or try and private chat me anymore. If I'd been calm enough when it first happened I'd have probably just done that but I went off the deep end as usual a little.

I had something to say though and I said it.

This is big for me because the whole thing over there was such a massive trigger for me but it's really not anymore. Nothing like it was.

Sometimes you just have to say fuk it.

 

[Wendell_R]

If I'd been calm enough when it first happened I'd have probably just done that but I went off the deep end as usual a little.

But you did absolutely great in writing to the mods, sending it to your therapist, being gentle but firm. It's NOT going off the deep end if you are inappropriately approached on a forum where people discuss their CSA.

I had something to say though and I said it.

Yes! Wonderful!

 

[Mach123]

So I was back hanging around in that chat room and I am having a good experience despite the perv. I am reaching stuff I have been ignoring or not able to deal with. But, that person is still in chat and I want to be in chat even though I have him blocked and that pissed me off this morning so I started some sh*t.

The mods took private chat away because of what I told them. Someone mentioned it in chat and the room was busy and I said "that's because I got perved in here and 2 people were dragging me into private chat rooms and I was not even back here a week." Then I signed off. The perv is not gonna know if I used his name or not.

I want the perv to go away. So I'm all triggered (pardon my using that word) and I want not just my use of the chat, which is helping me, but I don't want anyone else getting perved and, fuk him you know what I mean. I even typed #meetoo in chat so they knew wtf I was talking about.

am I a bitch or what? is this like girl power?

You know Im sitting there looking at the people in chat and Im looking at his name and I'm like you know what? You are about to have a real bad day.

My therapist said "that part of you is sticking up for herself finally."

 

[EveHarrington]

No, I don’t think this is what #metoo is about because now 99.9999999% of people can say #metoo and the movement means nothing.

Then again, the movement is already devolving into nothingness, and many of us who have been raped, molested, etc saw this coming from the beginning and refused to say “me too”. I refuse to say it because I refuse to be put in the same boat as women who received an unwanted hug. FFS.

Men/women trying to get involved in X rated chat is status quo on the Internet.

I think if this bothers you to this level, maybe just log off of anything private for good.

This kind of chat is on every site that has PMs and private chat (guaranteed).

You’re not a bitch, but most likely what you reported to mods is the straw that broke the camels back, not something new to them.

 

[Mach123]

No, I don’t think this is what #metoo is about because now 99.9999999% of people can say #metoo and the movement means nothing.

Then again, the movement is already devolving into nothingness, and many of us who have been raped, molested, etc saw this coming from the beginning and refused to say “me too”. I refuse to say it because I refuse to be put in the same boat as women who received an unwanted hug. FFS.

Men/women trying to get involved in X rated chat is status quo on the Internet.

I think if this bothers you to this level, maybe just log off of anything private for good.

This kind of chat is on every site that has PMs and private chat (guaranteed).

You’re not a bitch, but most likely what you reported to mods is the straw that broke the camels back, not something new to them.

Eve, you never disappoint me. X Rated chat is not allowed on that site (supposedly) and the private chat has been taken down do to the abuse I cited.

My therapist started that board back in the dark ages and NO it's NOT to b expected that you're going to get perved" on a site dedicated to helping men suffering from CSA.

What you said boils down to "so you get hit on what do you expect and get over it." I didn't have to make a big deal out of it but I didn't go there to get perved. The therapist approved of what I did which I wasn't so sure she would.

I don't know why I have not blocked you since much of your stuff makes me feel "bent out of shape." Even when it's not directed at me but, I like your "tell them off" attitude a little.

thanks !

 

[Orchid1818]

Me too movement bothers me and triggered me at the same time. I always think well if everyone else is saying me too, how come I ended up with a world of anxiety and they are all fine. But I think it's like you said, they are saying "me too" to getting an unwanted hug and 99.99999% of population can make it trendy.

 

[hithere]

you were right. I don't blame you at all for being super cautious. a long time ago i was in a "recovery" group with both male and female survivors. it was actually helpful, but there were some criminals that would come around, too. But I say that to say that group of men and women gave me a lot to think about, a lot to own. it was a csa12 step program.