I’m a sped teacher. Crazy class means you’ll have a crazy head every day from stress- deal w kids behavior first.... and w crazy classes come crazy parents w unrealistic expectations! Then follows the administration. Stress created! OMG I feel your pain!
Here are my suggestion for what they are worth:
Don’t send kids to the office- deal w them. You know those wild kids-they are often trauma victims and they have parts. Some don’t think they do.... but most will buy in to whatever philosophy you bring to school as long as they get something out of it. If you know your child part- get your child part to help you connect emotionally.
They all have a child part that wants to hear that they are good. Bad behaving kids need: a) concrete expectations with what does the behavior look like( it has to be described, modeled and specific) EG., b) someone who will find the good, c) a cheering section, and d) structure and consistency.
To connect- your baddest behaving ones need to know that they can be good. I did a “participation grade” which was based on specific behavior for a set time each day- for my worst classes- I have that grade all class. Every kid had a sticky note on their desk w name and date at the top. That sticky note was their participation grade ( which they quickly found could be an easy 100 if they complied). If they were a poor reader and writer, they could get passing grades if they participated appropriately. Better behavior resulted in greater focus and retention. Their handed in work was their daily grade. I combined both grades for their overall grade. I wrote on their sticky notes primarily the good things I saw them do. I used please and thank you in stickynote writing- thanks for that great question, thank you for giving me your undivided attention, Im proud of you( this makes them smile) because many kids don’t hear this from parents....Doing much better, thank you for trying....great focus, great question, smiley faces denoted I was happy w their participation. Something about writing the feedback as it sat on their desk made it more real, I think- concrete.I always jotted down at least 1 positive comment each day and no more than 3. This method also improved my class monitoring skills daily. Kids also knew that these notes could be used in parent meetings to show how awesome their participation was or to show improvement.
Straight faces—10 points- not so happy- always with an explanation- can you please...... I know you can. -25 pts disrupting my class and blatant disrespect-25 points with an explanation for improvement..
There was no argument for sticky notes- it was plain as day in writing. I did not do verbal explanations.
When the class was good for a week ( not test grades) but participation grades- they were rewarded as a class. Initially I only gave candy to those w 90 or better. Soon I had few days w behavior below a 90. I went from horrific classes to good still sometimes appropriately chatty classes where when sticky notes were turned in- if I forgot to give a happy face or comment-I’d have kids upset because they didn’t get personalized feedback and liked hearing the good things. I kept all sticky notes-and had data for improvement....and good things to tell parents! Yes- this is really initially time consuming but that was worth it because I could teach after I got their willingness to learn, respect, then compliance. I could reach the misbehaved child part this way.- I didn’t take it personally when Id look at the struggling kids in this way.
This in combination with lessons that tapped into their creativity gave me something physical to brag about-great artist, awesome musician, great actor, and it was more fun than a worksheet. The more I understood their child part, the better I could reinforce it and help it flourish.
And initially I had a smart part lesson- everyone has a smart part- a lesson on strengths and improving self esteem. Kids designed their own super suits and wrote about the positive apps they would download to make them a better student. I created an imaginary super suit for me as teacher. I used mine as a model. Kids had to write about their talents- and if they had none they created an app to compensate in their super suit. - I pulled kids for lunch, and the worst ones liked it- cause they were alone and could open up. Kids understand parts-some will say initially they don’t- but you can access the child part quietly, on their sticky note- by finding and positively reinforcing their strengths and improved behaviors. In the end- everyone found their smart part. I taught 6-8th Grade.
To prevent your stress related dissociation:
Get student behavior under control and give them lots of positives!
Be super organized- plan and COPY a week ahead, and use technology( calendar program) and 2 cell phone/computer reminders for all appointments) for memory help and find a quiet place every day for 30 min to destress in a locked room without teacher/student interruption. Plus Take 2 bathroom breaks a day -during school-am/pm kids do and check email in staff bathroom.You can too!
Be Proactive:
Identify major sources of stress and compensate:
Email was a source of stress from admin so I kept it under control.... w bathroom breaks.
Parents were my second source of stress- so I called 1-2 parents a day after school and reported sticky note data.... mostly improvements in academics and behavior or good behavior. Parents on my side- complain to me- parents going to admin- create issues and can cause lots of stress.
Emails to parents- no more than 3 sentences. If it will take more than 3 sentences, make a call.
Take your lunch, eat, and destress ( video games, music, stress app- calm, etc) in a private preferably locked room, dim the lights helps with calm. Do not plan or answer emails at lunch)
To give myself organization and time after work:
At home, meals were take out or crockpot only- less mess meant more me time.
Got hair done regularly- every 1-2 weeks- get pampered on the way home from work.
Sticking w a schedule-key( I had a white board at home by the bed. All meetings for school in one color, drs appts in another, and routine stuff in black. 2 hrs of down time and no computer 1 hr before bed by 9. That visual whiteboard calendar which had 2 months of my home/school schedule was reviewed before climbing into bed and upon waking grounded me in what I had to do that day to function. I’d add/delete to each day at night when going to bed. It helped with issues of time.
Check and plan spiritual, social, intellectual, creative needs on weekends.
Good luck!
Take your 20 min lunch break in your locked classroom or other secluded area- and 1, meditate, 2. Play a video game on your computer ( candy crush is my go to dissociative game), 3. Plan fun things to do after work( call the hairdresser, get appt for a pedicure, order a pizza)- something to look forward to that is calming, fun, or will reduce stress at home. Take a mindwalk in your safe place. Listen to calming music. Don’t skip lunch to catch up and refuse to give up your lunch time.
Take 2 planned 5 min bathroom breaks during the day- check your email- mid morning and mid afternoon. These times were set so I made it a time where so had agreed upon coverage-this time can also be used to collect yourself on a bad day.
If you are well planned, ( make plans 2 weeks ahead or at least a week, if you decompensate- you have prepared for that possibility- have plans, and work prepared for the next day.
