Structural Dissociation?

[Wendell_R]

Acceptance in DID is first releasing the need to deny and control.

I hadn't thought of this, but it makes sense. I have had some new parts come out of hiding in just the past few weeks, and embracing them and what they say seems to be very helpful. To Friday's point, I'm lucky that my parts are pretty benign!

 

[Ronin]

I'm lucky that my parts are pretty benign!

IME same things are still the same vital.
Regardless of how benign one is, or thinks to themselves they are.
(There. I managed to not have the self deprecating: Totally benign, too.)

//

Some times I think therapists really do more harm with this parts stuff, than not.
As in different mindsets of one person are just that. They are not different people.
And different people have their own mindsets. Not as one dimensional / disavowing one set of issues like that.
(Where are all of those people talking about different dietary needs and not remembering allergies their alter has / f*cking themselves over in the process? But there are tons of Oh, but I got the angry self inside, and the helpless one, people all around.)

Separating things out of necessity... is another bag of apples, oranges, and half rotten fruit. Not the would be cutesy easily describable parts, one set of emotionality per each, neatly labeled and approved.

If you have rage issues? Damn work on it. Childhood abuse or not, no reason to cultivate it. Adulthood any type of mess, neither. If you’re free people, you are responsible for yourself, and how you treat others, that simple.

 

[shimmerz]

As in different mindsets of one person are just that. They are not different people.

If only it were that simple.

Just for the record, one of my different mindsets used to take me outside in the freezing cold and hide. Or to hide in broiling hot cars. I knew exactly what this 'part' was doing but literally could not move myself out of danger. There was nothing 'just' about those situations.

Parts are about trauma playing out in somatic ways. We are doing the best we can trying to tease this apart so a 'part' of us doesn't get us killed or destroy our lives in ways that leave us hopeless for the rest of our days.

Please do not use minimizing terms. It is condescending and not even a tiny bit helpful for people who are trying to manage to stay alive or keep any type of quality of life while learning how to manage with 'parts' that are acting out their trauma.

 

[PTSDGuy]

Separating things out of necessity... is another bag of apples, oranges, and half rotten fruit. Not the would be cutesy easily describable parts, one set of emotionality per each, neatly labeled and approved.

If you have rage issues? Damn work on it. Childhood abuse or not, no reason to cultivate it. Adulthood any type of mess, neither. If you’re free people, you are responsible for yourself, and how you treat others, that simple.

Message received... I posted here to try to figure out things that my therapists first brought up, but I guess I'll just tell them when they bring up parts that they're just "cutesy easily describable parts, one set of emotionality per each, neatly labeled and approved".

I wish I hadn't even opened this thread. I'm done.

 

[Ronin]

Please do not use minimizing terms.

You DO realize that literally wasn't my point, right?

My point was that this parts stuff is not about purely emotional reactions, however complex emotions themselves and how they play out, is.

& I was for the exact opposite of minimizing it down to emotions. Or emotions one does not want to deal with and would rather avoid responsibility, for.

 

[TruthSeeker]

@PTSDGuy You said you were trying to allow yourself the possibility of considering you have parts.

Drawing my parts as individuals, parts of a whole system has been really valuable- I drew the ones I knew to include the self. Drawing is creative and soothing and allows me to slow down and think about what the parts might look and feel like. I can make internal connections through art. I know others have this ability too. I am able to capture their essence, function and emotions this way. This has helped with the conceptualization of my parts as well as acceptance and led to more frequent communication. Consider accessing them on paper or other medium. They will pose!?

 

[Ronin]

I posted here to try to figure out things that my therapists first brought up

Your therapists seem to be missing at least one crucial point.
Dissociation into parts is not something you realize you have one day because it fits.

It is something existing since childhood, not something created in adult, even if complex, trauma.
Or, in the case of DDNOS, extreme and long term grooming. Not just any abuse.

So if consciousness issues, or acting involuntarily when in strong affect? Gonna be different ethiology. Sure something (worth investigating and more matteringly, sorting out.). But not DID & DDNOS.

 

[PTSDGuy]

Your therapists seem to be missing at least one crucial point.
Dissociation into parts is not something you realize you have one day because it fits.

It is something existing since childhood, not something created in adult, even if complex, trauma.
Or, in the case of DDNOS, extreme and long term grooming. Not just any abuse.

I'll let my therapists know that they're missing a crucial point. I figured they knew what they're talking about, but maybe I'm wrong.

Just because I'm finally ready to deal with things doesn't mean I realized something one day because it "fits".

What exactly is "extreme and long term grooming"? One month? Five years? What if I was only abused for four years as a kid? Is that enough? How extreme does it have to be? Did I have to be groomed? I'm not sure if my parents did that or not.

I'm not an expert on abuse... Is there a list I can show to my therapists that they can look at to decide if my abuse was at the extreme and long term grooming level?

I'm glad there are people on here who understand. Obviously my therapists are incompetent.

 

[PTSDGuy]

Drawing my parts as individuals, parts of a whole system has been really valuable- I drew the ones I knew to include the self. Drawing is creative and soothing and allows me to slow down and think about what the parts might look and feel like. I can make internal connections through art. I know others have this ability too. I am able to capture their essence, function and emotions this way. This has helped with the conceptualization of my parts as well as acceptance and led to more frequent communication. Consider accessing them on paper or other medium. They will pose!?

Strange, I've been thinking lately that I should maybe try something art related... and you posted about that very idea... Maybe I'll finally try.

 

[Ronin]

Skipping the massive dose of passive aggression & back to the point:

DDNOS originally, AFAIK, was a dx criteria put in place because of changes observed in brainwashing victims / torture victims and prisoners of war groups. With remarkably many personality cohesion & functioning & lucidity / sleep dep issues, changes... not applicable since childhood, being the only difference // that it was all adult trauma, outside of primary caregivers, too.

That was what puzzled the researchers hard on it, the usual attachment theories into personality formation and fragmenttion did not apply there, since *not by parents* of the people.

So, yes. Does not really refer, as diagnostic categories, to just any childhood trauma. (Or child trauma repressed into adulthood. That the sufferer would be enough functional with for decades. Dissociation theories and all started to be a thing because people, despite their best efforts, just were not functional, in the considered basics. Or camouflaged for dysfunction by being functional in another area, unrelated to their trauma / whole lifestyles serving as coping mechanism.)

Different types and effects.
So just labeling emotional difficulties in one area / one emotion, like anger? Indeed does not do those justice / is not anywhere *close*.

 

[shimmerz]

Skipping the massive dose of passive aggression & back to the point:

Really?

I wish I hadn't even opened this thread. I'm done.

Me too. And it's my thread. And has been a really good thread.

Skipping the massive dose of passive aggression & back to the point:

Maybe you don't need to keep jamming down someone's throat that you are right and everyone else is wrong. It's annoying.

 

[Ronin]

Really?

Was in reaction to PTSDGuy, the whole post.
I wasn't aware me overhearing the ad hominem attacks, where none quite warranted, is a bad thing.

& Taking education / correction on research, to the very issue you are asking about, is annoying? Well then.