Relationship Isolation and my bf

[Orchid1818]

Is there a way to get the isolation periods down to a week?

 

[Sweetpea76]

That’s gonna be on him. He has to acknowledge he does it, want to fix it, then put in the work. There’s no easy fix or “method” for a supporter to use.

Personally I don’t tolerate long isolation periods. I give him space when he needs it, but he usually only takes a few days. I’m not going to sit around for weeks and wonder if I’m single. That’s MY boundary and he knows it. If he were to bugger off for weeks at a time with no word I would leave him. We’ve established “rules”. I respect his PTSD symptoms, but he has to respect my needs too.

 

[Orchid1818]

The communication during isolation has gotten much better. Length of time hasn't changed.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

Length of time hasn't changed.

How long is it usually?

 

[EveHarrington]

Is there a way to get the isolation periods down to a week?

With therapy, active healing, and possibly medication.

But even with all these, isolation may not change.

 

[Orchid1818]

2-3 weeks, also around memorial day and veterans day

 

[lostforgottensoul]

2-3 weeks

Can you set a boundry. Gone more then a few days, I need a text, every few days, that you are ok, AKA alive. That I just cannot worry for 2 to 3 weeks at a time, which by all rights, is reasonable.

Is there stress at home that would make it harder to come home when still bad? Can you handle some distance but home? Moody swings and such? Maybe a give on your part. That if he comes home when it's still bad, that you are ok with distance. But that you just cannot worry for weeks on end like that. Not sure about this one as when it's bad, I'm a raging lunitic or just gone mentally and everything in between but I am just trying to think of ways to set some boundries but still give him the space he needs.

I think another boundry should be therapy and actively working on things but that'll have to be up to you.

 

[Orchid1818]

We are just dating, and don't live together. So there isn't stress in my home.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

Ah, sorry @Orchid1818. Should of ask rather then assumed. Rough few days for me.

 

[Orchid1818]

@lostforgottensoul I'm sorry to hear. Everything ok? I'm all ears if you need to vent here.

 

[Justmehere]

Have you had a conversation about what you need to make the relationship work?

 

[EveHarrington]

Ok a bit confused, maybe it’s due to regional/national differences.

Are you two officially boyfriend/girlfriend, in a committed relationship?

I ask because around here, people who are just dating are not considered to be in a committed relationship.

Dating is a step below commitment.