Other Confusion about my main “adult” identity apart from my parts.

[Hopefulphoenix]

Ok first of all I dont have DID. I have desnos (is that right). I have only just started working on getting these parts of me to listen, cooperate and integrate.
Boy I wish there was a school I could go to for this as it is very painful and confusing (like Hogwarts please!)
Anyway. The top of my confusion pile right now is the talk of the adult part, or ANP? I feel that if I do have one it is very small. And I feel really bad about this. And then the critical part of me has a party. ?
Because of the emotional pain that I am in most of the time I cant work, (apart from on me) I dont have friends. And I dont particularly have a sense that I am holding it together. I am scared as a little child very much of the time, well, feeling emotions of a child. Yet at the same time as feeling her emotions alot, I know somehow, and my T agrees that my little is somehow trapped in trauma time. So where is the adult?
Will the adult grow as I learn self care to calm down the past pain of the littles?
Arghh help.

 

[ILoveLife]

The adult wrote this post :)

 

[Karolina12]

Boy I wish there was a school I could go to for this as it is very painful and confusing (like Hogwarts please!)

This made me smile today ? That would be amazing.

 

[Hopefulphoenix]

erm Thanks @Sietz ; bit cryptic but maybe you can come teach at Dissociative Hogwarts lol. ?.
Im just a bit pissed off coz I am sure the dissociative guide book which I am reading assumes I am better than I am?!
Usually I think, ok Ill save that puzzle for my new therapist, but its damned Easter break now!
And hey @Karolina12 glad I made you smile ?.

 

[Wendell_R]

Thanks @Sietz ; bit cryptic

I think @Sietz is making the point that your posts are well worded, thoughtful, and clearly the work of a functional adult. So the ANP is very clearly present to us, even if it's hard for you to see. Maybe a way to look at it is the problem isn't the lack of an ANP, but how that ANP is overwhelmed by intrusive memories. For me, the first step to calming that storm was learning how to really ground myself in the present. That didn't really heal anything, but it gave the adult a little bit of peace.

(like Hogwarts please!)

I wonder what the four houses would be???

 

[Ronin]

IMO you are allowed to feel scared, helpless, to bugf*ck terrified...

Still being an adult. Emotions do not have corresponding age ranges.
Just because you are scared, does not mean you are ergo a child.

 

[ILoveLife]

Not trying to be cryptic, pretty much straightforward actually, sorry if it seems cryptic though :)

You're looking for the adult, try reading the OP and see where you can find your adult self writing. It certainly doesn't seem like a child wrote it. Further on this, it could be that it is yet another part.