Too many changes leading to weird anxiety and craving steadiness

[Justmehere]

A lot of relationships are shifting in my life right now due to people moving away, graduating, etc, etc. Work, personal, all areas of my life. None of it has anything to do with me or the relationship wirh me, just changes happening for others. I am trying to make some big shifts in my own life too.

It’s more than an issue of just change, and it’s not a fear of abandonment, but I’m still stressed about it. I want to just shut down shut everything out. My heart is tired and stressed out. My landlady even commented that I have lived where I have lived a long time. Apparently 4 years in one rental is a long time here? :(

Tired of it all. I haven’t told anyone but I’m feeling super out of place and alone. Hopeless. And very fearful. Much of my current local support system of sorts will be gone in the next few weeks. I’ll build another. But still.

This stinks.

 

[Gs172003]

A lot of relationships are shifting in my life right now due to people moving away, graduating, etc, etc. Work, personal, all areas of my life. None of it has anything to do with me or the relationship wirh me, just changes happening for others. I am trying to make some big shifts in my own life too.

It’s more than an issue of just change, and it’s not a fear of abandonment, but I’m still stressed about it. I want to just shut down shut everything out. My heart is tired and stressed out. My landlady even commented that I have lived where I have lived a long time. Apparently 4 years in one rental is a long time here? :(

Tired of it all. I haven’t told anyone but I’m feeling super out of place and alone. Hopeless. And very fearful. Much of my current local support system of sorts will be gone in the next few weeks. I’ll build another. But still.

This stinks.

:( I'm sorry

 

[VioletButterfly]

First off, I hear you and I am very sorry for your distress.

From what you've noted, I’m wondering how the stress of change has affected you in the past?? Is your current experience with others transitioning/yourself transitioning triggering past experiences surrounding change or a “need” to change, or instances where you feel things needed to change in order to protect yourself and didn’t?

Wondering if you feel in need of a rescue and feeling conflicted in that you feel like you should manage your own life and changes attendant thereto? Is this reaching backward somehow/someway? (I might be projecting as this is a part of where I’m at right now - needing help, but feeling I "should" be able to manage", but thought I’d offer it up.)

Just wanted to put this out there as I’m also in a similar internal state of conflict/quandary and having a very difficult time in waging this war within myself. Sending very strong support and encouragement vibes your way. You are a tough, strong cookie with lots of skills! Sending hugs and prayers too if that’s okay. VB

 

[Justmehere]

Just went to a goodbye group ending thing... I’m wrecked. No one else seems to be shaken up. I’m totally wrecked. What the heck?

 

[knuckles]

I don't do changes very well. I also know I am good at adapting, and getting back on my feet and brushing myself off when I stumble/fall down. But my first reaction to changes is usually a sense of chaos; I get overwhelmed, stressed out and frustrated. I tend to want to turn away, sever connections and basically just simplify everything. I guess it's about trying to maintain a sense of balance, to be able to know what's coming, to avoid being caught off guard. Or something like that - there's probably more to if I choose to look deeper.
I think I have gotten better at accepting the sense of turmoil and chaos and being frustrated (maybe scared?) as I know from previous experience that I always seem to regain my sense of balance and direction - that at some point I will choose to reach out and reconnect again. But I am still pretty much a mess every time something changes beyond my control or instigation.

 

[pam4him]

So sorry. Been there, done that. With a lot of changes happening, even when it's for others, it affects us. Maybe if you did something for them, it would take your mind off the change. Perhaps a nice note/letter encouraging them in this next chapter of their life, share a favorite memory that you treasure, that you hope to catch up once they've settled, etc. It can help to write out some good feelings. Hold on to your positivity about rebuilding support. It can carry you during this rough patch. As for where you live, maybe she's just happy to have a dependable tenant. Prayers for peace and strength.

 

[Teasel]

Am so sorry. Have felt similarly devastated in similar situations of late. Losing most of your circle when you're already struggling so much is bloody huge. Much care to you x

 

[grit]

I am sorry you are going through a lot of change. It can be truly nerve wrecking! I have done enough of those in the past almost every 8 to 10yrs that I am done now. or hope.

To your landlord's question I see living one place that long as stability not something to comment negatively! Even if this is about abandonment which it may not as you said, that is OK too...we all feel like that sometimes depending on situations. Missing friends and people we get to know is OK and take this anxiety that you care and will miss them very much so. it is like mourning.

 

[Cypress]

Maybe your landlady likes it when people move out so she can raise the rent.