DID Passive Influence

[AlishaK]

Hello,

I am curious to know if anyone here with DID knows much about passive influence from personal experience. I know what it is in an academic sense, but am trying to understand it from personal experience. I know that in the past I have been angry and words come out of my mouth that are so foul and abusive that I am surprised and shocked that they came out of my mouth. They don't seem to be under my control and usually when I try to retract it and say that I never meant to say those things, people do not allow me to undo it, because it is usually so awful that they choose not to be friends with or interact with me again. This feels like it might be what the professionals call "passive influence."

Other examples or experiences within your system would be great to hear.

Thanks :-)

Also, is it possible to experience passive influence and then have amnesia of it?

 

[Ronin]

I'm not sure I believe in it.

Like, if someone else said it? Then it is fairly active influence, just not yours.

Switching can be in so many subtle things, emotions, different opinions on crucial topics, it does not have to be the kind of hijacking behavior only.

 

[AlishaK]

I'm not sure I believe in it.

Like, if someone else said it? Then it is fairly active influence, just not yours.

Switching can be in so many subtle things, emotions, different opinions on crucial topics, it does not have to be the kind of hijacking behavior only.

Hmmm interesting take on it. Have you read, "The Haunted Self"?

 

[Ronin]

Have you read, "The Haunted Self"?

No, not yet. Why?

 

[AlishaK]

No, not yet. Why?

Because it talks a lot about passive influence. It's essentially the bible of the Structural Dissociation theory. It explains primary, secondary, and tertiary dissociation and how they are caused. Tertiary dissociation is considered to be DID with multiple ANPs and multiple EPs, while secondary is OSDD, with only one ANP and multiple EPs, and primary is a form of dissociation that only involves one ANP and one EP.

ANPs are the "apparently normal parts" that do daily tasks and are sometimes unaware of trauma, and EPs are considered to be emotional parts that hold the trauma.

 

[Ronin]

It's essentially the bible of the Structural Dissociation theory.

I think we are missing each other out precisely on this:

Theory. :)

That is, majorly for that aspect of health care, written by people who are not that level of fragmentated themselves. So the research is singletized by default & sounding way mechanic.
It gets assumed who must be the main, who must be which roles, who must be... this and that, where there is a lot more fluidity in everything and individual (bodily) circumstances and (cultural) raising that changes how people see themselves and function.

I don't believe, personally, in the not taking responsibility. I know I do it when scared & lacking plans, genuinely confused about what is going on (not I didn't do this confused, medical intervention for health issues needing confused).

But outside of those, things as treating other people? I don't believe in the sort of advice of, Oh, poor you, it was not actually you, so you do not need to be fixing issues in relating at all.

In part because I took that route with many, before.
Good intentions, road to hell.

 

[Sideways]

I’m not big on structural dissociation. It hasn’t added anything helpful to me personally in terms of understanding my DID or learning to manage it.

Are you dissociated when you have these episodes? When the words come out of your mouth, how grounded/dissociated do you feel?

If one of your parts is screwing things up? Figuring out what that part has a problem with and working out a solution with them might be a good way to manage the problem?

 

[grit]

I read that book and it actually opened my eyes and truly make me see the veil or as they put it eps that were my ptsd. And I realized who is anp and the shocking realization that wow just wow how I was driving this bus called life without knowing who I was. I cannt speak to the passive influence directly but I would say that your behavior depends on who you are interacting. Road rage maybe? Partner or child or family member... Your anp needs real strength to control and manage.

About this being a theory as @Ronin noted it is interesting but I was really shocked about the writers having this much insight. I took it they may not self disclose. It is a powerful book and since then I started to recognize not every EP but many that was in exile and basically it is another way of acknowledging a feeling that before I used to bury it. Now I can recognize I hate this person at work that I am talking to but I am choosing to smile and be friendly because of work. I am not letting that hateful EP take over and act all mighty and bitchy and then say oooh it was not me. But not also telling myself you do not hate people and that is not good. I take bad EPs and make peace that is me or part of me or side of me but not ANP though.

 

[EveHarrington]

Speaking as an outsider, are you sure this is a DID thing? I’d be careful about buying into ideas that explain so called DID behavior.....when the truth is that if a non DID person flips out and says things they don’t mean, it’s an anger issue, something that is considered to be within their control.

The implication that I’m getting from your post is that the vileness and nastiness should be excused because you have DID, whereas other people with anger issues should be held accountable for their behaviors. The real world doesn’t care that you have parts. (Just as the real world doesn’t care that I have PTSD.) Behavior is behavior. Blaming your actions on a part and expecting forgiveness because it was a part (and not the real you), isn’t a path you want to go down, I don’t think. It will just alienate people even more, because there will always be doubt as to when you are the “real” you and when you are a “part”. (Such a relationship would be exhausting.....)

 

[AlishaK]

I think we are missing each other out precisely on this:

Theory. :)

That is, majorly for that aspect of health care, written by people who are not that level of fragmentated themselves. So the research is singletized by default & sounding way mechanic.
It gets assumed who must be the main, who must be which roles, who must be... this and that, where there is a lot more fluidity in everything and individual (bodily) circumstances and (cultural) raising that changes how people see themselves and function.

I don't believe, personally, in the not taking responsibility. I know I do it when scared & lacking plans, genuinely confused about what is going on (not I didn't do this confused, medical intervention for health issues needing confused).

But outside of those, things as treating other people? I don't believe in the sort of advice of, Oh, poor you, it was not actually you, so you do not need to be fixing issues in relating at all.

In part because I took that route with many, before.
Good intentions, road to hell.

Oh, I am not trying to displace the blame here, it's all me in there. It has only happened a couple of times, the mean response thing, or rather, the abusive response. It did have a feeling, though, as if it were out of my control. At the time I was not aware of my DID. I'm trying to figure things out in reverse ;-)

Speaking as an outsider, are you sure this is a DID thing? I’d be careful about buying into ideas that explain so called DID behavior.....when the truth is that if a non DID person flips out and says things they don’t mean, it’s an anger issue, something that is considered to be within their control.

The implication that I’m getting from your post is that the vileness and nastiness should be excused because you have DID, whereas other people with anger issues should be held accountable for their behaviors. The real world doesn’t care that you have parts. (Just as the real world doesn’t care that I have PTSD.) Behavior is behavior. Blaming your actions on a part and expecting forgiveness because it was a part (and not the real you), isn’t a path you want to go down, I don’t think. It will just alienate people even more, because there will always be doubt as to when you are the “real” you and when you are a “part”. (Such a relationship would be exhausting.....)

I agree completely. I wouldn't attempt to say that I'm not responsible for all that I do, whether it is part of ME or a dissociated part of me that may have said that through "made actions". I'm trying, now that I've been diagnosed, to understand the disorder outside of an academic purview, and by purview I mean "range of vision, understanding, or cognizance - Merriam-Webster's definition."

I have read many books now, most meant for those with advanced degrees, and so I have very little experience with others who actually have DID. I'd like to know what their experiences are as opposed to what the professional world has decided we may experience.

make sense?

I’m not big on structural dissociation. It hasn’t added anything helpful to me personally in terms of understanding my DID or learning to manage it.

Are you dissociated when you have these episodes? When the words come out of your mouth, how grounded/dissociated do you feel?

If one of your parts is screwing things up? Figuring out what that part has a problem with and working out a solution with them might be a good way to manage the problem?

Good point. My biggest issue is that I don't have communication with my parts yet, just knowledge of their existence.

 

[Sideways]

I don't have communication with my parts yet, just knowledge of their existence.

This is bigtime progress, though. Just knowing they’re there, and having some kind of understanding about what they’re like? That’s a big deal.

Internal communication takes time, and practice, and a lot of it just plain old takes time while trust builds up.

If one of your parts is interrupting particular conversations for you? Then they’re not okay, and they don’t trust you to handle the situation the way they think you should. So that’s helpful. What does this part want you to know? What are their concerns? Priorities? Needs? What makes them feel safe?

The only one who can answer those questions is the part themselves. And there’s a tonne of different ways to open up that communication. Because if you can level with them about what their concerns are, you can work together to make sure they don’t feel the need to interrupt with the abusive stuff again. But that’s gonna require finding a way forward that you can both agree on.

Where there is currently no internal communication? People manage that all different ways. The part may be prepared to talk to your T about it, or journal about it. You may be able to leave them a note somewhere asking them to communicate (like, “Hey, I’ve figured out you got really upset or angry when... Can we talk about that?”).

 

[lostforgottensoul]

I don't have DID but rather Other Specified Dissociative Disorder or OSDD. I have "alters" but don't generally have amnesia anymore when switching. I used to though.

The reason I am replying is I used to have blind rage explosions. This statement

I know that in the past I have been angry and words come out of my mouth that are so foul and abusive that I am surprised and shocked that they came out of my mouth.

Really struck home. Didn't have any idea what I was saying until it was over. I would throw stuff. It was nuts. I was at work once throwing chairs then "woke up" hiding under a cubicle.

My therapist really taught me how to feel all of this coming on. It was triggered by anxiety. So, if I could feel that before ir happened, I could get away from what was causing it. I never learned how to not be blind during it though. I never learned how to control it. It's horrible. But, it may help to learn what triggers it and learn how to feel it coming on.

Not sure if that helps but thought I would throw it out there.