@Fadeaway I didn’t see any attacking going on. I think you may be feeling overwhelmed with your husband right now and you’re just taking things that way. Plus your own stress cup is probably overflowing, which has got to suck. A lot of sufferers cannot read supporter threads at all. It’s no fun to think about how PTSD symptoms can impact loved ones when you have PTSD yourself.
I’m going to talk to you as a fellow supporter now. I don’t have PTSD, but I’ve had more than a gut full of it at times, and I get the frustration.
Many sufferers are hypocrites or project or are in denial from time to time. Many have a variety of defense mechanisms. It is easier for many to point out someone else’s flaws and symptoms than deal with their own flaws and symptoms.
This is about the truest thing you’ll read today. Don’t think personally... think generally. Welcome to being a supporter, you’ll get to experience all this from the other side now. It’s rough, but lashing out, projection, blame and plenty of WTF moments will probably be in your future. PTSD is a selfish disorder... it doesn’t matter what your mental/emotional state is. If he’s reacting, he’s going to be in self preservation mode. That comes out in a lot of ways. If you had a nickel for every post on here about some supporter’s partner acting like this, you’d be rich. You’ve probably heard supporters say we feel like the designated asshole in the relationship. Sometimes it feels that way. We’re the closest, most obvious target. We’re also the safest.
Is it because our sufferers are terrible people? Nope. The cup’s just overflowing and it’s not always rainbows and cupcakes that come out.
He’s probably not capable of any sympathy right now. He’s probably hanging on by his fingernails, especially if the diagnosis is new and there is ongoing legal stuff going on reminding him of his trauma. He probably cannot deal with anybody’s emotions but his own.
The one advantage of both partners having PTSD is understanding. Who else can understand what is happening better?
