How can I control my sleeping?

[PandaPower]

Hey all !
As a kid sleeping was easier than dealing with my parents, so I would either be out of the house or sleeping as soon as I got home (I could sleep from 5 pm till the next morning). Even though I am not in the same situation anymore (I’m still at home, but my abusive father is in his 70s with beginning of dementia and I have very strong boundaries with him) this pattern hasn’t changed. There are things around the house that need to be done but I don’t do them. I either go out or I sleep. I can’t stay at home and be functional. This leads to clashes with my mum who feels overworked. If things don’t improve I am considering moving out, but I don’t feel safe living alone in my city and I’m not sure which situation will be worse for me. Anyway, until I decide what to do, any advice on how I can not sleep all the time?
Thanks ??
M

 

[HealingInProcess]

Hey all !
As a kid sleeping was easier than dealing with my parents, so I would either be out of the house or sleeping as soon as I got home (I could sleep from 5 pm till the next morning). Even though I am not in the same situation anymore (I’m still at home, but my abusive father is in his 70s with beginning of dementia and I have very strong boundaries with him) this pattern hasn’t changed. There are things around the house that need to be done but I don’t do them. I either go out or I sleep. I can’t stay at home and be functional. This leads to clashes with my mum who feels overworked. If things don’t improve I am considering moving out, but I don’t feel safe living alone in my city and I’m not sure which situation will be worse for me. Anyway, until I decide what to do, any advice on how I can not sleep all the time?
Thanks ??
M

You said there are things to do but you don't do them. Could you start small and just do one step of one thing and then build from there?

 

[ChildofGod]

I don't know of anything that may help, but it sounds like you need to talk to your doctor about this.

I'm going to add that I don't think you are comfortable with the chores, that doing them may keep you in compliance or there may be unresolved trauma too.

I'm sorry that you are in this situation. I hope you find a solution that works best for you.

 

[PandaPower]

You said there are things to do but you don't do them. Could you start small and just do one step of one thing and then build from there?

Hey healinginprocess!
Thanks for your reply!
I have been doing small things, but would like a routine going. Laying about not doing anything is starting to impact me but I also can’t motivate myself as most activities seem futile.

I don't know of anything that may help, but it sounds like you need to talk to your doctor about this.

I'm going to add that I don't think you are comfortable with the chores, that doing them may keep you in compliance or there may be unresolved trauma too.

I'm sorry that you are in this situation. I hope you find a solution that works best for you.

Hi zencat, thanks for replying !
I do think the chores keep me in compliance and that’s why I’m resisting doing them. I’ve come to associate them with giving in to my mums tantrums, but I need to shift to thinking of them as part of self care ( a clean room, fresh home cooked food etc) because I know when I lived outside my house I did these things as self care esp cooking. I can’t seem to make the shift thou :(.

 

[ChildofGod]

I'm sorry Panda. Could you do just one thing or can you ask a friend for help? Do what you can and don't beat yourself up for whatever is left, gets done or start it next time?