Avoiding my place of work, need help

[Fayne Jane]

After 2 separate situations with a Supervisor at my PT job I have experienced PTSD symptoms including a melt down when she took my cell phone 2 weeks ago. This past Sat she kept badgering me about a variety of issues, my perception is she is attacking me and this time I went into a verbal outburst yelling at her. Her Supervisor believes she behaved unprofessionally. The problem is I am afraid to go to work and engaging with my Sup. I don't work until this Sunday but would like any advice/assistance on how to help me with this???

I had a meltdown two weeks ago at work when one of the Leads at my PT job took my cell phone which felt like an attack and violation of my personal boundary's. Then this past Sat after feeling like she is badgering me and harassing me about tiny problems I went into an outburst yelling at her and others, mostly her as I feel like she has been harassing me. My perception is she is attacking me. Now I am afraid to go to my place of work which is a retail warehouse, and more afraid to encounter the lead Sandy.

I am recognized as being a great employee and I found out today my Supervisor is mad at Sandy for acting unprofessional and threatening to fire me. I heard this from 2 friends and the thing is I have no recall of her saying that, all I remember is my yelling at her totally out of control in the back hall. How to I get past the fear of returning to work and dealing with her? Please HELP

 

[somerandomguy]

Do you need the job? If it was me and I didn't need the job, I wouldn't go back. Sounds like a pretty toxic environment.

 

[joeylittle]

@Fayne Jane, your two threads on the same topic have been merged, and moved into the Employment forum, for a better fit.

On topic: Can you meet with your supervisor before your next shift, and talk things through with them? it sounds like they are on your side...

 

[Friday]

Personally, I break things down. One of those ways is via legit / oops / not kosher columns. Another is into component pieces.

Like there are times when shouting someone down is absolutely the right thing to do, the wrong thing to do, or could have been handled better.

Ditto in reverse (looking at someone else’s reactions before of my own), is their taking my phone the kinder option as opposed to firing me, or writing me up? Would I rather they write me up or fire me instead of taking my phone (sometimes, that answer is yes. Fire me, write me up, but don’t touch my things)? Or was their taking my phone bizarre & unsat / I need my phone for my job and I was using it for my job, and hey had neither right nor impetus to take it?

Meanwhile, component pieces would look like;

Am I afraid of going into work because I’m afraid of losing my job because of my behavior? (Out of control yelling). Or afraid of repeating that behavior / being out of control? Or afraid of embarrassment? (Facing people who saw me out of control). Or afraid of politics? (Knowing a supervisor wants me fired, and a manager doesn’t). Or afraid of being fired? Or...? Are these likely fears? If so, how do I take appropriate measures? (Like if it’s likely I’ll be fired, go ahead and start looking for new work now, rather than waiting a week to find out if I’m fired, and then starting to look). Or if it’s likely I’ll pop off on someone, again, if XYZ happens? Start planning out other ways to handle the situation. Including everything from calmly quitting, to deciding shouting them down would be completely worth it as long as I’m in control rather than out of control). If I’m embarrassed is that justified because I made an ass of myself? (And how do I go about setting that right?) Or did I handle things rightly? (And how to be secure in that).

It’s essentially figuring out my own boundaries, strengths/weaknesses, & (possible) courses of action when faced with different possibilities.

 

[Fayne Jane]

@Fayne Jane, your two threads on the same topic have been merged, and moved into the Employment forum, for a better fit.

On topic: Can you meet with your supervisor before your next shift, and talk things through with them? it sounds like they are on your side...

Yes I can, nervous to do so

Personally, I break things down. One of those ways is via legit / oops / not kosher columns. Another is into component pieces.

Like there are times when shouting someone down is absolutely the right thing to do, the wrong thing to do, or could have been handled better.

Ditto in reverse (looking at someone else’s reactions before of my own), is their taking my phone the kinder option as opposed to firing me, or writing me up? Would I rather they write me up or fire me instead of taking my phone (sometimes, that answer is yes. Fire me, write me up, but don’t touch my things)? Or was their taking my phone bizarre & unsat / I need my phone for my job and I was using it for my job, and hey had neither right nor impetus to take it?

Meanwhile, component pieces would look like;

Am I afraid of going into work because I’m afraid of losing my job because of my behavior? (Out of control yelling). Or afraid of repeating that behavior / being out of control? Or afraid of embarrassment? (Facing people who saw me out of control). Or afraid of politics? (Knowing a supervisor wants me fired, and a manager doesn’t). Or afraid of being fired? Or...? Are these likely fears? If so, how do I take appropriate measures? (Like if it’s likely I’ll be fired, go ahead and start looking for new work now, rather than waiting a week to find out if I’m fired, and then starting to look). Or if it’s likely I’ll pop off on someone, again, if XYZ happens? Start planning out other ways to handle the situation. Including everything from calmly quitting, to deciding shouting them down would be completely worth it as long as I’m in control rather than out of control). If I’m embarrassed is that justified because I made an ass of myself? (And how do I go about setting that right?) Or did I handle things rightly? (And how to be secure in that).

It’s essentially figuring out my own boundaries, strengths/weaknesses, & (possible) courses of action when faced with different possibilities.

Afraid of having another outburst and embarrassed that others saw me out of control., and how they were affected or feel

 

[joeylittle]

nervous to do so

...but if it would help take the intensity down on your anxiety around returning, it would be a positive. Just based on how you've described it, I'd guess that the nervousness (about speaking with supervisor) is smaller than the double-fear you describe, here:

Now I am afraid to go to my place of work which is a retail warehouse, and more afraid to encounter the lead Sandy.

Sometimes - often, really - solutions to working through avoidance will come with some discomfort. What you're looking for is, "what's the level of discomfort (distress/stress) I believe I can manage?"

 

[Fayne Jane]

Thank you everyone this has helped!!!