Processing Rage

[talon]

Hi

Does anyone have any suggestion on this?

I am not referring to anger, but rage, the kind that wants to devastate and destroy

I do the punch bag gig but it's not enough, it is turning in

Was wondering about effigy or something art therapyish....

Thoughts welcome

rage is a very strong emotion when you feel so wronged that you want to lash out at the world and all its imperfections that just creates a continued cycle of rage and anger. If we allow rage to take control then we cannot function as we should and its unhealthy . We could rage at the starvation experienced by children daily or war that is a daily fear for many . Innocent children lives destroyed , painful existences which are all preventable . There are things that we can do to channel that rage for good fight injustice . I have campaigned for over 40 yrs and done much research to educate about child abuse to raise awareness of DID AND TO HOPEFULLY MAKE A DIFFERENCE in my own small way. Mindfulness might help especially sleeping . I CROSS MY ARMS OVER MY CHEST AND CONCENTRATE ON MY LIFE BREATH NOTHING MORE whilst listening to chill out music through headphones .One can train the mind to heal just as over time our bodies heal

 

[NatBird]

Thanks to those who have posted. To be clear I am not acting out my rage and this is the issue. I sense somehow this has got lost. The post was and still is about accessing and processing anger. It was not about uncontrollable rage or anger or acting out

As said above, the issue is the anger imploding and turning in, self harming. I welcome comments that are about externalising, not making judgements about feelings

I was recently assaulted, in a therapuetic context by a therapist. At the time I could have gone ape shit. The most I did was to go outside pick up a block of wood and throw it on the ground. This was after a very adult conversation confronting the person about their actions and then sharing this publicly with the group/school. This is a pretty 'controlled explosion' considering what I experienced

 

[Innordinate]

Let it out externally?
Running
screaming at the sky
intense exercise of any kind

reconnecting with the softer things in life... what do they call it? tree bathing.
walking barefoot on grass

my understanding is part of controlling feelings of rage is having a constant, reliable outlet- like pain and allergy management.... gotta stay one step ahead because its easier to manage before rather than getting control of it during.

 

[TruthSeeker]

@Justmehere -anger is on a spectrum.....rage is at the far end of the spectrum......anger and rage actually are synonyms according to Webster. If you modify the word angry to -intensely angry you have defined the word rage. Rage is not only a behavior....it too is a feeling.

You can show the behavior of anger (sulking, refusing to speak (passive anger), cussing, angry body language-facial expressions) and feel the feeling of anger . You can show the behavior of rage ( rage is a feeling is characterized by more violent acts, seeing "red" dissociating, breaking shit and taking off after someone with a weapon-just a few examples) and feel the feeling of rage because rage is just a more volatile angry emotion. IMHO, we as humans feel the feelings internally/display them externally and respond to these feelings..via behavior. These two words anger and rage fall on the same negative emotion spectrum of the broader word anger.
.

How do I process rage? I have to get it out......my anger I stuff.....and screaming at the walls doesn't do a thing. Getting the problem out and visible-does. This is what works for me..... I keep lined spiral notebooks around for just these situations......first I write it by hand....seeing it on paper I can tell all with every filthy word and awful detail-......and I get it out of my head. There are times that I've typed it....but that doesn't have the same impact as writing by hand. Sometimes I have written for hours....it is emotionally exhausting to put it on paper. I put the writing away, and come back to if after a couple of days. Then if that isn't enough, and I'm still looping back, I have written enough so that I draw it.....and I use color to help define it.........and put it with what I write.....then I imagine a box/container and put it back. If I want to keep it in the box, I get real active......and do something physically tiring (water aerobics, swimming, cleaning up an area that will make me feel good, something that is active and moving.....working outside, painting a fence.....
I get productive because anger/rage can screw up my whole day and I get nothing done....then that just fuels more anger........
I get it out......multiple ways if necessary......visualize putting it away with locks and chains around the container (it can't be opened unless I want it to be opened)......and physically distract using things that get the energy out of the body. Consider making a list of productive things to put on your fridge and promise yourself to do one of them after writing it all out......when rage hits....I need a action plan.....cause if you don't....it just makes you crazier and nonfunctional or more dysfunctional and impulsive.

 

[NatBird]

Rage is a behavior. Anger is an emotion. Anger and other emotions are not facts but they can sometimes carry important info. Anger is a sign that something we value is under threat or a boundary is crossed.

Fire can't generally be put out with fire. "Getting rage out" to get rid of it is a myth. It's a common one. Catharsis has been shown by numerous studies to increase anger. One study found that doing nothing at all was better at reducing anger. I tried a form of therapy that used catharsis... anger rooms, breaking things, etc. I left worse off. More pissed. More


self-injurious and kind of addicted to the high of the catharsis. My anger wasn't better expressed, managed, or processed. Breaking things in a controlled fashion can be a good way to get it in touch with anger, but not get rid of it. It's a good way to control an urge to rage but you may find the anger is still there at the end of it. That may or may not be a bad thing. It varies from person to person.

Anger can be a fuel for action and change. It has value. It can be a tool for good purposes. It's the behavior that can be the problem. Emotions are just body feelings. Separating out emotions and behavior and thoughts can make it easier to tackle. When anger is at a very high level, it can actually shut down thinking and problem solving, so regulating the anger down to a slightly lower level usually helps people DO something with it that helps it shift.

Your need for safety and boundaries was under threat. You are facing injustice. What about the opposite action of using
your voice instead of stuffing it? Not just with other people, but with yourself. One of the best ways I have used anger as a
tool is to reclaim my boundary that someone hurt me, and I will rebel against it by making sure I don't hurt me. It's like
my middle finger to the abuser to say, "NOPE, I have value asshats and I'm not doing that today!" Ok, I know it's a weird
way to handle trying to not turn the anger in towards destructive behaviors towards myself, but it sometimes works.
Sometimes it doesn't. When it does... it gives a rush of another kind. It feels POWERFUL.

Anger can be a sign we feel under threat, unsafe. Fight or flight. Because this is
linked to your safety, and you are dealing with on-going injustice, connecting to safety might help send a message to the brain that the immediate threat over and
while anger might be needed, but not levels of anger that are an impulse to rage. When I feel a lot of anger, I have found it helpful to check how safe I am
right now in the next 30 seconds. I will grab ice to hold or do other things to get connected to the right here right now present moment.

Anger is a tough one, and I am constantly learning myself. I hope you find what

works best for you! So sorry for the shitty injustice you have been facing.

Thank you for the useful distinction between rage and anger. I'm not a rager as I have been to scared to express anger at this level. Maybe going towards rage is letting me know my anger is at max...

Yes I innerstand the anger is letting me know a boundary has been crossed. This
one was obvious but they aren't always

Yes I also agree that catharsis doesn't
always work. There have been many times that the discharge of anger has helped the emotions underneath come through. In this instance its anger, betrayal, loss, anger, betrayal, few stages short of a version of a grief cycle

The 'rage' is hard to explain, I am wondering if it's the right word. It's this

fire inside me and in my jaw. It isn't doing much but I can feel it there in the background

I am working hard to speak up and out instead of stuffing the voice. I spoke up in the moment as I have done so many times and the outcome has been me being blamed and isolated for someone elses wrong actions. It's complicated by a history of having things stuffed in my mouth and being told if I told anyone I would be severely harmed. There is an aspect of me that fears the consequwnce of speech. To be clear, this does not stop me from speaking but there is often a massive fear and kickback and this time that has been 'stuffing'
I appreciate you 'seeing' that

Also it was helpful that you shared about using speaking up to say no to self abuse. I have been trying but the critic has been on max. I think I had some success with this yesterday

I am speaking up, its the fear of consequences that lead to stuffing. I am also doing practical things to have a voice . I sense rage is there because of the attempt to silence me and powerlessness that isn't real but nonetheless I'm flooded with as this echos other experiences. There's also rage at the fact that I have been traumatised, yet I am the one having to fight this on my own. I end up doing what I can when I can, this makes the process slow, and blood boil!

Thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts and experience

@Justmehere

 

[NatBird]

@Justmehere -anger is on a spectrum.....rage is at the far end of the spectrum......anger and rage actually are synonyms according to Webster. If you modify the word angry to -intensely angry you have defined the word rage. Rage is not only a behavior....it too is a feeling.

You can show the behavior of anger (sulking, refusing to speak (passive anger), cussing, angry body language-facial expressions) and feel the feeling of anger . You can show the behavior of rage ( rage is a feeling is characterized by more violent acts, seeing "red" dissociating, breaking shit and taking off after someone with a weapon-just a few examples) and feel the feeling of rage because rage is just a more volatile angry emotion. IMHO, we as humans feel the feelings internally/display them externally and respond to these feelings..via behavior. These two words anger and rage fall on the same negative emotion spectrum of the broader word anger.
.

How do I process rage? I have to get it out......my anger I stuff.....and screaming at the walls doesn't do a thing. Getting the problem out and visible-does. This is what works for me..... I keep lined spiral notebooks around for just these situations......first I write it by hand....seeing it on paper I can tell all with every filthy word and awful detail-......and I get it out of my head. There are times that I've typed it....but that doesn't have the same impact as writing by hand. Sometimes I have written for hours....it is emotionally exhausting to put it on paper. I put the writing away, and come back to if after a couple of days. Then if that isn't enough, and I'm still looping back, I have written enough so that I draw it.....and I use color to help define it.........and put it with what I write.....then I imagine a box/container and put it back. If I want to keep it in the box, I get real active......and do something physically tiring (water aerobics, swimming, cleaning up an area
that will make me feel good, something that is active and moving.....working outside, painting a fence.....
I get productive because anger/rage can
screw up my whole day and I get nothing done....then that just fuels more anger........
I get it out......multiple ways if

necessary......visualize putting it away with locks and chains around the container (it can't be opened unless I want it to be opened)......and physically distract

using things that get the energy out of the body. Consider making a list of productive
things to put on your fridge and promise yourself to do one of them after writing it all out......when rage hits....I need a action plan.....cause if you don't....it just makes you crazier and nonfunctional or more dysfunctional and impulsive.

Aaaaah Yes. That's what I was stumblng towards in the post to justme. The anger for me does feel like a feeling, a feeling of anger on MAX

Thanks for sharing about writing it and writing it and writing it and if that doesn't work drawing it etc
I write much and so have thought of his but have not done it. I think when I tried the anger seemed to just evaporate. A bit like when you turn your mind to a negative thought, it seems to close itself quickly back into the draw. This I find frustrating but maybe I can start with that spark of frustration!

Appreciate you re interating if it doesn't
get out it will be destructive. In my instance it is more clearly self destructive

Transmute it. Chanel it. Is what I am reading/receiving

Thanks for taking the time to write/sharw

 

[NatBird]

@grit
And thank you too. Apologies sit takes me so long to get back

You are right, it's important to remember I am not the assault, who I was before it happened. It is important, yet so hard to do when you have complex-PTSD there is a sense that the trauma is who you, no sense of who you were before. And yes I am still finding who that person is, the person underneath the muck and the shit. Yes, it is not who I am

Let it out externally?
Running
screaming at the sky
intense exercise of any kind

reconnecting with the softer things in life... what do they call it? tree bathing.
walking barefoot on grass

my understanding is part of controlling feelings of rage is having a constant, reliable outlet- like pain and allergy management.... gotta stay one step ahead because its easier to manage before rather than getting control of it during.

Thank you for pointing to the balance, connecting with the softer things, beauty, what's good. I do try. Thank you for the reminder and your response

rage is a very strong emotion when you feel so wronged that you want to lash out at the world and all its imperfections that just creates a continued cycle of rage and anger. If we allow rage to take control then we cannot function as we should and its unhealthy . We could rage at the starvation experienced by children daily or war that is a daily fear for many . Innocent children lives destroyed , painful existences which are all preventable . There are things that we can do to channel that rage for good fight injustice . I have campaigned for over 40 yrs and done much research to educate about child abuse to raise awareness of DID AND TO HOPEFULLY MAKE A DIFFERENCE in my own small way. Mindfulness might help especially sleeping . I CROSS MY ARMS OVER MY CHEST AND CONCENTRATE ON MY LIFE BREATH NOTHING MORE whilst listening to chill out music through headphones .One can train the mind to heal just as over time our bodies heal

so just to be clear I felt like your comment turned into a judgement about the emotion/state of rage and I didn't really find that helpful. This may not have been what you intended but it was how it was received and I guess the truth of it, whatever that is, is somewhere in between. I did hear you saying, and I could be wrong, -- harness it, do something useful with it but I felt like it came with some judgement that made it hard to fully receive. Either way, thanks for taking the time to offer your thoughts/experience

 

[katz]

Hi

Does anyone have any suggestion on this?

I am not referring to anger, but rage, the kind that wants to devastate and destroy

I do the punch bag gig but it's not enough, it is turning in

Was wondering about effigy or something art therapyish....

Thoughts welcome

I throw rocks out in the water. With all my might. Taking my anger out at the rock.

 

[NatBird]

Thanks folks

I managed to use some of my anger to start the arduous process of a grievance seeing as the organisation is dodging any accountability for the assault that took place, and trying to silence me

It's hard, I am on my own with this, the practical process, there is no service to support. It angers me that I am injured and also expected to be clear minded, level headed and chase after justice. There is something that feels dehumanizing about this and feeds into denial, denial of feeling and hurting, something I have been working so hard to get out of in my own process

I know I need to pursue accountability for me, and I see, thanks to some of your comments that this can be one way of processing some of the anger but there is still so much more of it

I also done a work out but that didn't really shift much, although I did feel that I could keep going and going and wondered how much that approach could just encourage me to be quite dissociated!

Each day as it comes. Thanks for your experience, suggestions and support

 

[katz]

Another suggestion that I was given was to write a letter to whom ever. Say anything you want to - anything. The idea is to get the anger and rage out of you. You don't deserve it and should not have it in you.

I even had a friend tell me to write a letter to God. She explained to me that "he can take it". He understands and will not judge you. (Just some other suggestions that I was given.)

Hey Grit,
It does and thank you so much for the detail you went into and encouraging me to be curious. I will try
Also, congratulating you on the work you have done and the place you have got yourself too. Respect

Part of the issue is there is no where to process the rage or place it. I was assaulted by a therapist during a training

session. The person is a friend of the person who was my therapist. Without going into detail there was clearly no therapuetic alliance. The group colluded. I was suspended for expressing my anger (throwing a piece of wood into the groud, not at anyone and did not break anything) and to this extent silenced. The school are trying to avoid being accountable. There is betrayal on so many levels here. I sense it feels hard to go into the rage because of the outcome expressing my anger or upset no matter how well articulated or controlled, now and back then has resulted in me being blamed, abandoned, isolated etc I definitely need help with this process

I'm so sorry that this happened to you. It should never have happened - much yet accepted. I went to a woman's rescue center for help - and was told "we can't help you." And then asked to leave.

It can hurt even more when the people who are supposed to help you, just hurt you more. I'm sorry. Be strong.

 

[Lionheart]

You have been given some good suggestions already and I hope you are finding something that is working well for you...

My t suggested that I first get my rage down to just anger because anger is (presumably) easier to deal with. She suggested I buy some yardsale dishes and take them somewhere and throw them against a wall (cleaning them up afterward of course.) I never did, but that's kind of beside the point.

She also said not to hit things when angry as then you are conditioning yourself to act out violently which is not always appropriate.

I tore up old phone books one page at a time, I cursed loudly, went for a drive rolled the windows and screamed at the top of my voice, I walked for miles, and anything else I could think of that was positive to do physically to process the adrenaline. I did this a little at a time and before I knew it the rage was down to anger and eventually the anger become smaller and more manageable.

 

[hithere]

I can't remember if I posted on this or not. However, I had a friend who asked me to "witness" her try and get in touch with her rage. The rage was there, but she didn't feel it. Instead it was all kinds of self-destructive and would mess up relationships big time. I had the same issues actually at the same time. What she did was get a bunch of eggs and we went out to a field/woods and she threw the eggs against a tree. She would yell trying to connect. I must say that she was getting connected and I wanted to laugh (but I did not) only because it was so out of character for her. She was a perfectionistic type and very meek and she was cussing up a storm and throwing eggs. It was just funny on a certain level. But--- effective.

How are you doing now? The topic was very interesting to me. However, what you went through in a training session sounds so traumatising. I am so astounded that people who are doing the "training" are so messed up. What the heck?