Don't reply to this message. It's a vent and I'm totally safe.
In the states of Alabama, Alaska, Arizona, California, Colorado, Connecticut, Florida, Georgia, Hawaii, Indiana, Kansas, Kentucky, Louisiana, Maine, Maryland, Massachusetts, Michigan, Mississippi, Missouri, Montana,[3] New Jersey, North Carolina, Ohio, Oklahoma, Oregon, Pennsylvania, Rhode Island, South Carolina, Tennessee, Texas, West Virginia, Washington, Wyoming and other Castle Doctrine states, there is no duty to retreat in certain situations (depending on the state, this may apply to one's home, business, or vehicle, or to any public place where a person is lawfully present). Preemptive self-defense, in which one kills another on suspicion that the victim might eventually become dangerous, is not justifiable.
Source:
Justifiable homicide - Wikipedia
I think this is worth noting. But obviously if it's planned, then it's "premeditated murder," and there's rarely a way a court would find that acceptable, right? I guess I could look up some court cases, but the problem is that if I'm doing well enough to look up court cases, that already shows that maybe I should be talking to my therapist instead? Not only that, but I think I'd be putting myself into danger for no reason. The other day I had to kill a moth because it was suffering (I refuse to describe what happened because it will waste room in this entry and I'm tired, but it was definitely suffering) and I swear it messed me up. A moth didn't try to text me asking about my mom AGAIN though, and when flies have become a nuisance, no one questions people for killing entire generations of them when they technically haven't done anything wrong. Not that I'm equating my dad with a fly. That's offensive to all flies.
I do not feel like talking about what happened yet. Maybe later. Long story short, he's STILL affecting my life and I want to move out of this stupid house. My mom and I got pretty mad at each other over it. She wants to stay here forever to prevent my dad from moving in. His parents might "give" it to him and she doesn't understand that he'd just lose it because he can't pay taxes. And also, he deserves a piece of shit house that is falling apart. I told her that I'm not letting my dad cause me to live somewhere shitty and also I plan to have a fireplace that works safely. She asked if she could visit. I said sure.
It doesn't matter yet, and yes therapy may or may not help, but technically we both made boundaries so if she manages to be able to take care of herself by then, then sure, have at it. But it would be much easier if my dad were dead. I hope he overdoses on heroin. I hope he gets ebola but is left in his little trailer house for days because no one looks for him when he goes "missing" and he succumbs to the disease. I wish he'd die of a heart attack and a stroke and leave me alone.
He also won't stop texting me to see what my mom's up to. He's texting my sister too. Stalking me on Facebook still, trying to get information. Still thinking he controls my mom EVEN THOUGH HE'S NOT EVEN A PART OF HER LIFE. Like, why do I need to be dealing with him all the time like this? Why can't he grow up, and why are his parents enabling this? I know they regret his birth, but the guilt from that doesn't matter. The dude's too stupid to understand that he's not the actual center of the
world universe.
And, he's killed people and STILL isn't in prison. He's done all kinds of great stuff. He's clearly planning on either remarrying my mom by tricking her, which he MIRACULOUSLY believes is possible, or coming by and killing us. Probably the only reason he hasn't is because he's not done flirting with my sister's husband -- who was also abused as a little kid by his dad so he's probably not going to ever want to talk to my dad.
It's just nuts. I don't get it. Let him have this damn house, he deserves for it to fall apart on his head and to become homeless.
He even moved back to this state, in this city. He could have chosen anywhere, but he's clearly come back for MY mom and he WONT LEAVE US ALONE and now my mom thinks she needs to live somewhere shitty to keep him from getting even half of what he wants. It's nuts. I get it, it's way too different from my philosophy on life for me to side with, but that's beside the point. I wish the law said I could make a little party to help me get rid of him now, because I am FULLY expecting a break in as soon as he realizes I'm not falling for it. I didn't reply to his last text that was designed to fish me in, so that's cool.
He is still being pretty nice at the moment, though. The law is there because I can't prove he's after anybody, and I could just be paranoid, for all anyone knows (or cares). But mainly I'm just annoyed that my mom wants to stay here in shitty house. Again, totally not my philosophy. Not my place to force others to accept my philosophy, even if I feel they need therapy. It's not my business, and frankly this may be easy to fix in some other way. (Not murder. I mean by working with my grandparents.) Besides, the laws are on our side. My dad legally cannot inherit the house because he can't pay the taxes on it -- mostly. And, no one can predict the future. Things usually work out fine. And at this point, I don't even know when I'll be moving out. So I'm trying not to worry about the little things yet.
But it makes me angry that my dad exists. He shouldn't.
At least in his puppy stage he has quit commenting on all my posts, and has stopped messaging my Facebook friends any time they comment on my posts. At least, no one has said anything about him messaging them. So he probably hasn't.
1/4 of women in the US have been in a domestic abuse situation. There ought to be more we can do to force nutty people like my dad to go to prison or something, because he is clearly not remorseful. I legit can't tell if he's trying to reconnect with me or cause me more problems.
/end rant, time for bed.
