Abandonment

[Pauline]

Hey guys here I am again... life just keeps throwing traumatic events at me! My mother has stage four anaplastic thyroid cancer we live in England she had to go to Florida to get extremely heavy treatment I have four siblings, I feel very overwhelmed, hurt and traumatised I am left in a big house by myself and my family (siblings) have not been at all pleasant I feel like I have had to rely on anyone else but my family I feel bery neglected by them I had a huge fight with my sister she yelled down the phone at me that my mother was dying and I should do everything by myself I hate living in the family house by myself so I am living with my aunt and uncle I am extremely hurt I just feel so abandoned by my siblings and they have been so unhelpful I have been on my own solidly for two months I am angry upset and confused as to how they are treating me I just didn't want to be own my own when my mother was going through cancer I know it's more about my mother but I am just so shaken by this event that none of them have been there to step up and have bothered to do anything about it especially my older sister she was the one who screamed at me down the phone telling me my mother is dying, on top of all that I still have the issues with my father and I am trying to manage myself harm I decided to go back to college to be productive and distracted because it's the only thing I know I excel at please can someone advise me I just feel so left X

 

[Friday]

I had a huge fight with my sister she yelled down the phone at me that my mother was dying and I should do everything by myse

Do you think what your sister said was fair? That you’re placing unreasonable demands on people who are also losing their mother?

Do you think you may be overreacting? The potential of losing your mother kicking in some Transferance where you want your siblings to step into a parental role and take care of you like you’re a child? Even though you’re an adult fully capable of taking care of yourself, and that’s not their job to be your parent (in addition to any children they may already have). Lashing out in anger at them, when it’s your mom that’s leaving, by dying?


ETA - I realize the above could look like a statement phrased as a question, but that’s not my intent. For all I know all/most/half/some of the above could be the complete opposite, or any number of yes/no/partly kinds of answers. It just didn’t make sense to assume when there are so many different possibilities and give my experience based on an incorrect assumption. Hence the ask.

 

[Pauline]

I agree with you I just don't know how to get out of my spiral it's just the situation and event I wish they were here with me I am probably putting to much pressure on them but they're my comfort and safety I know it's wrong but i can't deal with the fact of losing my mother I can't comprehend it so I focused on my attention on them I just want them around all the time and I'm not usually this needy even though I know they have to get on with their own life's too

 

[HisDaughter]

I am very sorry! Do you think you could meet with someone to talk about everything that is happening? You could use some counseling for healing and to cope.