Abandonment issues

[Theasylumsystem]

I have attachment and abandonment issues. I know this about me. I do. So why can I not logic away this feeling? I wasn't really even that into her. She moved on to someone else and she kept pushing my boundaries. So why can't I just let her go? Why is it hurting me so much that she's moving on? I literally spend so much time letting people treat me like garbage because I don't want to let them go. I hate this.

 

[Sideways]

So why can I not logic away this feeling?

It’s wired into us a survival instinct, yeah? Like, if this person abandons me, I may (literally) not survive that.

That’s intrinsic knowledge, wired from your trauma. We can’t logic our way out of it. We have to relearn. Teach ourselves, starting with learning how to feel safe again in any given moment.

 

[Movingforward10]

Argh, attachment wounds are so irrationally difficult to work through. I've worked through rape, but this attachment stuff seems harder than that. Which frustrates the hell out of me.
So I get how you feel about it.

I think it's because it's pre verbal trauma? Or trauma that started before comprehension so wired in our brains at a level that doesn't do logic and words and talking and thinking ourselves out of it. It takes something else. People say it's that somatic therapy, how we hold it in our body etc.
When you find the answer , do share on here! I haven't found the answer yet but continue to search and try.

 

[Wilderness Scout]

It’s wired into us a survival instinct, yeah? Like, if this person abandons me, I may (literally) not survive that.

That’s intrinsic knowledge, wired from your trauma. We can’t logic our way out of it. We have to relearn. Teach ourselves, starting with learning how to feel safe again in any given moment.

Friend. The Mind does not work the way you think it should. Spend time learning new Social and Emotional skills when you get caught in the Emotional Trap.of Emotional Dysregulation.