Relationship Relationship fears.

[Bunty]

Hi everyone..... I met a guy three months ago, we met and connected with each other both physically and mentally, he said that I made him feel alive and at peace, he was shocked at himself as he lowered his guard to me and that was something he didn’t do, both of us weren’t looking for anyone as we were both content on our own, he did say he had ptsd and had had it for 4.5 years, we messaged spoke on telephone for hours, met up and spent a day together I went to his house, everything was amazing, he said I understood him and he was even then looking towards the future. He was going away for a month but I was going out to see him, this didn’t happen for reasons out of both off our control, he came home but conversations and messages seemed distant,which then put me on my guard, I met with him and he was distant and looked sad, he was saying I’d want him to move in with me and stop him doing what he loved to do, I assured him I wouldn’t as I have children, he seemed without me saying or implying anything that that was what would happen. He also said his last relationship battered him, he still wears the ring he took off my thumb and says he’ll never give it back, he’s away again and although he hugged and kissed me goodbye I haven’t heard from him for 14 days even though he said he’d write me how he feels, I didn’t ask him too. I know he needs his processing time and I respect that and understand, he has spoken to me about small bits of his trauma but says he doesn’t want me to have nightmares, I feel so bad for causing him this turmoil and me as well, I’d like to just text him a smiley face but I don’t know wether it may upset/ trigger him to hear from me, or wether I should just leave him to contact or not contact me, anyone’s thoughts or experiences on any point would be very helpful, thank you.

 

[somerandomguy]

If you look through the Supporter section of these forums, you'll find that it's teeming with people whose partner with PTSD left them. There's even an article specifically about this: My ptsd partner left me - now what?

At less than three months old, your relationship was still incredibly new, and after two weeks of not hearing from him, my advice would be to just accept that it's over.

 

[Bunty]

If you look through the Supporter section of these forums, you'll find that it's teeming with people whose partner with PTSD left them. There's even an article specifically about this: My ptsd partner left me - now what?

At less than three months old, your relationship was still incredibly new, and after two weeks of not hearing from him, my advice would be to just accept that it's over.

Thank you for replying

 

[LuckiLee]

You say he leaves for a month at a time. Where does he go?

 

[Bunty]

You say he leaves for a month at a time. Where does he go?

He goes hiking on his own, he said when I first met him that putting his back pack on and going to the airport was what kept him sane, If I do message him he replies, but as I gather that is his way of coping I leave him in peace

 

[Justmehere]

, I feel so bad for causing him this turmoil and me as well,

You didn't cause it. PTSD and trauma did. Let go of any guilt for how he's feeling - it's undeserved.

Dating is about getting to know someone and seeing if you are the right fit for each other. He may not be able to sustain a steady relationship right now. It stinks. :(

 

[Bunty]

You didn't cause it. PTSD and trauma did. Let go of any guilt for how he's feeling - it's undeserved.

Dating is about getting to know someone and seeing if you are the right fit for each other. He may not be able to sustain a steady relationship right now. It stinks. :(

Thank you for your reply and yes it feels pretty bad at the moment ?