Exhaustion and Exposure therapy

[HannaD]

I've been making a plan to force myself to confront my shyness. I put myself in situations where I usually want to run away. I was doing okay until I heard someone else's microphone flick on. I nearly jumped out of my own skin.
Silly to be so reactive and yet it feels beyond my control. I'm trying not to pull away from others.
Now I feel exhausted. I'm so tired and achy that it's become a nuisance. I guess that means I did something right.

 

[Freida]

I've been making a plan to force myself to confront my shyness.

Baby steps. Exposure therapy is awesome, but there can be a tendency to try to do too much. Try breaking it down into little tasks and adding to them. Then you get a vitory each time. Like, say you want to go to a big meeting at an auditorium. Start by just walking to the front door, telling yourself you will talk to one person, and walk away. Then the next day open the door, tell yourself you will talk to one person, walk away. and so on....

I had to do something similar and thought it was idiotic to make it such small steps because I had always just white knuckled it before. But - it worked way better this way! Once I got into the place I was trying to overcome I had this huge foundation of success from baby steps so it ended up being a non event.

 

[HannaD]

I'm still taking baby steps here and made enough progress to not feel bad for choosing solitude. Before an invite would bring on an urge for being "normal", followed by anxiety then shame and guilt. Now I just think, "Not today, friend. I'd like to be alone for now."
On the part of confronting, I keep putting myself in the public domain to get used to being around others I don't know. I still haven't spoke to many but, am interacting. Helping more and just choosing to not use my mic. I figure that I'll talk when I get there. When I'm ready and no pressure. I'm doing good with just remaining present for now.