Changing Offices

[Skywatcher]

My therapy center had to give up half their building to stay afloat financially. This moved my T into an office on the other side of the building that now faces the parking lot instead of a private fence/tree. Though it is the same size, the door is on the other side. Everything is reversed. I’ve already had an extra appointment due to this. It really doesn’t feel right or safe. It triggers military deployment of my dad, as a kid. My T took me outside to show that no one can see in. We also went to the old office to say good-bye. I can’t seem to get over the door on the other side. My corner doesn’t feel right because she now sits on the left instead of right. The rug isn’t placed exactly the same. It’s like a warped view of the place I felt safe. I’m trying to adjust, but it is so hard. I feel stupid, but all of my 2.5 years of trust building are in the other room. I stored my trauma in that room. Any suggestions on how to adjust to this? (Also, she knows, we do talk about it, but I don’t want to drag this thing out)

 

[Teamwork]

I hear you. Mine renovated a building he purchased And moved out of the building I had seen him in for two years. It’s been close to two years since he did that and a long slow adjustment to it. There isn’t anything I did to speed it up. It was what it was. At first I hated it. Everything was changed and was new and was suddenly to his style and taste because he was no longer renting space. I can’t help other than to say eventually it became less of my focus and more of an acceptance that this was new, different and felt like a loss from the way things used to be. I didn’t move forward for a long time.

 

[Skywatcher]

Part of me feels weird that the interior is the same but backwards and off. I switched to the chair closest to the door to put her on my right or across from me again, but I lose the security of the corner. This office is warmer. The old office was always cold, so wrapping up in blankets or shawls made sense for both of us. I liked that. When I was a kid, I was always the biggest person in my family. Even when I was a perfectly healthy weight, I felt shame anytime I ate what I liked. So seeing her look like family is also hard. She is as tiny as my super critical grandmother. With shawls, sweaters and blankets, it works. In summer it will even be more of a problem because the window by the couch where she sits will get really hot.

When I went back a second time last week she was wearing a sweater/jacket thing that covered some of her tininess and I felt so much better. I don’t know how to tell her any of that or even if I should.

 

[TruthSeeker]

My therapy center had to give up half their building to stay afloat financially. This moved my T into an office on the other side of the building that now faces the parking lot instead of a private fence/tree. Though it is the same size, the door is on the other side. Everything is reversed. I’ve already had an extra appointment due to this. It really doesn’t feel right or safe. It triggers military deployment of my dad, as a kid. My T took me outside to show that no one can see in. We also went to the old office to say good-bye. I can’t seem to get over the door on the other side. My corner doesn’t feel right because she now sits on the left instead of right. The rug isn’t placed exactly the same. It’s like a warped view of the place I felt safe. I’m trying to adjust, but it is so hard. I feel stupid, but all of my 2.5 years of trust building are in the other room. I stored my trauma in that room. Any suggestions on how to adjust to this? (Also, she knows, we do talk about it, but I don’t want to drag this thing out)

Weird ideas....but they have been known to really help me, anyway....

Yeah...see if you can create the seat that you now sit in into a "power chair".......imagine that seat in your mind.....and it gives you energy....power....stability....or whatever power you need to feel safe. Maybe when you sit down in it, you are wearing a supersuit (like the incredibles-supersuits can be really effective as protection and added power and confidence.

If you are doing parts work, it will work best if you ask your parts what they need to be comfortable in the chair you are in. If there are younger parts with input.....they can pick the color and powers to download in the imaginary supersuit. Note....the other room did not have a power chair...no supernothing....it only had familiarity and words were spoken there. Find a way to make this room more positive to yourself..ves..Maybe you can take a picture or some need phrase and tack it up on the other side of the room.....a reminder that you have power in this room and it is safe. Identifying with the part of you that is like.....having an issue with change and a struggle with safety.....and give it a supersuit...it's a self-headgame but these things work for me and help.....when a part of me needs to feel more powerful. A supersuit is one way not to feel so alone and powerless.

I have a spirit guide...eagle. So, I wear an eagle jacket.....the eagle is around me and the jacket keeps me warm....it gives me comfort. A special shirt that has meaning and makes you feel more powerful/comfortable....... or jacket that makes you feel more powerful is a more tangible option. I wore an invisible supersuit to court recently (had that on in my head).....and that visualization really did help me to quell the anxiety and feel more powerful and confident. Good luck....this might require you to check in and use your imagination. oh, and if you come up with the idea to help you feel more comfortable....as opposed to talking it out.....in my experience....ideas I devise, regardless of how silly or odd they may seem to someone else...the imagination is a wonderful thing and nobody else can see our ingenius problem-solving techniques but us. You could get quite creative with this imagery that will bring you safety, power, and energy.

 

[Skywatcher]

@TruthSeeker that is a good idea! A friend of mine once told me that we wears imaginary wonder woman deflector bands while out in the world to shield him from peoples comments. He had sound effects as well. I do emdr which definitely involves imagination. I have a dragon for my younger parts. I thought about trying the couch. She likes to put the papers to her left, so if I go on the couch we may be directly across from each other in the corners of the room.

 

[TruthSeeker]

Oh yeah....you know your younger parts would have a blast painting a dragon on a sweatshirt or picking out something protective on Amazon.........oh yeah, you got this one! Imagine the couch differently than it is.....but the seat of power.....really helps me with feeling empowered......more confident.....safe. Good luck! ?

 

[Friday]

The sudden awareness that the place itself is bullshit... it’s the person themselves that matters... can be a reeeeeally uncomfortable one, if you’re associating things that don’t matter to help create distance between you and what does matter.

Not that avoidance & making the wrong associations are hallmark of PTSD or anything ;)