Sufferer New and very anxious - Childhood trauma, teenage rape, ongoing SI, & being bullied at work is bringing it all up.

[GrayOwl]

You'll find more support here than you could imagine. Welcome.
I've dealt with workplace trauma and bullying. It's very real and traumatic.
I've found lots of good resources that have helped me survive and recover.
Workplace bullying has incredible triggering potential. Please be careful.
I'll try to get back with some more info shortly when I have more time.
It's nice that you are here.
Feel free to read and take what you want.
And post only when you are comfortable.
Welcome.

 

[osiris]

Thanks everyone for kind replies and welcome. Still feeling super anxious. Not sure that ever goes away and I don't even feel like I deserve support. Total cliche. My head isn't in a great space really!

 

[EveHarrington]

Welcome!

 

[LuckiLee]

Welcome to the forums. Glad you found us!

 

[Deanna]

Welcome to the forums! Everyone here has been a newbie. Workplace bullying is no joke and I have been there. I changed jobs. ( it wasn't the best, ideal situation. But, it carried me through another few decades)

 

[pam4him]

Welcome osiris! Yes, exposing ourselves can be scary, but here's the cool thing about doing it here - we don't really know who you are. There's usually no judgment, just a safe place to share and find support. Go at your own pace and only share what you feel comfortable with. Prayers for peace and wisdom.

 

[osiris]

I've got to work out whereabouts to post things now, I can't imagine introduction threads are supposes to be like this. I am regretting starting therapy again. I am definitely regretting EMDR as I did not understand just how freaking hardcore it was going to be. If I could time travel a few weeks and stuff all the words and thoughts back into my head and never share them that would be preferable to feeling like this. Today I am running on completely empty, and I could quite happily drown in a pool of self pity. My rational brain knows things will get better, but right this second I could do with a magic wand!

 

[bellbird]

I've got to work out whereabouts to post things now

Options!
You could start a Dead Link Removed, which is great for your own wandering thoughts on, well, whatever you need to use it for.
Or you could start a thread, in one of the sub-forums, on a specific topic.
Or! if you're not sure (about where to post, or anything site-related) you can contact staff to ask them a question (you'll find that link to 'Contact us' on the footer of every forum page, too :tup: )

 

[shatter eyes]

Thanks @bellbird
I have been trying to cope with an online crisis chat, but to keep going back to the same questions each time is even more stressful than speaking in the first place.
I feel ridiculous being so anxious. Just started therapy a few weeks ago and felt this sick over that too. Trying to get better feels like its more painful than staying the way I was right now. Rock and hard place I guess...

Welcome welcome. You taking the step to read content or even searching online is a healthy step in the right direction. Things do get better. It may not be easy and symptoms can catch us by surprise too. May you make many friends here and support you along on your journey so it is less lonely.

I very much appreciate your honesty and sharing that your new and scared to post. Oh...and I stopped monitoring my heartrate when anxious it made things worse and messed with my head like I will have a heart attack bcuz the bpm kept going higher. How does someone get 218bpm while sitting and breathing??

Welcome ?

 

[osiris]

Welcome welcome.

May you make many friends here and support you along on your journey so it is less lonely.

I very much appreciate your honesty and sharing that your new and scared to post.

Thanks :)
I am still pretty anxious, mainly that I’m pissing people off by talking too much and repeating myself, and being rather pathetic a lot of the time ;) But people here have been forgiving and listened. Found it at the right time for sure.