Also, quick question: is hypersexuality normal after sexual abuse??
Yep. It’s one of the two (or three) most common reactions to sexual assault;
- hypersexual &/or promiscuous
- sexually anorexic (as opposed to simply hyposexual or lowered libido to nonexistant sex drive... finding any or all sexual acts disgusting / wrong / vile)
- an unpredictable combo of the 2
Regardless of whether someone goes onto develop PTSD -or any other disorder- those are the most normal & common reactions that people have to sexual assault. It’s actually pretty durn rare or there to be no effect... most people head to opposite sides of the spectrum... or ricochet back and forth between them.
I went with the first one. Not by choice, it’s just what happened. And continued to happen // every time I’ve been raped my libido kicks into
massive overdrive... for about 6 months.
For myself, I’ve deconstructed most of the pieces that goes into that over the years. Other people who are hypersexual often have very different pieces, the following are simply mine. The two biggest pieces are; replacing every bad memory with 1,000 good memories & that almost nothing else I can think of is
less like rape than sex. (Like drinking icy cold refreshing water on a hot day? There’s not much out there that’s less like drinking boiling oil, or poison, or drain cleaner. Polar opposite experiences. Even if some of the mechanics are the same). :D Loooooove sex. One of the very best parts of life. Other pieces that snick into place are; serious control issues, connecting with someone else, the grounding aspect of it (the constant interplay between partners/ being right here right now), huge stress release / relief / stress management tool, phenom exercise, the ability to “play” with different emotions, reacquiring my faith in mankind, relearning to trust my own judgement, my sense of self, and massive chemical reboot... orgasm(s) or no. Bliss.
That doesn’t mean I didn’t have nightmares, panic attacks, anxiety attacks, and triggers galore. Absolutely did :wtf: Nor that fairly straightforward sexual trauma didn’t get complicated as f*ck by other traumas & complex situations happening at the same time or in&around the same time. Like abuse, betrayal, abandonment, imprionsment, combat, torture, death, domestic violence, starvation, drugs, sleep dep, injuries, relationships, grief, loss, guilt, shame, <waves hand around in the air vaguely> ‘n other stuff. Nor that being hypersexual doesn’t have its own series of challenges/problems. Alas/mores the pity. ;) It would be nice, sure, just not the way it works. <<< I’m mentioning this because a lot of people -both those who have been sexually assaulted but headed towards the revulsion end of the spectrum, and those who have never been sexually assaulted- often seem to think that if a person likes, enjoys, or seeks out sex (whether they like it or not, and hyper-sexuality can also come about as a form of self punishment... like I said, people have different pieces ), there must be no other problems! Nope. Problems are independent of libido & revel/repulsion.
