D
Deleted member 93
I was busting my ass with the school. I just came to brick walls. I needed hubs to help and sure he would have if he had known how but it got too far. Even tried to get local media involved.
I have do not know how with this as you heal you do not break down over and over.
She accused me again of lying about her dad?????? WTF? She hates me, so what is new? During this shit!!!!
I left her alone with the guard dog since the toddler was asleep to go grab teen boy. I left her my cell phone. Said if anything or anyone showed up to call 911. Told her don't care if it is flipping the "real Santa" dial 911. She was home as we “boycotted “ school.
I go in town to grab teen son and decide to be nice and send son in to grab snacks real fast at quickie mart... Rush home. She wasn't expecting me, as my boys gets out about an hour apart. I took the teen home first and in the drive way I stayed. Sent him in to grab my cell since he is home now. I leave to go back in town to get the younger boy.
Wait in line for the other boy and look through my call history and saw a call went out to hubs while gone. So I call him to find out why she called him. He said he had no idea that she claimed he called her and was calling back. She was covering her tracks as my new phone is confusing as hell and she tried to cover last call dialed… Her f*ing father…
Pissed was not a way to describe it. Ripping out my heart closer. Shit and to think I was the “tin man“.
I had been telling her we will figure out a way to fight this. Teen boy pops in just take your schedule change, I told him to shut the hell up, she does not want to or deserve it. And I will be damned if I teach my girl she can be steam rolled, if women were not taught to fight then we still would not have “equal” rights.
I made it clear I would fight this with her and be by her (even though she acted like a shithead.) I did and was trying to do what she wanted .
But when I got home and asked her do you mind telling me what this is about? More I am a liar. “Daddy” never did that to you, this is your fault, I want to live with him I don’t want to be here… Y’all can see where the fight is going.
About that time I heard it snap. My mind. I swear I almost beat the hell out of her. Did not lay a finger or blow, it was more of an implosion. Violent inward collapse is the best description.
I said calmly is this what you really want and believe? Yep. I said fine… Called hubs and said pick up a nice new luggage set.
She was beyond thrilled. Loaded up her aquarium, TV, stereo, mini fridge, mini water cooler, all her shit she wanted from her room, her expensive shabby chic décor … She acted shocked I let her. I told her over and over I loved her and I was not lying about that or her dad. And part of loving her was certainly not making her leave with clothes on her back. These were things I gave her. They are hers.
The part that made me so ill she picked through her other things, our life together, and decided she did not want gifts I got her that were sentimental or from our vacations. “Not good enough” or “he will buy me what I want” like a snob. She sorted through her things and treated it as if it was all worthless shit and took the “really cool stuff“. Packed all the clothes she deemed suitable for her and left the rest. Whatever. I neatly folded and packed them in her new luggage set.
I have huge plastic tubs that when the kids make me something or there is something important from a milestone I place it in them. We all call it here my mommy boxes. Those things will be placed there.
I called her dad back with the number on my phone from her call after talking to her. I told him let’s make a deal… She wants there. Fine, so be it, I give up. BUT I am moving out of state and no going to the courts for it. Stay the f* out of my life. Do not come near me or my other teen. I said I will not give up my custody so he knows I can yank her ass right back if he jacks with me. I said in exchange of not trying to take me to court I won’t have them enforce the $100,000 past due. I am to have all info on her at all times, all numbers and addresses (like I don’t, he just does not know I do). He agreed. So I can send gifts and cards, she wants nothing to do with me at this point. (I am an evil liar in her eyes) But he says we will both get in trouble if you take me to court. I told him no shit, but it will be your ass in prison, not me. End of talk and told him to be there at a set time. Ex came over to stay with me until hubs came home and still would not give me my guns back… grumble.
My hubs and the ex that raised her (one I forgave) told me this was coming and she has been in contact, I was dumb if I did not get that. She was getting ready to runaway and I was on a fast track to be put in a mental hospital over they way she treated me. I did what I had to. Both were consoling me saying I was going to hit a point of lose her or lose all 4. Just in my head I feel like I gave her up and moms are not supposed to do that.
I typed up all info and paper trial from school and gave it to hubs. Had hubs deal with the ex. And assist in loading her things.
We have 6 months max left in the account to afford to keep our heads above water pointed out to me and I have to sell my farm. We will move to be by his mom who can care for me and the kids when needed and give me breaks. Promised I could keep needed breeders to start over and we will find me another farm. Other ex (forgiven one) said he would fly him and my son out at least a couple times a month and for holidays and summer to visit.
I was just in shock and have been s sick, I am so angry and my heart is broken and I can’t help but blame myself. I could feel the total shutdown coming. No money for lawyers and hubs can’t make money staying with me when I cannot do for myself or baby.
The hardest part was her siblings crying over her leaving and her just looking at them with hate, no hugs. I held her and told her I loved her. Her body was just limp and acted like just get away from me. She gleefully bounced to her dad out the door. No hugs, no it will be OK, I will see you… Nothing to her siblings.
I needed to feel something beyond heart break. I told hubs to take me to a parlor. I had my bad ink job fixed on my back. It was hard as he said the guy fried the job. But he fixes bad jobs… 3 & ½ a half hours later a beautiful piece of art. It goes from hip to hip on my lower back. Bigass tattoo. But he fixed it except for a couple tiny areas the other guy messed beyond repair. Had he tribal filled in. The tat was my tribute to motherhood. Their birth signs there he added to really gave them punch and they stand out beautifully.
I tat to unwind and what a better one to work on? And ironic. He is going to spend the month of healing to see where it needs to be touched up to work on sketches to see how to bring all my tats together and complete the belt. Belly button to tail bone took photos to have it there to work on. He said he liked working on me, I did not whine, wiggle, or cry. He did wake me at one point to work on the edge of the hip area. He got a kick out of it as he said he zones out and naps during his.
I told him what I had PTSD. (Think of being in a private room with your hair dresser for ladies, you tell them your shit) I said I have had an image in my head I want to represent that condition and how I feel but need it designed. His favorite part, as he hates tribal as no imagination, but pays the bills. A nude woman bound with chains on her knees and head hung low with long dark red hair falling down. PTSD in my head and would be my only color added to the work. And tats, well they reflect you, no one else has to get it but he seemed to really get it and excited to do it.
Trying to not break down but I felt like my hands were tied and no choice. Sometimes you have to let go I suppose… But I just want to curl up and die failing with her.
Going to go lay back down…
I have do not know how with this as you heal you do not break down over and over.
She accused me again of lying about her dad?????? WTF? She hates me, so what is new? During this shit!!!!
I left her alone with the guard dog since the toddler was asleep to go grab teen boy. I left her my cell phone. Said if anything or anyone showed up to call 911. Told her don't care if it is flipping the "real Santa" dial 911. She was home as we “boycotted “ school.
I go in town to grab teen son and decide to be nice and send son in to grab snacks real fast at quickie mart... Rush home. She wasn't expecting me, as my boys gets out about an hour apart. I took the teen home first and in the drive way I stayed. Sent him in to grab my cell since he is home now. I leave to go back in town to get the younger boy.
Wait in line for the other boy and look through my call history and saw a call went out to hubs while gone. So I call him to find out why she called him. He said he had no idea that she claimed he called her and was calling back. She was covering her tracks as my new phone is confusing as hell and she tried to cover last call dialed… Her f*ing father…
Pissed was not a way to describe it. Ripping out my heart closer. Shit and to think I was the “tin man“.
I had been telling her we will figure out a way to fight this. Teen boy pops in just take your schedule change, I told him to shut the hell up, she does not want to or deserve it. And I will be damned if I teach my girl she can be steam rolled, if women were not taught to fight then we still would not have “equal” rights.
I made it clear I would fight this with her and be by her (even though she acted like a shithead.) I did and was trying to do what she wanted .
But when I got home and asked her do you mind telling me what this is about? More I am a liar. “Daddy” never did that to you, this is your fault, I want to live with him I don’t want to be here… Y’all can see where the fight is going.
About that time I heard it snap. My mind. I swear I almost beat the hell out of her. Did not lay a finger or blow, it was more of an implosion. Violent inward collapse is the best description.
I said calmly is this what you really want and believe? Yep. I said fine… Called hubs and said pick up a nice new luggage set.
She was beyond thrilled. Loaded up her aquarium, TV, stereo, mini fridge, mini water cooler, all her shit she wanted from her room, her expensive shabby chic décor … She acted shocked I let her. I told her over and over I loved her and I was not lying about that or her dad. And part of loving her was certainly not making her leave with clothes on her back. These were things I gave her. They are hers.
The part that made me so ill she picked through her other things, our life together, and decided she did not want gifts I got her that were sentimental or from our vacations. “Not good enough” or “he will buy me what I want” like a snob. She sorted through her things and treated it as if it was all worthless shit and took the “really cool stuff“. Packed all the clothes she deemed suitable for her and left the rest. Whatever. I neatly folded and packed them in her new luggage set.
I have huge plastic tubs that when the kids make me something or there is something important from a milestone I place it in them. We all call it here my mommy boxes. Those things will be placed there.
I called her dad back with the number on my phone from her call after talking to her. I told him let’s make a deal… She wants there. Fine, so be it, I give up. BUT I am moving out of state and no going to the courts for it. Stay the f* out of my life. Do not come near me or my other teen. I said I will not give up my custody so he knows I can yank her ass right back if he jacks with me. I said in exchange of not trying to take me to court I won’t have them enforce the $100,000 past due. I am to have all info on her at all times, all numbers and addresses (like I don’t, he just does not know I do). He agreed. So I can send gifts and cards, she wants nothing to do with me at this point. (I am an evil liar in her eyes) But he says we will both get in trouble if you take me to court. I told him no shit, but it will be your ass in prison, not me. End of talk and told him to be there at a set time. Ex came over to stay with me until hubs came home and still would not give me my guns back… grumble.
My hubs and the ex that raised her (one I forgave) told me this was coming and she has been in contact, I was dumb if I did not get that. She was getting ready to runaway and I was on a fast track to be put in a mental hospital over they way she treated me. I did what I had to. Both were consoling me saying I was going to hit a point of lose her or lose all 4. Just in my head I feel like I gave her up and moms are not supposed to do that.
I typed up all info and paper trial from school and gave it to hubs. Had hubs deal with the ex. And assist in loading her things.
We have 6 months max left in the account to afford to keep our heads above water pointed out to me and I have to sell my farm. We will move to be by his mom who can care for me and the kids when needed and give me breaks. Promised I could keep needed breeders to start over and we will find me another farm. Other ex (forgiven one) said he would fly him and my son out at least a couple times a month and for holidays and summer to visit.
I was just in shock and have been s sick, I am so angry and my heart is broken and I can’t help but blame myself. I could feel the total shutdown coming. No money for lawyers and hubs can’t make money staying with me when I cannot do for myself or baby.
The hardest part was her siblings crying over her leaving and her just looking at them with hate, no hugs. I held her and told her I loved her. Her body was just limp and acted like just get away from me. She gleefully bounced to her dad out the door. No hugs, no it will be OK, I will see you… Nothing to her siblings.
I needed to feel something beyond heart break. I told hubs to take me to a parlor. I had my bad ink job fixed on my back. It was hard as he said the guy fried the job. But he fixes bad jobs… 3 & ½ a half hours later a beautiful piece of art. It goes from hip to hip on my lower back. Bigass tattoo. But he fixed it except for a couple tiny areas the other guy messed beyond repair. Had he tribal filled in. The tat was my tribute to motherhood. Their birth signs there he added to really gave them punch and they stand out beautifully.
I tat to unwind and what a better one to work on? And ironic. He is going to spend the month of healing to see where it needs to be touched up to work on sketches to see how to bring all my tats together and complete the belt. Belly button to tail bone took photos to have it there to work on. He said he liked working on me, I did not whine, wiggle, or cry. He did wake me at one point to work on the edge of the hip area. He got a kick out of it as he said he zones out and naps during his.
I told him what I had PTSD. (Think of being in a private room with your hair dresser for ladies, you tell them your shit) I said I have had an image in my head I want to represent that condition and how I feel but need it designed. His favorite part, as he hates tribal as no imagination, but pays the bills. A nude woman bound with chains on her knees and head hung low with long dark red hair falling down. PTSD in my head and would be my only color added to the work. And tats, well they reflect you, no one else has to get it but he seemed to really get it and excited to do it.
Trying to not break down but I felt like my hands were tied and no choice. Sometimes you have to let go I suppose… But I just want to curl up and die failing with her.
Going to go lay back down…
