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Freeze Response (Dissociative Defense)

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There is a lot of useful information here. I have two different ways of seeing this:

one I do dissociate in therapy still and I do let it go to observe it and recognize it and learn while I am in that safe space.
If I am dissociated at work, it manifested as distraction so I may google or convince myself I can finish that much better later but in all fairness, I consider this minor or would have lost jobs but it is a recognition.

The other is more complicated . I do not consider dissociation as a bad thing. Because I am not particularly in pain (physical), I consider it the result of violence against me for so long so it is like I lost an eye and get used to it. I feel as though it is impossible to be abused that much and not have a residue or lasting scar so I accepted. Maybe this is why I can let it go in therapy cause it allows me to be calm and observe.

It is very easy for me to see the fight or flight and I did not develop fawn but and I can see why the freeze stayed under my radar cause I was not really freezing as an adult just manifesting the offline behaviour some other ways.

my genesis were something like this: I do not space out. cause I did not know what that was.
oooh I feel offline like in a fog. is this dissociation?
and oooh this must be dissociation
OK I am going to become acquainted this side of me and be curious to see how in the hell I did not see it before and boom...I realize it is a wall between my everyday and my trauma parts.
Now I am more compassionate and nurturing so I can go between easily when I am in therapy to gain more insight and integrate. It is only about 20 min or so oscillation between couple parts while I am mainly observing...
I also notice as a side affect, it is barrier to my creativity;hence, why I am keen on being understanding of it so I can be gentle with that level of observing my psyche.

Not sure if this makes sense at all cause I have not written down yet fully but this is my take.
From where I am today I love the gentleness of this response, and the clarity of seeing it. Thanks.

**I agree...there IS a lot of good info here. And...oops...can't yet figure out how to delete the first post that wasn't quite finished! sorry...new format to me.
 
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I feel like I'm making progressing more in recent years, I've started yoga and used to be in a choir pre covid. I found the quality of my breath has changed considerably and my core is stronger so I feel more supported internally. Learning to be in my body has been hard work as I used to have an ED and sometimes find I have to remember to eat or drink because I'm not picking up on the cues.

I found a took a massive step forward when my therapy sessions moved from a clinical setting to a more relaxed space in my therapist's garden. There's something about hospitals/clinics that would shut down access to parts that I feel I'm now able to show and have never felt comfortable enough to communicate.

Reading and talking about it has also helped. I was really surprised that there was this huge part of my illness which felt like no-one was talking about only to discover it's something I share with others. That connection in disconnection has really helped.
 
I found a took a massive step forward when my therapy sessions moved from a clinical setting to a more relaxed space in my therapist's garden. There's something about hospitals/clinics that would shut down access to parts that I feel I'm now able to show and have never felt comfortable enough to communicate.
I hadn't thought of this but it is brilliant. Set and setting and how they affect different parts. Thank you for this.
 
A really excellent resource was given to is by PTSD treatment team. It helps you come back to this moment / become un stick from whatever dissociation or unhelpful thoughts or flashback or whatnot.

It's based on acceptance and commitment therapy. You can listen to the exercise free here. There is different length versions from 40 seconds to 11 minutes.
 
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