OakTree123
Learning
Hey everyone,
I recently realized that when I was abused I would dissociate. I had episodes where I would feel like I was in a dream even though I knew what was happening was real. I would dissociate at random times too, like if I was just walking through a grocery store. Most recently, I realized that I used to think of myself in third person. When I got older (like high school age) I knew that was abnormal, and I would try to make myself think of me in first person. Now that I've moved out, I never think of myself in third person, only first. I don't exactly know when the switch was made but it wasn't a conscious one. Has anyone else heard of this or experienced this?
Now that I'm in therapy, I feel like I have been having a new dissociative experience? It might not even be dissociation, but I'm not sure how else I would explain it. Hopefully this makes sense... I feel like I'm emotionally numb throughout the day. But it's like I know that deep down I'm having bad feelings. I'm just unable to acknowledge them or name them or dredge them up. It's like I'm ignoring my feelings and I know that but I'm still unable to access them.
What's weird is that anytime I watch TV or a movie or read a book I get really upset when something bad happens to the characters. The slightest bit of negative emotion I see someone else feeling makes me feel really sad and I cannot stop crying. (Like I seriously cried over an episode of Catfish???? ...I don't know, man.) So I haven't been watching TV or anything. Again, I don't really know if this has anything to do with dissociation. I feel like I'm unable to feel my own emotions right now but I have an abnormal amount of empathy for others. Has anyone else experienced something like this? I have never had this experience before.
I recently realized that when I was abused I would dissociate. I had episodes where I would feel like I was in a dream even though I knew what was happening was real. I would dissociate at random times too, like if I was just walking through a grocery store. Most recently, I realized that I used to think of myself in third person. When I got older (like high school age) I knew that was abnormal, and I would try to make myself think of me in first person. Now that I've moved out, I never think of myself in third person, only first. I don't exactly know when the switch was made but it wasn't a conscious one. Has anyone else heard of this or experienced this?
Now that I'm in therapy, I feel like I have been having a new dissociative experience? It might not even be dissociation, but I'm not sure how else I would explain it. Hopefully this makes sense... I feel like I'm emotionally numb throughout the day. But it's like I know that deep down I'm having bad feelings. I'm just unable to acknowledge them or name them or dredge them up. It's like I'm ignoring my feelings and I know that but I'm still unable to access them.
What's weird is that anytime I watch TV or a movie or read a book I get really upset when something bad happens to the characters. The slightest bit of negative emotion I see someone else feeling makes me feel really sad and I cannot stop crying. (Like I seriously cried over an episode of Catfish???? ...I don't know, man.) So I haven't been watching TV or anything. Again, I don't really know if this has anything to do with dissociation. I feel like I'm unable to feel my own emotions right now but I have an abnormal amount of empathy for others. Has anyone else experienced something like this? I have never had this experience before.