Whirlwind
MyPTSD Pro
Things are going well, moving forward and I have joined some clubs, volunteer etc.
Cutting to the chase I am taken aback by the behavior of men I am encountering. Retired professionals, etc. seemingly healthy folks and they must be? I don't think I am overreacting but I am floored.
I know why I got into my former disaster but I got myself out and built my life today to avoid my former mistakes. Today is easier too, I have no interest in dating, I just want friends and a life again.
Maybe I am just seeing the world how it is, normal? Or it crossed my mind recently, is my past somehow imprinted on me, and others can sense it?
The weird thing is I am socially skilled and if anything I am guarded, always have been. But I present decent I even spoke publicly for the first time in 20 yrs. I can't even believe I could still do it. It wasn't a big deal but for me...I was so very happy deep down knowing some of "me" survived.
But I have had too many situations lately to not recognize a pattern. It is bothering me and making me feel very wary of men and I don't want to be jaded but all of this is driving me that direction. The thing is I am not engaging them outside of normal courtesy and "shop talk" in groups etc. No one on one personal type engagements. Except for a young man, LOL he is nice kid. I've met some women and that has been nice, they are younger for the most part but again, I enjoy our interactions and it is nice to hear hello's when I walk in and they tell me about their world which is fun.
I want a new life, I want friends and to be comfortable in the world so I realize I need to get some perspective on this and I would appreciate some feedback.
Thank you,
Whirlwind
Cutting to the chase I am taken aback by the behavior of men I am encountering. Retired professionals, etc. seemingly healthy folks and they must be? I don't think I am overreacting but I am floored.
I know why I got into my former disaster but I got myself out and built my life today to avoid my former mistakes. Today is easier too, I have no interest in dating, I just want friends and a life again.
Maybe I am just seeing the world how it is, normal? Or it crossed my mind recently, is my past somehow imprinted on me, and others can sense it?
The weird thing is I am socially skilled and if anything I am guarded, always have been. But I present decent I even spoke publicly for the first time in 20 yrs. I can't even believe I could still do it. It wasn't a big deal but for me...I was so very happy deep down knowing some of "me" survived.
But I have had too many situations lately to not recognize a pattern. It is bothering me and making me feel very wary of men and I don't want to be jaded but all of this is driving me that direction. The thing is I am not engaging them outside of normal courtesy and "shop talk" in groups etc. No one on one personal type engagements. Except for a young man, LOL he is nice kid. I've met some women and that has been nice, they are younger for the most part but again, I enjoy our interactions and it is nice to hear hello's when I walk in and they tell me about their world which is fun.
I want a new life, I want friends and to be comfortable in the world so I realize I need to get some perspective on this and I would appreciate some feedback.
Thank you,
Whirlwind