lostforgottensoul
MyPTSD Pro
Hey all, long time since I've posted a separate thread. My therapist and I was talking about my parts or alters. I have 4 distinct alters (or I call them parts). They hold a lot of memories and they hide them from me. I can feel the memories and experience them but can't remember them, if that makes sense.
We were talking about regressing and this last trigger causing my protective part (which has had a very strong hold, if you will, through this pandemic) to go into the background and my youngest part to front or come into the foreground and the issues with that. I literally think like a child, act like a child, have tantrums like a child, talk like a child, they just don't take full control.
I am diagnosed with OSDD (formally DDNOS) but it is a newer diagnosis (a few years ago) and other then talking about my parts and giving them space in therapy to express themselves and my therapist encouraging me to allow them to express themselves when writing or typing, we really haven't done much work with them specifically in therapy. But I was expressing frustration with the gaps in memory but still feeling and experiencing the memory (it's quite frustrating experiencing something you can't remember. You can't really make heads or tails from it) and my regression lately (which I won't talk about but it is something I want to stop doing).
Anyway, I thought about EMDR. My therapist said we can do EMDR with my parts. It's an interesting but frightening thought at the same time. I'm intrigued though. I expressed concern that my protector part may sort of say no and hold that line and not make anything accessible to me, as my protector part usually does, and he mentioned that we could express to the protector that this is a good thing for us and they could help out.
I'm wondering if this is something we will have to wait until we are in person to do. It is very hard for me to feel safe enough to do EMDR if my therapist isn't in the same room. It takes a super long time for me to feel safe enough with my therapist in his office. He said he has done a few over video and it's worked but knowing me and my parts, I don't think it will work for me. That said, I wanted to hear if anyone has any experience with EMDR with parts or alters (including those with DID) and what it was like. Is there anything I can do to help the process and basically what to expect when we actually get to do it. My therapist and I have only been doing a very tiny bit of EMDR since my first and really bad experience. We call it EMDR light. Not about my trauma but more today stuff. So I'm worried about going that deep as that's going much deeper then the first time we did EMDR. Or even if my parts will allow it or how to get them to allow it, if that makes sense.
Any thoughts?
We were talking about regressing and this last trigger causing my protective part (which has had a very strong hold, if you will, through this pandemic) to go into the background and my youngest part to front or come into the foreground and the issues with that. I literally think like a child, act like a child, have tantrums like a child, talk like a child, they just don't take full control.
I am diagnosed with OSDD (formally DDNOS) but it is a newer diagnosis (a few years ago) and other then talking about my parts and giving them space in therapy to express themselves and my therapist encouraging me to allow them to express themselves when writing or typing, we really haven't done much work with them specifically in therapy. But I was expressing frustration with the gaps in memory but still feeling and experiencing the memory (it's quite frustrating experiencing something you can't remember. You can't really make heads or tails from it) and my regression lately (which I won't talk about but it is something I want to stop doing).
Anyway, I thought about EMDR. My therapist said we can do EMDR with my parts. It's an interesting but frightening thought at the same time. I'm intrigued though. I expressed concern that my protector part may sort of say no and hold that line and not make anything accessible to me, as my protector part usually does, and he mentioned that we could express to the protector that this is a good thing for us and they could help out.
I'm wondering if this is something we will have to wait until we are in person to do. It is very hard for me to feel safe enough to do EMDR if my therapist isn't in the same room. It takes a super long time for me to feel safe enough with my therapist in his office. He said he has done a few over video and it's worked but knowing me and my parts, I don't think it will work for me. That said, I wanted to hear if anyone has any experience with EMDR with parts or alters (including those with DID) and what it was like. Is there anything I can do to help the process and basically what to expect when we actually get to do it. My therapist and I have only been doing a very tiny bit of EMDR since my first and really bad experience. We call it EMDR light. Not about my trauma but more today stuff. So I'm worried about going that deep as that's going much deeper then the first time we did EMDR. Or even if my parts will allow it or how to get them to allow it, if that makes sense.
Any thoughts?