Relationship Claims he has never cared for me at all

[Survivor3]

Hi @anonymous85, people fantasize and romantisise about relationships and imagine they're different from what they are and what's really going on. If he's said that he had never cared about you then I'd believe him and walk away quite frankly. That's a horrible thing to say to someone that you have 'some' kind of relationship with.

 

[Anonymous85]

Hi @anonymous85, people fantasize and romantisise about relationships and imagine they're different from what they are and what's really going on. If he's said that he had never cared about you then I'd believe him and walk away quite frankly. That's a horrible thing to say to someone that you have 'some' kind of relationship with.

I agree that even if he didn’t mean it, just saying that at all is awful. I am just trying to figure out things I guess to move on.

 

[nursenurse]

Sometimes, you just can’t figure things out. Closure is one overhyped myth in my opinion. He has already said it all to you, that is as much closure as you need. Move on with your head held high, remembering that you have likely dodged a bullet.

 

[Anonymous85]

Sometimes, you just can’t figure things out. Closure is one overhyped myth in my opinion. He has already said it all to you, that is as much closure as you need. Move on with your head held high, remembering that you have likely dodged a bullet.

You’re right as much as i hate to admit it. I just feel really naive and used.

 

[ladee]

You were uninformed about PTSD, you were not naive. Please don't add that to your pain of all that has transpired. Used? I would say no to that because you are making strides to move forward.

We all understand your wanting to make sense of this. I know this won't help, but those of us with PTSD can't make sense of things either sometimes. Not without a lot of therapy, a lot of exposure, a lot of blood, sweat and tears.

I'm sorry he hurt you with such callous and thoughtless words. But now you know. Still proud of you for reaching out and trying to find answers. I know we didn't tell you what you were hoping to hear. It's hard, very hard to be in a relationship with someone with PTSD. As much as this may not make sense to you, I'm grateful you don't know what it's like.

Wishing you good healthy healing and a wonderful future relationship where you will be valued for simply being you.

 

[Freida]

ya...ptsd is hell on relationships and for many of us sufferers walking away is super, super easy. It doesn't mean that at one time we didn't mean the things we said about caring. It just means that right now we don't - and may never again.

I see a lot of supporters get stuck in the "I'll just love them more and help them and someday things will be better" thing. But if you listen to the long term supporters they don't have that philosophy. And they won't allow themselves to be abused by someone using ptsd as an excuse.

As for making sense of it? Ya, that's not gonna happen because ptsd doesn't make sense. Ever. Not for the sufferers, not for the supporters. But think about this.... If he didn't have ptsd, and was acting like a total asshat, would you still be struggling to let him go? Or would you be able to move on because you know you deserve better?