Survivor3
MyPTSD Pro
Hi @Ashamed99, welcome to the site. I'm sorry for the reasons that your here. I can relate to everything you said. For years (decades) I knew I was really unwell but wore a mask and would constantly say that I was "alright" if someone asked how I was. Telling people the truth about how I was feeling, emotionally and psychologically was just to scary and dangerous. I was also drinking and smoking heavily.
I was deeply traumatised and like you, would have terrible anxiety attacks and would isolate myself. It was very painful. I think that the road to recovery starts when we can find people that are safe and we can trust and say "hey, I'm not alright, I don't feel well and it's because of this and this and I need help"
there are many supportive people here on this site, take your time and keep posting your thoughts and feelings it will help, best wishes.
I was deeply traumatised and like you, would have terrible anxiety attacks and would isolate myself. It was very painful. I think that the road to recovery starts when we can find people that are safe and we can trust and say "hey, I'm not alright, I don't feel well and it's because of this and this and I need help"
there are many supportive people here on this site, take your time and keep posting your thoughts and feelings it will help, best wishes.