My partner has PTSD since the beginning of this year, after brain surgery and having Trigeminal Neuralgia (pain in face) for a couple of months before that.
We met a month after the first pains started.
So we know eachother now for almost a year.
We didn’t know it was PTSD for months, the only thing I know is that there were a lot of triggers and I felt I couldn’t move in any direction without triggering them.
I’ve cried so much.. but after months of dealing with it we were finding out it was PTSD and everything fell into place.
But.. they haven’t gotten treatment yet and I’m literally hearing every day a new or old trigger. I barely can do anything without triggering something and everything is blamed on me. When I think we’ve talked about something and we ‘drop it’, a month later I hear it again..
Today I’m struggling cause I’ve read about not sharing all your thoughts and feelings towards your partner (if you have compassion fatigue for instance).
So my partner was triggered 2 days ago and I held them, had space for them, and then after I needed 20 min to myself cause I felt that compassion fatigue. Now they blame me for not talking to them about everything, but it’s only gonna make it worse. What do I say?
I have compassion fatigue? I’m so hurt cause you blame stuff on me and make me feel bad about every decision I make?
And today, we wanted to go outside.. big step for them. But they said: I’m scared cause I might get triggered and then you’re gonna get angry/triggered cause that happend 2 days ago.
Yes, sometimes I am so tired.. cause I try to do everything right. But I need my 20 min of downtime too.. now it’s being used against me..
I get they get scared, but I’m not a robot..
I have feelings too…
I really don’t know where to draw a line..
Im crying in my room now cause I feel like I can never be good enough. I always trigger them, I never handle it the way they want..
I get frustrated sometimes cause it’s always about them, the whole day..
It sounds horrible but I’m doing everything I can (even going to therapy now for myself cause they say I have now ptsd too) but they are not in therapy yet…
Does anyone have this too?
I feel so selfish for needing my time and feeling the compassion fatigue… :(
We met a month after the first pains started.
So we know eachother now for almost a year.
We didn’t know it was PTSD for months, the only thing I know is that there were a lot of triggers and I felt I couldn’t move in any direction without triggering them.
I’ve cried so much.. but after months of dealing with it we were finding out it was PTSD and everything fell into place.
But.. they haven’t gotten treatment yet and I’m literally hearing every day a new or old trigger. I barely can do anything without triggering something and everything is blamed on me. When I think we’ve talked about something and we ‘drop it’, a month later I hear it again..
Today I’m struggling cause I’ve read about not sharing all your thoughts and feelings towards your partner (if you have compassion fatigue for instance).
So my partner was triggered 2 days ago and I held them, had space for them, and then after I needed 20 min to myself cause I felt that compassion fatigue. Now they blame me for not talking to them about everything, but it’s only gonna make it worse. What do I say?
I have compassion fatigue? I’m so hurt cause you blame stuff on me and make me feel bad about every decision I make?
And today, we wanted to go outside.. big step for them. But they said: I’m scared cause I might get triggered and then you’re gonna get angry/triggered cause that happend 2 days ago.
Yes, sometimes I am so tired.. cause I try to do everything right. But I need my 20 min of downtime too.. now it’s being used against me..
I get they get scared, but I’m not a robot..
I have feelings too…
I really don’t know where to draw a line..
Im crying in my room now cause I feel like I can never be good enough. I always trigger them, I never handle it the way they want..
I get frustrated sometimes cause it’s always about them, the whole day..
It sounds horrible but I’m doing everything I can (even going to therapy now for myself cause they say I have now ptsd too) but they are not in therapy yet…
Does anyone have this too?
I feel so selfish for needing my time and feeling the compassion fatigue… :(