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Abusive past therapist

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WillowH

Something interesting happened to me, and I wonder if other people have been through a similar thing.
So I had a previous therapist that I saw for some time. It was good at first but at some point the relationship just fell apart. After that I couldn’t be truthful to them anymore, and they became suspicious of everything I said. therapy with them no longer became about my treatment. We didn’t even have appointments anymore, just talking. So after about a month, one day I stopped talking to them completely without saying anything. That was it. She tried to contact me once again but I didn’t respond.
Fast forward a lot in time. I was seeing this new therapist and in one of our first sessions I made the stupid decision to vaguely mention this one past therapist that I stopped seeing one day. We scheduled an appointment some time later, but when the day came she didn’t show up. I got worried that she abandoned me. Instead, I got a call at a random time and the phone number was the same my past therapist used. I was so surprised because it had been so long and confused because why now of all days?
Obviously I didn’t answer.
They left a voice mail anxiously saying that she was looking up past-patients and calling them to see how they’re doing now. This was an obvious lie to me, as I’ve learned to detect manipulation from my parents. It’s disappointing to see my past therapist try to pull me back into therapy, especially when they think you’re dumb enough not to notice.
I decided to block her phone number. I’m just bothered about the new therapist. Somehow she figured out who my past therapist was and contacted her. How is that even possible? Unless it really was just a random phone call.
 
I scheduled an appointment with the new therapist, not the old one. Then she never showed up.
Yes, I sent her an email asking if there was a reason she didn’t make it and if she could send me a message beforehand if it happens again. Basically I put the blame on an accident like her forgetting or something. She responded and said that apparently she doesn’t work on that day of the week and didn’t bother to check her appointment list. It sounds reasonable and genuine, but then again therapists are trained to sound genuine to lower awkwardness. She might have just copied something she said to a previous patient, or a phrase she learned from class.

I actually have an idea how she figured out who my old T was. See, I told her about an inpatient place I once went to. All that she would have to do is check all the inpatient treatment centers in my state, call them and ask for my name, then ask who my old T was by making up some excuse. After she figured that out, she must have called my old T and told her everything I disclosed. That’s my current thinking and it makes sense to me but I could always be wrong.
I never mentioned this part, but there was another time my old T tried to call me. It was when I started inpatient treatment again. IDK, does she have some kind of radar that detects whenever I start treatment?
 
I actually have an idea how she figured out who my old T was. See, I told her about an inpatient place I once went to. All that she would have to do is check all the inpatient treatment centers in my state, call them and ask for my name, then ask who my old T was by making up some excuse. After she figured that out, she must have called my old T and told her everything I disclosed. That’s my current thinking and it makes sense to me but I could always be wrong.
So, the treatment centre you attended can’t give out your name. To anyone. Certainly not some random person calling them up out of the blue.

Your Ts are not allowed to speak to each other about you unless you authorise it. They’re not allowed to even disclose you’re a patient.

Quite apart from all that - do you think it’s realistic that your new T would invest so much time in researching this, when she could just…ask you…?

Your old T doesn’t have any kind of ‘radar’ (following up unresolved client issues is normal). You’re talking about superhuman powers. That’s heading down the path of delusional/paranoid thinking, which is a symptom of an illness (multiple possible illnesses)

You should consider talking to your new T about that. It will help get an accurate diagnosis, and get you the treatment you actually need to get well again.
 
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What @Sideways said. They cannot give out your info. At all. (Unless you sign a release.)

Why would your T invest so much time trying to figure out who your old T was? What would be gained from that? It’s illegal and unethical for her to disclose anything you said (except those certain situations and that’s only to the proper authorities, not an old T.).

To me, her excuse for not showing up is lame. She should know when she scheduled a client. Why would she schedule you on a day she doesn’t normally work? I would explore that much further with her…but that’s just me.
 
Are you being serious about me being delusional? Even if not... Ugh, now I have to consider this...
That can’t be right. I just think of myself as being smarter than everyone else. I see things that no one else sees. When I read a book in school, I read between the lines, consider the author’s bias, look at the time period, ask if it was written for a purpose. I have ideas that no one else has, at least every person I’ve seen. I’m sure no one else in history has either; no one else but me would even bother to think about this. I have extremely high grades and really high test scores. You can’t deny that, it’s objective.
I know that I’m dissociative. Definitely, and it’s pretty high too. I pretty much am never attached to my surrounding, and I never interact with other people. I haven’t felt anything in so long. But that’s just because of the environment, being in it for so long. And that’s all it is, just dissociation. When I was an inpatient, they thought it was way more. Just because I don’t like talking about some of my symptoms doesn’t mean I have them. They had no proof I was experiencing those symptoms, besides maybe mood swings. Then when I left Inpatient my therapist didn’t trust me anymore. I never told them they could communicate with my therapist anyways. They still did it and without any reason. And when I found out, they discharged me to a mental hospital. They covered it up by claiming they sent me there because of those symptoms. There reason sounded legit and no one even questioned it because “listen to the professionals.” Then when people start to question the professionals, it becomes “why do you think they spent 8 years in school.” Psychologists know so much more than you they can almost claim whatever they want. And get away with it in my case.
I don’t know how people trust therapists, I can’t do it anymore. I don’t mean trust as in I choose to listen to you, more like I choose not to think about if you have intentions (good or bad ones) or what they are. I think at the very least you should question why they’re saying what they’re saying, if it’s for any reason.
Maybe I am delusional. Clearly can’t trust anyone. I’m going to show this thread to my therapist, and she’ll definitely agree I’m not delusional.
Also I’ll definitely ask her why she made an appointment she couldn’t keep.

Ugh, the amount I just disclosed does not feel good with my trust levels. First to the person who sounded like he wanted to listen, then to defend myself. I got to work on this. It doesn’t matter here, right?
 
It doesn’t matter here, right?
It doesn’t. The mantra on this forum is take what’s helpful, leave the rest. Feel free to ignore all my advice. That’s totally okay with me.

Paranoia and delusion are like cognitive distortions: they’re very hard to spot yourself, until someone teaches you how to spot them. You can get treatment for whatever is causing them (depending on the cause - like I said, there’s several possibilities), and you can also be taught how better to spot them yourself and work around them. It’s unlikely you’ll do either of those things successfully without the assistance of a therapist with professional training in how to do that.

It’s entirely possible that you are just as intelligent as you’ve always known and you have some paranoid or delusional thoughts. Smart people get sick just like stupid people do - illness is unbiased when it comes to intelligence.
 
It sounds like you have grandiose thinking.

Yes, I complain about stupid people all the time, and while I know I’m intelligent, I don’t think I’m smarter than everyone else.

This sounds like something you should examine, especially since you believe you have thoughts that nobody else has ever had.
 
especially since you believe you have thoughts that nobody else has ever had.
Agree with this right here. My first T told me straight up that I could not read people’s minds or control their thoughts and it floored me. I later learned that such styles of thinking are *often* a result of CPTSD and growing up in an abusive household because we have to be hypersensitive to the mood changes of our abusers and we begin to think we can read their minds or influence them psychically, or in your case (which was mine as well) that we are smarter than them and everyone else as well.

These are psychological survival techniques.
 
Agree with this right here. My first T told me straight up that I could not read people’s minds or control their thoughts and it floored me. I later learned that such styles of thinking are *often* a result of CPTSD and growing up in an abusive household because we have to be hypersensitive to the mood changes of our abusers and we begin to think we can read their minds or influence them psychically, or in your case (which was mine as well) that we are smarter than them and everyone else as well.

These are psychological survival techniques.
💯 This ^^

Worth exploring why you would think a new T would do that. Where your distrust and suspicion comes from. Are you like that in all relationships? As that would hinder relationships and authenntic interaction with others.
 
Are you being serious about me being delusional? Even if not... Ugh, now I have to consider this...
That can’t be right. I just think of myself as being smarter than everyone else. I see things that no one else sees. When I read a book in school, I read between the lines, consider the author’s bias, look at the time period, ask if it was written for a purpose. I have ideas that no one else has, at least every person I’ve seen. I’m sure no one else in history has either; no one else but me would even bother to think about this. I have extremely high grades and really high test scores. You can’t deny that, it’s objective.
I know that I’m dissociative. Definitely, and it’s pretty high too. I pretty much am never attached to my surrounding, and I never interact with other people. I haven’t felt anything in so long. But that’s just because of the environment, being in it for so long. And that’s all it is, just dissociation. When I was an inpatient, they thought it was way more. Just because I don’t like talking about some of my symptoms doesn’t mean I have them. They had no proof I was experiencing those symptoms, besides maybe mood swings. Then when I left Inpatient my therapist didn’t trust me anymore. I never told them they could communicate with my therapist anyways. They still did it and without any reason. And when I found out, they discharged me to a mental hospital. They covered it up by claiming they sent me there because of those symptoms. There reason sounded legit and no one even questioned it because “listen to the professionals.” Then when people start to question the professionals, it becomes “why do you think they spent 8 years in school.” Psychologists know so much more than you they can almost claim whatever they want. And get away with it in my case.
I don’t know how people trust therapists, I can’t do it anymore. I don’t mean trust as in I choose to listen to you, more like I choose not to think about if you have intentions (good or bad ones) or what they are. I think at the very least you should question why they’re saying what they’re saying, if it’s for any reason.
Maybe I am delusional. Clearly can’t trust anyone. I’m going to show this thread to my therapist, and she’ll definitely agree I’m not delusional.
Also I’ll definitely ask her why she made an appointment she couldn’t keep.

Ugh, the amount I just disclosed does not feel good with my trust levels. First to the person who sounded like he wanted to listen, then to defend myself. I got to work on this. It doesn’t matter here, right?
Hi I assumed you were right about your therapists and in this post where you said some more I still feel like that. Idk what’s actually going on but I also understand your feelings about disclosing too much and you have to learn here as someone else said to try and leave alone the responses you don’t like or agree with. Easier said than done but I don’t mind saying in the beginning I was afraid to read the replies sometimes and I think given the subject matter that’s not surprising.
 
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