Is It Possible To Manage Ptsd With No Help

[lovinbiker]

I dont know if this is in the right area so apologise if its not, My sufferer (ex) gf is trying to deal with her ptsd by just keeping busy.
This is pretty much her own words to me we split before christmas as she said she loved me and would like a future but needed to address the ptsd. Well she went to her doctor and was prescribed something I dont know what, she wouldnt tell me. The doctor also had a plan of action for getting her better, again I dont know details.

Well anyway she lasted only a few days on the drug before stopping it because it made her groggy. Now I fully understand that she cant look after her daughter while always feeling groggy.
I suggested she see her doctor about it and see what else she could be prescribed instead. She didnt do this and says that she cant get an appointment with her doc.

She says she will be ok on her own with just friends and will deal with her ptsd on her own ( she says I will always be her friend) She told me her daughter is worried about her thinks shes gonna lose her, to the best of my information she is not using any kind of `outside` treatment for her ptsd.

I know she is a very strong person but from what I have read she will not ever be able to cope with ptsd with out any help of any kind. I do hope im wrong and that she will be able to manage her symptoms and have a happy life with or without me. She has had it 6 years and has gone through various extremely bad spells in that time I mean attempted suicide etc.

I would love some opinions on this is she afraid of treatment as she `knows` ptsd and fears the unknown? How have others managed form here prior to getting help.

LB

 

[KP the nut]

Hi LB, for me it was a downward spiral. I tried it on my own.

I cope, I'm fine, everything is OK but it isn't. I felt as if I were in a wierd play, nothing was real, I wasn't real, I was giving a performance until I cracked. I started to phase out of situations, as I joked, the lights were on but no-one was home. And that was on citalapram. Doctor upped the dosage and arranged an assessment with a T.

I've only had a couple of sessions of EMDR, and yes, it is hell, but I'm hoping there is light at the end of the tunnel. I am afraid I will get stuck in a memory, but my T gives me great grounding exercises.

I have a supportive H, but I haven't told him everything re flashbacks, nightmares etc, not even about this site. I think it is the stupid I can cope gene that is in lots of us.

I feel I've started rambling. My answer ( and no way am I an expert, just personal opinion) is that it may be possible on your own but it is a darn sight easier with professional support.

She is very lucky that she has someone like you who does care.

Good luck and look after yourself as well
KP

 

[lovinbiker]

I cope, I'm fine, everything is OK but it isn't. I felt as if I were in a wierd play, nothing was real, I wasn't real, I was giving a performance until I cracked.

She is very lucky that she has someone like you who does care.

Hi KP thanks for the response,
Your comment about it being like a weird play is something I can relate to with her she does seem to be able to put on an act almost. Im not sure saying an act or a front is the best way of putting it but it is like you say like its not real for a lot of the time. Then bam its like reality hits home and she spirals downward again and its almost like that is a continous cycle.I feel your right that its possible to do it on her own I really think she has the will power and determination. Its just as if she wants to try and do it the hard way where I can see that having help would be easier.

Thanks for your kind words yes I do care for her greatly but feel there is nothing much I can do for her at the moment.
LB

 

[KP the nut]

but feel there is nothing much I can do for her at the moment.

Bless you, there is something you can do and you are doing it. You are there for her, and I bet she knows it, just can't deal with it now.

Ok, enough insomnia for me, I'm going to try and get some sleep.

(((HUGS))) if you take them.
KP

 

[Jestadud]

If there is help available why would anyone want to go it alone!

Big difference for me is that I had no idea that I was suffering Ptsd so I sought all the help I could get. Once they convinced me that it was Ptsd I still had a problem because it seems I had lived my life with the symptoms that's how I ended up here still looking for answers and discovered cptsd or desnos.

I was on Prozac and it never made me groggy I just felt it set a base line that my emotion or mood couldn't dip below.

Since having my treatments I have struggled most with my emotions which were probably stifled up till then.

I thought I was a strong person up till going full blown Ptsd.

 

[ruedec]

I understand trying to go it alone without treatment. I like to think I'm strong and don't need anyone else, but it's just not true. A friend finally pulled me aside almost two years ago and told me "there are no extra points for 'white knuckling' your way through this" and that was the tipping point for me to start therapy. I am glad I got the help I needed and am working on building my support network. Maybe it can be done alone, but I can't recommend that approach based on my own experience.

 

[Philippa]

I'd be the same as you then ruedec. I did have certain people in my life who were supportive at various times, usually boyfriends, but if a relationship dies or ends, then so does the support that goes with it, and I have had trouble finding people who are willing to be supportive. Most people are so caught up in their own lives and their own problems they don't even notice unless you reach out to them...which I always had difficulty with.

In answer to your question, I think it can be good to be alone at times, for healing...but going it alone all the time I wouldn't recommend. It can be done, but in my experience, the process takes longer if you don't feel supported. Feeling that support can really take the edge off what you are going through. It's hard enough without making it harder on yourself...believe me, I know that much.

 

[lovinbiker]

Bless you, there is something you can do and you are doing it. You are there for her, and I bet she knows it, just can't deal with it now..

(((HUGS))) if you take them.
KP

Thanks KP being here is major help for me not to feel so helpless, Oh and I do take hugs so I will accept it with thanks :D
LB

 

[intothelight]

Hi LB,

Being "busy" is a coping mechanism and it does keep symptoms at bay, for a while. From what I have learned, this disorder it is not something that you just "get over", no matter what you try. It seems the best one can hope for is managing it, and that seems to involve one, or a combination of, positive coping skills, therapy, medication and lifestyle changes.

PTSD is caused by brain damage. There are areas of the brain that undergo measurable changes as a result of the "fight or flight" response. Subsequently, neurological impairment is experienced with memory, cognition, and emotions. (This is my own summary, and it falls very short of all neurological changes and effects.)

I cannot "fix" this, but I can use all of the tools at my disposal to manage it. I still spend too much time thinking that I can handle things or using "busy" as a coping mechanism. It worked for decades, so why not now? Well it doesn't work any more and it actually makes me less able to manage. I will probably bang my head on the wall more times than I care to count before I finally find what works. But I know the lack of proper treatment made this worse and probably caused more damage. But this is only my opinion, based on my experience, and not necessarily applicable across the board.

LB, you are doing the right thing by taking care of yourself and being supportive. Things will only change when someone wants them too, and damaging behavior only stops when it is recognized as such.

Wishing you peace.
Debbie

 

[lovinbiker]

If there is help available why would anyone want to go it alone!

Hi yes thats how I feel why would someone want to do it the hard way, when there is help available. She is stubborn and very strong willed and independant, so I put it down to that.
LB

 

[lovinbiker]

I understand trying to go it alone without treatment. I like to think I'm strong and don't need anyone else, but it's just not true.

I wish she had a friend that could do that with her, I cannot as I truly feel that all I will do is lose her forever if I do. I really dont want to do that but would do it if I knew she would get better.
LB

 

[lovinbiker]

I'd be the same as you then ruedec. I did have certain people in my life who were supportive at various times, usually boyfriends, but if a relationship dies or ends, then so does the support that goes with it,

In answer to your question, I think it can be good to be alone at times, for healing...but going it alone all the time I wouldn't recommend. It can be done, but in my experience, the process takes longer if you don't feel supported. Feeling that support can really take the edge off what you are going through. It's hard enough without making it harder on yourself...believe me, I know that much.

I still want to be that support as her bf or just friend as she means enough to me not to just walk away from her. Yes Its almost to me that shes doing it the hard way as some sort of punishment to herself like she doesnt deserve a `normal` life. I maybe way off the mark but thats kinda how it feels and looks from my point of view.
LB