Does this count as trauma?

[Workingonit]

I spent a couple years harassing Missouri for my records… hired an attorney and had them in less than 24hrs.

They weren’t actually correct which had me in stitches and my attorney infuriated (the errors were, bizarrely, in my benefit… I didn’t serve that long. But the times & places I was at were periodically doubled -2 places at once!- or tripled; ditto promotions waiting for time in grade, etc., so someone did the math and came up with almost double my time in. Um. No. Dates? Are a thing. Shrug. Whatever. That my records are a clusterf*ck? Is just kind of damn typical. For about half of the time I was in, I was under 4 damn commands. At the same time. Which was eyecrossing to live, and caused a helluva lotta problems for me… so some clerk somewhere just said “f*ck it” and added them all together? Yep. That’s about right.).

The dumbest thing of all? I was a mechanic in the national guard. Doing things I shouldn't have been doing. I threw all my medals away when I got home. My mom dug what she could find out of the trash. Hey maybe you know what this is. Lemme find the picture my mom set me of one of my medals one sec.

 

[Workingonit]

@Friday SFE V TEAM. stands for Special Forces Engineering Victory Team. You ever see anything like this before? Trying to figure out what it is.

 

[Workingonit]

@Friday
These i know what they are. and my ranks i outgrew while in iraq. I was a corporal when i got back.

 

[Workingonit]

I have a buttload of participation awards too. You know how it goes.

 

[Workingonit]

The only thing I've really been able to find are ebay listings

 

[Workingonit]

Kuwait sandstorm

 

[Workingonit]

Camel

 

[Workingonit]

The single most attacked place in all of Iraq in 2004-2005

 

[Workingonit]

Don't remember where this was. But I have a picture of it.

 

[Workingonit]

When we pushed into iraq we had no armor until almost 6 months later. We hung sheet metal off the sides of our trucks and built wood frames and filled them full of sand bags for the 5 tons. Which was totally uneffective against ieds exploding underneath our trucks and the extra weight caused massive issues with vehicle break downs.

Iraq-Bound Troops Confront Rumsfeld Over Lack of Armor (Published 2004)

Troops complained that they were being sent into combat with insufficient protection and aging equipment.

www.nytimes.com

Shortage of Vehicle Armor Becomes Issue for US Soldiers in Iraq

Bush administration still reacting to complaint from soldier headed for Iraq that US forces are not getting vehicle armor they need to

www.voanews.com

I remember this. We were getting no sleep on double duty and when we did sleep they would mortar us.

Base hit by daily attacks told no GIs available for patrols

This sprawling supply base on a dusty stretch about 50 miles northwest of Baghdad is officially known as a “logistical support area.” Some of the thousands of soldiers and contractors who endure daily mortar and rocket attacks…

www.chicagotribune.com

Finally getting to go home. Almost wish i would have stayed there.

Multi-national Corps-Iraq/Multi-National Forces-Iraq News Release

www.globalsecurity.org

Fellow soldiers, some paid the ultimate price.

Death of a Citizen Soldier

* Patrick Ryan McCaffrey signed up for the California National Guard after 9/11, eager to do his part in safeguarding the state, a patriotic gesture that eventually led the father of two into combat in Iraq. But is that what he had in mind?

www.latimes.com

 

[Workingonit]

I was in denial about my trauma for so long. I just wanted to move past it. Be a real person. It all feels so fake.

I can't stand to look at my dad and when he's drunk its worse. I feel so guilty but I can't make him understand how utterly broken I am and the emotional flashbacks suck. I suck. Add that onto the rest of my pile of failures.

I have been talking to my daughter alot. She's the best. Beautiful, smart. She wants to be a cop. So did I at that age. I hope she grows out of it but until she does im all in.

 

[Friday]

The dumbest thing of all? I was a mechanic in the national guard.

I mostly used my secondary MOS (rescue swimmer) because Congress kept banning women from my primary MOS. Yanked off the line and sent back to CSchool for a new primary? (Aside from the shame filled, not rating, humiliation of it all? NOT a smart idea for mental health!!! In the field vs in school with baby marines??? BAD idea. Bad bad bad idea. Snort, although one of the stupidest, but easiest, was when I was switched from crew chief (because that was too ‘combat forward’ for women), and I was made a door gunner. No school needed, because crew chiefs are weapons trained, just switching positions. SNAFU.