Big Week Ahead ... Big Anxiety!!

[tigrou465]

Can't sleep - it's 2 am aroud here. I have a big week ahead and I just keep on thinking about it. Try to write at the beginning some small notes then wrote the whole thing - what I was thinking about, my feelings, emotion but still can't sleep. I will be seeing a college of my specialist on tuesday afternoon - a second opinion about my situation and about my meds (since I don't react to them...) Then on thursday I will meet with my regular specialist - first visit since December 19. It was at that appointment that he "drop" the possibility of having ETC treatment. I totally freaked out! At that time it was NO WAY for that treatment. Now, after reading a lot about it, well I am more for a yes. I don't know what he will say to me on my appointment. I don't know why I feel so anxious about it. I know he will still be my doctor, will ask how I've been, how I'm feeling and will probably tell me the conclusion of his collegue evaluation. Then why on earth do I fell so anxious? Ok 2 specialists in the same week will be demanding from my part. So??? I've been seeing this doctor for almost a year now - should not stress me that much!!! I don't understand myself - it's so weird that feeling. I've put down my questions and comments but I'm still feeling weird... Am I normal of so very mixed up?

 

[KP the nut]

Then why on earth do I fell so anxious?

Am I normal of so very mixed up?

Yes, of course you are normal and yes of course you feel mixed up. I see my T weekly and still feel anxious before an appointment.

This bloody PTSD makes us hypervigillant and over analyse every thing we do. I certainly play scenes over and over in my mind. I can't switch off. The one thing I keep telling myself is that nothing is as bad as the fear we have as we build up to something.

You have prepared yourself by reading what the treatment entails. Can you show your specialists what you have written. Sometimes that is easier than trying to explain. Sometimes I know what I want to say, but the words go missing between my mind and my mouth.

Hang in there Tig.

(((HUGS)))
KP

 

[Nighthawk]

This is a very normal reaction that I have almost every week. It happens especially when I have more than one appointment in a week. I worry about what the new person will think of me. I hate or get very angry when I have to open the zip to someone else even if they are there to help me.

NH