Sufferer I lost the one healing relationship I had

[Sven]

She was like a lifeline for me. The second relationship I've had and amazingly she was a person trying to heal herself too, which made us a good match. The safety of a stable, reliable partner was like a godsend, but I hadn't dealt with my trauma and addiction and that ended the relationship after two years. Now many years later I continue to obcess over her, knowing that this relationship was the path to healing I desperately needed and then lost. Now I am homeless and without hope, I refuse to commit suicide because of my family but I have nothing left to live for. I was happy for the first time with her, but I realize that my own attachment issues prevented the stability of the relationship. She was my only connection, and now I feel consumed with Greif and abandonment. Any advice welcome

 

[Riley Jones]

I'm so sorry to hear that you're feeling this way, but I'm glad you reached out. It's understandable that losing a relationship that provided so much support and understanding feels overwhelming and leaves you with a sense of grief and abandonment.

Firstly, please know that you don't have to face this alone. Connecting with others who have similar experiences can offer valuable support and understanding. I encourage you to join our peer-to-peer community at myptsd.com. There, you can share your story, receive empathy, and connect with people who truly understand what you're going through.

While connecting with others who have shared experiences can be helpful, it's also important to consider seeking professional help. A trauma psychologist or therapist can provide guidance and support in navigating the emotions and challenges you're facing. They can help you work through your trauma and attachment issues in a safe and supportive environment.

Remember, healing takes time. It's not uncommon for these feelings of grief and loss to persist, but with the right support, there is hope for a brighter future. Take small steps towards self-care, such as engaging in activities you enjoy or finding healthy coping mechanisms.

On myptsd.com, you will find various forums dedicated to specific topics related to PTSD and CPTSD. These forums provide a space where you can discuss and seek advice on areas such as relationships, addiction, attachment issues, and more.

Please don't hesitate to reach out for help, both in our community and from professionals. You are not alone, and there is hope for healing and finding happiness again.

 

[littleoc]

I have no advice, really, just that it won't be the only healing relationship in your life and I'm sorry you're grieving it. Glad you're here

 

[Friday]

Welcome!

Any advice welcome

Start taking steps to become the person you want to be. They don’t have to be big steps. They just need to be in the right direction.

 

[DarkVixen]

Welcome, Even if she is no longer in the picture, what she taught you and shared with you always will be.

 

[hithere]

It does hurt so badly. Don't blame.yourself. be kind to yourself and accepting. Take what little hope you have a try to do a few steps toward recovery so when you meet someone else you will be in a better place. Trust me, she was not the only one, nor will she be the only one. That all or nothing thinking doesnt help. Its also not reality. Be grateful you knew her, grieve. But work on yourself, which starts with self compassion and self care. you will find another! And when you do you'll have more to share. Love is alive in millions of people! She isn't the only.specactulsr person in the world. There are many.

 

[Brumbyinthesunshine]

She was like a lifeline for me. The second relationship I've had and amazingly she was a person trying to heal herself too, which made us a good match. The safety of a stable, reliable partner was like a godsend, but I hadn't dealt with my trauma and addiction and that ended the relationship after two years. Now many years later I continue to obcess over her, knowing that this relationship was the path to healing I desperately needed and then lost. Now I am homeless and without hope, I refuse to commit suicide because of my family but I have nothing left to live for. I was happy for the first time with her, but I realize that my own attachment issues prevented the stability of the relationship. She was my only connection, and now I feel consumed with Greif and abandonment. Any advice welcome

Your story reminds me of someone I know . And I say it gently and with respect.

Somebody amazing and incredible , who was just too clouded to see it and see the connection.

Firstly I want to say - it takes courage to arrive at the place you have - to admit she was possibly your path to healing. The universe , God , karma whatever we term it sends us people along the way- some of them are GIFTS. I hear you ended the relationship .

IF you ever get a second chance with your angel - make it work.

Hey - BTW - The world needs you. Stay.

I feel your grief.
I am no expert - we are all human. Look after your self and stay strong. Sending a big hug to heal your pain.

 

[mamachick]

I was once in, what I thought was a healing relationship, but turned out he was a sociopath that had just led me astray from the life I had. After much pain, I discovered that the only really healing relationship was a solo one. Doesn't mean to me to be solo for ever. It would be so nice if someone could be along for the ride, but seriously most dont have

 

[DarkVixen]

I was once in, what I thought was a healing relationship, but turned out he was a sociopath that had just led me astray from the life I had. After much pain, I discovered that the only really healing relationship was a solo one. Doesn't mean to me to be solo for ever. It would be so nice if someone could be along for the ride, but seriously most dont have

I have to agree. Over time as I healed maybe the support of others was badly needed but eventually I've come to that place that I'm able to be the support I need. Maybe that's when we actually know that we are healed and whole again. When we no longer need someone else's support and we are strong enough to stand on our own.

 

[Brumbyinthesunshine]

I was happy for the first time with her, but I realize that my own attachment issues prevented the stability of the relationship. She was my only connection, and now I feel consumed with Greif and abandonment. Any advice welcome

Hi @Sven- please keep reaching out to this forum - there are some honest insights and those who have walked the same walk.
I hear you say:
1)You felt happy
2)Feel that you have realised your own attachment issues
3) Felt connected
4) feel consumed with grief
5) Feel abandoned

1,2&3 are so pivotal in your growth and accepting it was good and where you can make things right ( and hey , miracles happen ,it might re kindle again ) Thats credit to you !
4&5 are completely valid ,its okay to feel that way . Grief has stages . Most of us have felt this , often many times in our lives.

Stay strong. Stay connected to this community. There are the Pro's who can give amazing advice.

 

[arich62]

I had an older sister who was like the way you described, we bonded in a similar way as you described. We helped each other get through madness and accept the roadblocks to recovery that we had.