Childhood should i ask my sister about the time she sa'd me?

[suunny11037]

i was thinking about this and i want to open up to her about it but i don't know. i was 8 at the time (and a girl)and she was 13/14 and i think it mightve been like puberty or something but when i was 12 i was thinking about it too and was disgusted sooooo..
yeah i think it might ruin my relationship with her (which isnt very strong anyway. we fight like every day) and also that she'll tell my parents but its really stressing me out. should i ask her about it?

 

[Sideways]

Depends - where are you at with a support network? If you’ve got a good T to walk you through prep and fallout, could be constructive.

Do you need a particular kind of response? If you do, then don’t do it. Because the replies to “remember how you abused me” are rarely stuff that leave either person feeling better.

Are there particular responses that you won’t be able to cope with? If so, don’t risk it.

You deserve to heal. Prioritise that.

Mod note: I’ve removed the trigger warning. No need for them here. With ptsd on board, every thread contains potential triggers.

 

[Movingforward10]

What do you want to get from asking her?
and what would be the worst consequence of asking her? And if that happened, how would you cope?

how about writing out what you want to say. And reflect on that. See how it feels getting words out but not sharing them with her.

i recently told my sisters a brief outline of what happened to me. They didn’t SA me, so there wasn’t that dynamic between us. But the responses, and I am someone in my 40s with a few years of helpful therapy behind me, found their responses very overwhelming. One validated. And having a good response was very difficult to deal with. Surprisingly. And the other one had a bad response. And that brought on a lot of SI.
so: you’re approaching someone who did SA you. Which is bigger than what I outlined above. So maybe focus on what you want to achieve. What support you have in place for any consequence if you go ahead with it.

 

[OM_™]

And that brought on a lot of SI.

I'm still learning here. What is SI?...please excuse my ignorance.

 

[somerandomguy]

SI = suicidal ideation. Wishing you were dead.

How old are you, Sunny? From your post it sounds like you still live with your sister. If that's the case, I'd caution you against it because it might make your current situation worse. If I was in your shoes, I'd wait to start considering it until you get out of your living arrangements and can start really working on your trauma.