Pain threshold

[whiteraven]

And is it cruel to keep telling a person who reached their maximum pain threshold that it will get better?

Yes. I think it's cruel in any case of chronic pain--emotional or physical--because it *doesn't* always get better.

I have been suffering from C-PTSD since I was 8 and traumas have kept coming over the years, very consistently. One of my traumas was being abandoned by my parents. I have been alone in life for about 45 of my 50 years of my life, either alone or bullied. I have been to so many therapists over the years, tried medications, tried fresh starts. It also is hard when one of your therapists becomes a big part of your trauma and your ability to trust is smashed, because you worked with that therapist for 3-years, being very vulnerable and open with them, only to be unceremoniously abandoned by that therapist, dropped without explanation. I can't escape where I am now either. I'm trapped with no way to get away from the pain.

I so relate to all of this, except the abandonment by my parents. At least, I wasn't physically abandoned.

I think that when you live with this history and you are retraumatized over and over again, things begin to look completely hopeless. I guess I am doing a little better when compared to how I used to be, but to get there, I had to change my expectations of others and how my life "should" be, and I had to let go of a lot of things. I'm still working on the latter, but I notice that as I let go of the stuff that just doesn't serve me (even when people tell me I should be doing them), I feel better.

Do I think I'll ever be, deep down, happy? Nope. But I do have more and more moments when I'm not miserable.

 

[No More]

As in physical pain or mental pain?

I’m someone who very much enjoys now setting out to find my limit through endurance sport. Physically and mentally. And then push it. See how long I can endure the pain cave. How many hours can I keep pushing past my limit. One foot infront of the other. Over and over and over. The good thing about endurance events is there’s plenty of time to reach breakdown point, go through it and start putting yourself back together again. And then you prove to yourself it can be done, there is an end.

So then mentally, when I have a tough spot? Rather than throw my hands up and quit. I jump up and down, grit my teeth and say right now is when we dig in, roll up our sleeves and fight.

Is there a hard limit to what a person can endure? I don’t think so. I think a lot depends on one’s attitude at the point of breaking.

 

[Solveig]

There is reason I put this under this forum group heading. I feel zero hope, only despair. And each day I wake up I find more to support that hopelessness. I'm am being crushed by this life. I'm so - so tired. So tired of feeling this agony and desolation and being alone in life. So tired.

 

[Brumbyinthesunshine]

There is reason I put this under this forum group heading. I feel zero hope, only despair. And each day I wake up I find more to support that hopelessness. I'm am being crushed by this life. I'm so - so tired. So tired of feeling this agony and desolation and being alone in life. So tired.

Hi @Solveig- I rarely reply posts - but I stumbled onto your post for a reason just now.
Please 1) stay safe 2) know you are NEEDED by another soul in despair 3) Google Nick Vujicic on u tube ( I don't know your religious standing and I respect everyones choices - but please ,google him as a fellow human - the religion part is personal.Just hear him out for a few minutes . I hope it lifts you.)

 

[Midnightmoon]

Can they identify their breaking point

I'm so sorry you are in the trenches with it right now.

Personal limits of breakpoint... Hummm. I have been in the I guess a bit of unusual situation of caring for many many people in the immediate days after an attempt on their life. All of those people felt that they had reached their point of no return, that was it, they were checking out. The initial rage at being 'found/ saved/ rescued', call it what you will slowly simmered and steadily new hope grew. I'm not talking about a Disney movie 'everything is fabulous' type of hope, but like a little nugget of fight came back.

My own limit, I thought, was losing a working body. That was me done, I didn't want to exist in chronic pain, reliant on a carer to meet my basic functioning needs, tube fed and wheelchair dependant. Absolutely not. I was done. If I was physically capable of ending it all there and then I would have done it instantly. Instead I was stuck laying on my back looking at the ceiling, hallucinating, craving something would go wrong with one of the machines I was attached to and finish me off. It didn't, I had no choice but to exist in that awful state until months and months later, that little nugget of fight came to me too. And now, I don't know, I still struggle, it's going to be a slow learning curve I guess.

also is hard when one of your therapists becomes a big part of your trauma

I understand this, similar happened to me and I crumbled, therapy re traumatisation isn't recognised anywhere near enough as it should be. I felt, well, still feel like a dirty secret, a failure, even if I pay people to essentially care they still get sick of me. It's such a hideous position to be in and all I can say is you're not on your own, and whatever happened, it wasn't your fault