whiteraven
Diamond Member
I don't know what this is exactly, so I don't know where to put it. This has been a distressing aspect of my whole being, for at least several years, and I could really use some feedback.
So, when I was younger--like high school and below--I had a million interests. I raised birds, volunteered at the zoo and Red Cross, wrote, danced, volunteered for the city and chaired our annual parade for 6 years, learned languages, was officer in several clubs, etc...It didn't feel overwhelming; that was just the way I lived. I think part of it was a way to keep busy and away from my home, which was a tad dysfunctional. But I honestly loved everything I was doing.
I went to college, got a degree in nursing and a job. It was very draining for me, and I just didn't have the time or energy to do a lot of stuff. Plus, I didn't have the interest anymore. That continued through my next stint in college (when I got my BA), and the other-than-nursing work I did over the next several years. In 2010, I got my Master's and, because I was still working some of the horribly toxic jobs, I continued to have little care or energy for anything extra.
Now, since leaving the last god-awful job and having one that allows me to explore other things, I am crazy-overwhelmed with all I want to do. So far, I've been doing a little of everything, with no real accomplishment in anything. That is incredibly distressing for me. I can't focus on just one or two things. I can't even take the time to center and ground or write anything substantial or...damn, clean the f*cking house. I can't put things away because, well...what if I want to work on them?!? I go through files and find things I *really* get excited about working on, put them somewhere I can see them, and then there they sit.
So much I want to do, no ability to focus for any length of time on any one thing, so nothing gets done.
Does this sound familiar to anyone else?
So, when I was younger--like high school and below--I had a million interests. I raised birds, volunteered at the zoo and Red Cross, wrote, danced, volunteered for the city and chaired our annual parade for 6 years, learned languages, was officer in several clubs, etc...It didn't feel overwhelming; that was just the way I lived. I think part of it was a way to keep busy and away from my home, which was a tad dysfunctional. But I honestly loved everything I was doing.
I went to college, got a degree in nursing and a job. It was very draining for me, and I just didn't have the time or energy to do a lot of stuff. Plus, I didn't have the interest anymore. That continued through my next stint in college (when I got my BA), and the other-than-nursing work I did over the next several years. In 2010, I got my Master's and, because I was still working some of the horribly toxic jobs, I continued to have little care or energy for anything extra.
Now, since leaving the last god-awful job and having one that allows me to explore other things, I am crazy-overwhelmed with all I want to do. So far, I've been doing a little of everything, with no real accomplishment in anything. That is incredibly distressing for me. I can't focus on just one or two things. I can't even take the time to center and ground or write anything substantial or...damn, clean the f*cking house. I can't put things away because, well...what if I want to work on them?!? I go through files and find things I *really* get excited about working on, put them somewhere I can see them, and then there they sit.
So much I want to do, no ability to focus for any length of time on any one thing, so nothing gets done.
Does this sound familiar to anyone else?
