Being turned on triggers my dissociation?

[Avery111]

I’m diagnosed with CPTSD and a lot of it stems from sexual trauma. I’ve done intensive CPT programs, and feel like I have a good handle on my symptoms outside of dissociation which I experience daily. Sometimes I forget long periods of time even full days, if just can’t ground, like I’m floating off into my own world.

Something I realized recently is EVERY time I’m physically turned on or have any form of sexual desire it almost always results in dissociation and I cannot get myself to interact with masterbation or sexual partners. Even when I start, I can never get to a point of feeling good and end up dissociated instead.

Why does this happen? Any advice?

 

[Dynamic]

Well sex is stressful (according to your body’s memory).

If you like to research I’d look up fascia and trauma

And work on some type of slow workout that’s not too easy and see if that helps (you connect more to your body)

 

[Sideways]

Why does this happen? Any advice?

Internal experiences, like emotions and arousal, can be triggers just like external reminders of trauma.

Say you witness a car accident - your brain might decide that cars are now an indication that your life is in danger. If you were listening to Abba when it happened, your brain might decide that Abba is the harbinger of doom, and suddenly Abba is a trigger. Completely out of your control.

Same deal with emotions and arousal. If you were frustrated about something when you happened to witness that car accident, then our brains can then decide that feeling frustrated is the indication that we must be in danger. Suddenly, every time we get frustrated, we’re triggered, and our brain starts setting about trying to protect us from harm.

Even though Abba, or feeling frustrated, had absolutely nothing to do with the actual car accident. Our brain, the amygdala specifically, makes that link without actually checking with us if it makes rational sense.

Inevitably, loads of people who have experienced sexual assault end up with arousal becoming a trigger. Because the arousal and the assault occurred together, and our brain has decided they must be linked, and arousal must mean that we’re in peril.

A way of tackling that can be to approach it the same way you would approach any other trigger. Gradual, controlled exposure, to very small bits at a time, making sure you are relaxed and feel in control the whole time.

Sex therapists do this stuff every day of the week, and trauma specialists deal with it pretty regularly as well. So if you have a T, they may be able to guide you back through the steps to arousal becoming a good experience again.