Sufferer No one will listen or talk to me about it

[WinnieThePoohChris]

I don't know how to start or what to say, so...

Lifetime of family issues, i did work on that and get somewhere. Encounters with bad people when an adult led to awful results. Things happened beyond explanation.

I just read and didn't think it was possible for others. It was a home invasion, tortured, raped, worked with one of them. He used to laugh I set a new world record for being dead but no one would know. All filmed, shared and sold. Tried to get help and was slandered against, "people" dont accept torture. They dont understand what it can do to you, they always break you in the end. Kept pulling myself together, working, living, it all went on for a year. Started again last year.

Stayed isolated and kept to myself for many years trying to find a path. Took medicine, lots of therapy, all whilst everyone deciding facts of my life and myself for me and ignoring everything. Finally found something, a place to be productive and a part of things, but someone else did something bad and blamed it on me. Ruined my life. No one accepts he did.

Recently been blamed for a lot I don't understand. Reading here where people say they feel sick the idea of causing harm. Had that my whole life, didn't understand it or think anyone else could. I don't understand how people can think I would hurt anyone.

I've been getting assaulted, hurt, poisoned, treated badly, home unsafe, yet nowhere to go. Had an injury that caused concussion, yet undiagnosed for 9 months. Whole time isolated by abuser, manipulated, head messed with, made out to be someone I'm not. Still never caused any harm, yet so confused for so long.

Try to get anyone to help, doctors, police, family it's all put under "mental health". Told my care is my choice but get the opposite treatment of what I ask for and it's intentional as if I have done bad. Yet no actual help or support.

People don't get it. I couldn't leave my home for years. Years after and still now can barely stray from home, public transport, being in public something incredibly difficult.

Already been hurt so much, have had horrible injuries and more near death experiences in 2 years I can barely comprehend. Still strive to heal keep taking steps forward, still getting physically harmed.

I don't know what to do, everything just escalating. Still no one will listen or actually talk to me about it.

 

[parrotthepolly]

Welcome!

 

[HomelessJoe]

Carrying a memory people can't comprehend because they have never had to. Is extremely hard it makes you feel weak and vulnerable. But carrying it with you and moving forward makes you stronger, then those who have never had to carry that burden. Someone tried to make you feel weak and helpless against your will. Dont let that memory control you and make you weak. Use it to make you stronger. Live for you don't let them win.

 

[Sideways]

Welcome to the forum:)

 

[PlainJane]

Welcome!

 

[arfie]

hello winnie. welcome to the forum. sorry for what brings you here but glad you are here.

Try to get anyone to help, doctors, police, family it's all put under "mental health". Told my care is my choice but get the opposite treatment of what I ask for and it's intentional as if I have done bad. Yet no actual help or support.

in my own recovery, people TRY to help more often than i actually let them help. i keep getting lost in my own expectations of what help should look like and rejecting/judging offers of help as far less than helpful. where is my miracle cure? after 50 years of recovery from child sex trafficking i have reduced expectations of cures to wishful daydreams, but still they persist. when do i get to wake up to the brand new, healthy me i always wanted to be?

People don't get it.

nope, people don't get it. i don't get my own trauma reactions, much less anyone else's. i shared my childhood trauma with 10 siblings and each and every one of us has a different set of memories and present day reactions to those shared experiences. sigh. . . it is what it is whether i, or anyone else, gets ^it^ or knot.

butta, buttaa, buttttttaaaaaa. . .

ya can't climb a lifeline that is attached only to your own belt. not even my therapy peers here in this forum get me, but it takes a village to heal. each and every time i reach for that understanding, i heal a bit. those little bits add up to real progress when i keep reaching.

i doubt we will reach your expectations of real help, but we are listening. welcome aboard. hope healing happens here.

 

[WinnieThePoohChris]

The title here is different to the one I put, was that changed by someone?

Thank you, it does help. Reading other stories, realise not quite as alone in it all as i have felt for so long.

 

[Sideways]

Mod note:

The title here is different to the one I put, was that changed by someone?

Yep - mods switch up titles from time to time. Particularly here in the introductions forum where most of the posts are initially titled ‘new here’ or ‘don’t know what to write’. Helps differentiate threads for users and encourage people to take a look.

Whenever you have questions like that, hit us up at Contact so we can talk you through it without derailing your thread. If you’d like the title swapped out for something else? Same deal:)

 

[Susan Jane]

I don't know how to start or what to say, so...

Lifetime of family issues, i did work on that and get somewhere. Encounters with bad people when an adult led to awful results. Things happened beyond explanation.

I just read and didn't think it was possible for others. It was a home invasion, tortured, raped, worked with one of them. He used to laugh I set a new world record for being dead but no one would know. All filmed, shared and sold. Tried to get help and was slandered against, "people" dont accept torture. They dont understand what it can do to you, they always break you in the end. Kept pulling myself together, working, living, it all went on for a year. Started again last year.

Stayed isolated and kept to myself for many years trying to find a path. Took medicine, lots of therapy, all whilst everyone deciding facts of my life and myself for me and ignoring everything. Finally found something, a place to be productive and a part of things, but someone else did something bad and blamed it on me. Ruined my life. No one accepts he did.

Recently been blamed for a lot I don't understand. Reading here where people say they feel sick the idea of causing harm. Had that my whole life, didn't understand it or think anyone else could. I don't understand how people can think I would hurt anyone.

I've been getting assaulted, hurt, poisoned, treated badly, home unsafe, yet nowhere to go. Had an injury that caused concussion, yet undiagnosed for 9 months. Whole time isolated by abuser, manipulated, head messed with, made out to be someone I'm not. Still never caused any harm, yet so confused for so long.

Try to get anyone to help, doctors, police, family it's all put under "mental health". Told my care is my choice but get the opposite treatment of what I ask for and it's intentional as if I have done bad. Yet no actual help or support.

People don't get it. I couldn't leave my home for years. Years after and still now can barely stray from home, public transport, being in public something incredibly difficult.

Already been hurt so much, have had horrible injuries and more near death experiences in 2 years I can barely comprehend. Still strive to heal keep taking steps forward, still getting physically harmed.

I don't know what to do, everything just escalating. Still no one will listen or actually talk to me about it.

You found people here who understand your struggles. Welcome.

 

[Grateful]

Bit late on this one as only just arrived, as you know.

But just wanted to say I’m listening too