Emdr: It All Starts Now

[Angus McGee]

Thanks, I will.

 

[Angus McGee]

Quick question. Do the therapists recommend the spouse go with the patient or do they have them go in alone?

 

[KP the nut]

Do the therapists recommend the spouse go with the patient or do they have them go in alone?

I go in alone, my T has never suggested it and I personally wouldn't like it. It is so hard to trust a T and to bare your soul. My H and I don't really have secrets, after 31 years we know one another well. But it would be hard for me to talk the way I do. Others may be different

 

[Lucycat]

Definately alone. I have never discussed the detail of my trauma with my husband and could not do so in front of him. Also I feel incredibly vulnerable during EMDR. I don't want any onlookers, and he was not a part of the trauma so could not share it.

 

[Angus McGee]

Okay. I understand. The only thing I can compare it to is when I go to the doctor for something. The more serious it is, the more I want her there. I just wanted to make sure she didn't feel like she HAD to do it alone. If she WANTED to go solo, that's entirely her choice. I'm good either way.

Thanks, Lucycat & KP.

 

[anthony]

The best thing you could do as a supporter, buy and read "The PTSD Relationship", about the 5th book down I think: [DLMURL]http://www.ptsdforum.org/c/pages/book-recommendations/[/DLMURL]

I assessed this myself and it is highly recommended for every supporter to read, especially spouses.

 

[Angus McGee]

Got it. Love my kindle app. Thanks!

 

[LizBeth1]

Kudos to you for being there for her!

I should say that drastic improvements in 1-3 months may be the experience that some people have had, but it is not something you should use as a measure. I've been in EMDR for a year, and old forgotten trauma is still coming up. I know myself much more, I understand where it all comes from, and I've learned a lot about understanding when I'm in a trigger and how to get out of it. So there have been a lot of improvements. However, things my partner says can still trigger me quite strongly, and I can still emerge from therapy sessions feeling intense things that it takes a few days to process. Everyone is different, and people progress through EMDR at varying rates of speed. I think there are many on this board who've been in EMDR for a long time. The preparation phase is the most critical, during which the patient is learning how to be grounded and stable as triggers come up, and this can take some time. While it's probably the scariest thing I've ever done, EMDR has been incredibly valuable and I've definitely grown and strengthened emotionally from this therapy. Good luck to you - she is lucky to have such a supportive partner!

 

[Angus McGee]

Thanks. I'm very much looking forward to who she is after the treatment is over.

And, my apologies to the OP for hijacking the thread.

 

[Vega]

No apologies needed :) we are ALL looking for support and if you found it here then this site is serving it's intended purpose.

 

[Angus McGee]

She seems reluctant to get her treatment started. I don't blame her one bit, but on the flip side of that, it is very important to all of us in her life that she does actually get started. I pushed the issue tonight, and she told me not to nag her. I can't imagine she is happy with how she is feeling right now, but she is seeming to refuse to get the help she needs.

Is this normal behavior for someone in her shoes?

 

[KP the nut]

:unsure: hmph.Next Monday, the real deal.

(((Vega))) so, how are you, how was it? PM me if you want to talk, it is rough.

My session today was so hard, lots of stuff came out. T always asks how I feel at the end of a session, today he said he could tell how shaken I was - yeah, he had that right.