Awakening - I want to give you a big hug, and tell you that you are not disgusting. Far from it.
Alcohol is a depressant. Therapy is hard. It's not a good idea to drink following therapy, because you need to process your therapy session, not drown it in drink (here ends the lecture :rolleyes:)
Sexual arousal is your body's reaction, it is not a conscious thought reaction. Just like you can't control your heart rate, or blood pressure by thought, you can't control sexual arousal. Your body is not evil, it is doing exactly what it was designed to do. I know it's horrible to be sexually aroused when the sex is unwanted. I don't share this often, but the scum bag who raped me, also made me orgasm. I feel pretty crap about that, but it was my body's reaction - not my conscious reaction. Just as it was my body's reaction to fight to begin with, then freeze. I didn't choose either of those reactions. And I certainly didn't chose to orgasm. Our body's often do things which are out of our control. But we survived, and maybe our body's reactions helped us to survive?
It's okay to feel the things you feel, but you can also work through how you feel, and put some logic to it. You survived :)
Look after yourself, sleep off the booze, then pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and keep working at the parts that you don't like.
You work, you socialise, and you are good mum - please remember all that.
