I cant get out of my head-
My arms being jerked forcefully behind me and pulled unnaturally until I cried out in excruciating pain to please stop, while being drug down many steps sideways , as I feel another person pick my feet and the tightening of force that is already tearing at my arms and wrists and hands.I feel my old tattered flannel pajamas with a missing drawsting slipping from my waist and cold air on my bottom as my body is being removed from my home where I have felt safe for 15 years.
In my pain I see in a flash, the thick green rolling plaster walls that I have painted myself and the stained glass windows that have held up through many storms and high winds while roof shingles were left afterward on the ground. Sideways, I can see my weak body passing the strong oak bannisters that I have preserved to their natural hundred old state that have provided safety for all of us, my small children and elderly relatives alike.
Thoughts and memories spin through my head as my body is forced against its will. Taken from the home where I have raised my children, where I have cuddled my grandbaby, down the staircase where my little girls stood as little witches and goblins awaiting the start of trick or treat, where they as beautiful young ladies have greeted their prom dates. The 25 step staircase that has held Christmas garland and festive bows, where the pitter patter of tiny feet have crossed and tip toed in quietly in hopes of catching a glimpse of Santa. Where puppies have bounced down, and at the bottom, where family and friends have gathered. It was a happy house, a very happy house.
My body like brittle glass and my mind like rugged oak from what happens in life are very imperfect. Yet one place I could feel safe was in my own home-until this time. I am aware that the sole purpose of this is to satisfy the ego of a male cop that wants to make sure that women like me are kept down and taught a lesson. (Do what I tell you, dont ask questions, for sure-never exert your amendment rights)
Now after 2 hour sleep, I awake with pain that resulted from this. My last cortisone injection did not work and surgery awaits. I have made the decision after 2 years to sell my home in the hopes that I can feel safe somewhere else and begin new memories. After all, I do want to get this out of my mind.
