What Cant You Get Out Of Your Mind?

[KP the nut]

Scott, I went to try EMDR and when I was explaining all the reasons for my trauma this "Doctor" she was texting her son back and forth and then said" I'm sorry, go on" then buzzzzz text back then sort of listen to me then buzzzzz, I was like seriously??? What are you texting? Then I had to hand over a check to this dumb a$$.

This is so out of order. I am so cross on your behalf. My T would never do that. We do EMDR and he watches me so closely, he can tell by my body language how I am even when I have my eyes closed and I am running the scene silently in my mind. This is how it should be.

You deserve a T who will work their hardest with you.

 

[KP the nut]

The insidious thought that at the core I am unlikable and undeserving, and that it is only a matter of time before people who get to know me will see for themselves how I really am.

OMG, In my mind I wrote this, I am also that person.

 

[Kim]

My mother's voice saying all the hateful spiteful things that she said to me from the time I was very young until I was 30 and the realization that she may have been right at least about some things.

 

[freakofnurture]

How guilty I feel.

 

[Venator]

The way that man smelled... I can't get his terrible smell out of my head. Not a physical scent, but something more, like an aura, a feeling. I rely heavily on my sense of smell. His smug face and smile haunt me. The repeated feelings of shame I have from knowing I once said yes to him, yet didn't know why I said it. The day I met him plays over and over again in my mind. The long days my friends spent trying to talk sense into me, but it was too late.

 

[Heather]

The injustice of it all.

 

[Heather]

Being called a liar.
My sister becoming a Minister - what a f*cking JOKE!!!!!!! (don't get me started).

 

[Heather]

that she may have been right at least about some things.

I don't even know you but I'll bet a million bucks -- you're wrong. I'd go back and recheck what your both mother said about you and I'd bet you find that it's skewed.

 

[Kim]

Heather, in my heart I know she's wrong but in my head, where the battle still rages, is the fear that she may be right.

 

[Heather]

I know my mother is stuck there in my head too. What a b*tch. I hate yours and mine:mad:.

:p to both of them.

 

[Heather]

I love your dog, KIM!:)

 

[just me here]

The similarities between overly religious people and drug addicts.

Ever try to reason with someone that gets their joy from self denial and total devotion to ultra conservative religious law? It can't be done. They hear you speaking, but to them it is the voice of the devil. Any thought you might be able to introduce to them is quickly washed away by their fear that it will remove them from their drug of choice: feeling holy and worthy of their high calling.

thats just like getting in the way of a drug seeker looking for the next high, they will fight you without tiring, they will destroy themselves and you along with them to get that next fix.

I beleive that in their hearts, these ultra pious people know they cannot live up to the standards they set for themselves, and look for other less holy people to lay that hatred they feel for their own shortcomings onto.

I am watching one go down that road now, she gets her joy from seeking out people to parade her piousness in front of, and also from pointing out the shortcomings of others that she sees as failing to follow her example. She is destroying what family she has, she is tormenting the man that has supported her for most of her life, and she is seaking reasons to eliminate contact with me because I am the strongest argument against her religion she faces.

I am receiving the anger and vengeance of an addicted religious zealot, it is so similar to watching friends go down the drain of drug addiction fighting away every attempt to help them see the way they were throwing away their lives.