I just love this thread, the truth and honesty that's throughout it, it gives me much hope that people can really express what they think and feel while respecting each other and without attacking one another. Hope...Hope...Hope ! I just love it. And, it's not me (my username) I'm talking about. (lol) In fact it's 'Possibility.'
Thank you Anthony for getting this discussion started and for putting all that 'good stuff' into words. I agree completely. Throughout my life I've generally always had the quality of being a very good listener. And, I've had numerous others with PTSD, discuss their feelings, thoughts, and problems with me, for hrs. sometimes on end. I remember the 1st guy to do so was a Vietnam Vet that was a neighbor to us for yrs. in my home town. When I was a kid I use to deliver newspapers to his home and he'd always answer the door. I was shy so not much was ever said, but when I hit 21yrs. old and he had heard I'd put down liquor, and I was getting sober and struggling to stay that way, he suddenly started calling our house and asking to speak to me at all hrs. of the morning. And, he'd talk on and on and about his feelings and feeling suicidal and Vietnam and so much more, and I wanted so badly to help him and always did my best. My attentiveness and listening always seemed to help him so much. And, then the handful of others in between, and then most recently while on a therapuetic retreat there were two others besides me with diagnosed PTSD there, and one other that perhaps has this too. Well, there were two that I and them all felt an indescribable transmission line with one another while witnessing each other's therapuetic work and getting to know one another a little socially in the context of the situation and on retreat. One of these men was a Vietnam Vet. Well the three of us ended up expressing nothing but pure love and respect for one another and for each others intention. It was awesome.
(And, just for the sexually minded, as I struggle with old trust issues and still fear the lack of competency of people to accurately judge just what the hell I'm talking about here, I'm talking about the unconditional love and nonverbal understanding of another PTSD sufferer.)
Whatever. Back on track. So I understand and appreciate every word anthony has said.
Batgirl, I love your honesty. I think and have thought and felt that I've seen this too, but never thought I had the right to have a thought on this subject, let alone express it. So I really appreciate you speaking as open and honest as you have.
And, you know just everything, it's all good, good, good, good, good. I just love insight, truthful discussion, wisdom, experience, goodness. You put it all together it's just great.
I might add, that I stayed away from this post initially, bc it takes me forever to read, then process and then put into words a response. It could even take me days and I've missed posting to many a thread bc of this. Once through the reading and the processing I'd have to stop, as there would be no more time then, and then I'd attempt to post only to get interrupted by countless interruptions here at home, as well as, if no one has noticed I don't really know how to respond briefly yet and when I do attempt to respond to a post it's either all or nothing. It's not easy for me to grab hold of what I'm thinking and put it into words.
Anyhow whatever, all I know is that I just love the honesty in this post and though I've never selected to respond to only those with similar trauma's as me, I still think fearfully, with paranoia and as if I'm guilty of it, but that's ok too, bc I'm not and I need to see just how fearful, paranoid, and insecure I am at times, so I can do something about it.
This forum and so much of the discussions seems to bring to my surface one thing after the other, that is present in me and that I need to learn from and learn to cope better with. It's like this forum is jammed packed full of good lessons for living. It all seems to realign things within me, with new lessons, that I can later put to good use in my daily life. That of course is when I allow myself to have a fairly normal daily life and don't become obsessive or addicted to any one thing. All of which I'm working on and doing well at times with.
I really hope it's ok to be as long winded as I am, bc this is the second time tonight, but I will say from time to time I've noticed I'm not always alone in this long-windedness.
