MJ, lots of people are most certainly listening mate, trust me, I have the stats for the board. MJ, I have more a suspicion that your unwell because your trauma has overwhelmed you, not so much the medications, especially if you have been taking the meds for some time now... the meds should not be the cause. You are highly distressed at the moment, and let me be honest with you, I am not an avid support of prescription medication, however; I am sensible enough to know that people do need it initially to ensure they gain a little control allowing them to heal. Natural alternatives exist, so you could also look up your local naturopath / homeopath and consult with them. Natural alternatives generally don't have all the side effects, nor do they have the withdrawal aspects.
MJ, you can fight through this shit, have no doubt.... but it does take a little time with hard work to get past this initial hardship. You have the mental strength from your training, so hang in there.
Wildfire.... I have no doubt at all you are actually a little more anxious at present because of your move, that is very normal. You are now in a new environment, though whilst refreshing from your old one, you still have unfamiliar surroundings, location, people, etc etc.... all of which cause increased anxiety. Manage the anxiety and take it slow.
Wildfire, I can see that much off your anxiety is actually stemmed from your over-thinking the future and events within your life. This is a characteristic trait within PTSD. You are thinking about how your going to be within your therapists new office, you are causing yourself anxiety because of this, though you haven't been there yet to actually find out for yourself. We can tell ourselves a lot of things, think for others, make assumptions, and at the end of the day, we are the ones who end up sick because off our own ways. What you need to look at here is your thinking styles. I think if you study the [DLMURL="http://www.ptsdforum.org/thread171.html?highlight=unhelpful+thinking+styles"]unhelpful thinking styles[/DLMURL] thread a bit more, you will see reason to what you are doing and the extra distress you are bringing upon yourself each day.
We with PTSD cannot afford to overgeneralise, we cannot predict, we cannot afford to make assumptions, and the list is long as within that thread. We could sit here and say "what ifs" all day, stress ourselves and create ourselves anxiety, but at the end of it all, often we have created ourselves more pain that we ever needed. Training our brains to remember negative vs. positive thinking styles is a little challenging, but not as difficult as some aspects in relation to healing PTSD.
Give it a shot, and see how you go. Another good method is for every negative you write, or think, you have to then write, or think, two positives. This helps train our brains into logical thinking once again, thus helps us to differentiate between realism and fantasy.
