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I'll just think I'm learning. I'm currently learning to be fluent in Korean and Mandarin.
Hi, Ms Spock,
You are right. I was being hard on myself for this state...actually wondering if I had actually loved him.
Hi, Ms Spock,
I saw a psychiatrist a few days ago and he put me on an anti-depressant. I kept telling my T about the despair and hopelessness but she didn't suggest meds. I should have been on these months ago. Maybe I am just imaging this, but I feel better already. I know the meds can't help me feel but I am not feeling agitated about not being able to feel. It makes me not care that I can't care, if that makes sense. I am actually able to function.
Hi, Ms Spock,
How amazing our minds are!
I understand that you feel you need to drink. I have been fighting the same demon; but if I drink when I am sad, I drink too much and then feel worse. Try to do as much self care as possible instead. You are feeling pain, and that is a normal part of the process. Glad the meds are taking the edge off for you. They say there is no magic pill, but I beg to differ! Well, to a point...I haven't had a drink in over 8 years and I have really REALLY been thinking of starting again through all of this. I have also thought about just checking out. After all, I let Pallino go when there was no quality left for him. I just don't think I can ever love like that again. It was such a special bond. I do not have kids. He was my child.
Just because I do not tick every single box on the PTSD criteria list does not mean I am not suffering from it.