The fourteen day challenge

[The Albatross]

Oh Lord Melody... I can relate to that. I also am looking more and more like my mother. Until you mentioned it I wouldn't have connected my shaming messaging about gaining some weight this month to looking like her and calling myself names like my dad called her (she is a binge eater, and has been grossly obese for 50 of her 70 years).

I guess I need to look at it differently as well.

 

[melody]

Until you mentioned it I wouldn't have connected my shaming messaging about gaining some weight this month to looking like her and calling myself names like my dad called her (she is a binge eater, and has been grossly obese for 50 of her 70 years).

It definitely puts a different outlook on it, doesn't it Albatross. I think I may be able to get a better handle on it now that I know why I'm doing a lot of it.

Maybe if I just say to myself - when I'm about to say something nasty to myself - "You're not her." And I'm not - the only thing we have in common is the way we look. I would never repeat the things she has said to me, to anyone else. Well... Except to myself. So maybe I am kind of like her... See, now I'm going in circles...:(

<Full quote edited by KP the nut>

 

[intothelight]

Day one for me again too (after yesterday's tantrum :oops:). But today has been a really good day one! I know it seems odd, but really it isn't about the number of days...its how much we learn. So if everyday is a day one for the rest of my life, then that is OK. But it is each day that I learn something and it is a day of growth.:).

 

[Deleted member 6617]

Oh Boy...I am not doin so good at this. I am AWARE more though. Sigh....Day one again for the umpteenth time.

 

[KP the nut]

Tomorrow - Day 1, again. I can do this.

 

[The Albatross]

Day 1 Check... Need a plan for not sabotaging my thinking before my morning coffee kicks in.

 

[intothelight]

Day one for me again. Trying so hard to keep upbeat and positive, just keep getting knocked down by things I have no control over and then I knock myself down further :(

 

[KP the nut]

Damn, one really negative thought about myself whilst in the shower.

Day one tomorrow again. Although trying to stay positive whilst being filmed at work will be a challenge.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

Starting over again for me. But at least I now notice when I am being negative withmyself. I have to start over. I need to forgive myself for not taking better care of me when I desperately needed someone to be there for me

. I need to forgive myself for doing the best I could with the information I had at the time. I just need to forgive myself for beating up on myself all of those times I was so hard on myself. I can't believe how bitter and negative I have become.

I had granddaughter for 4 days of bliss. She is the most positive person I have ever met in my entire life. She has'nt been wounded yet by life and people. I worry about her when she is. But mabe I won't have to feel sorry for her. She may bounce back very good.

She is so positive. I always wondered what I would be like if I had it better as a child, and she shows me this is possible. It is impossible to be negative withher around. She teaches me so very much. I am grateful to know herand be a part of her life. Oh well, back to day 1 for me. Trudge, trudge, trudge.;)

 

[intothelight]

I am starting fresh again. It is funny, but I lost sight of focusing on this the past few days, and probably had some of the worst PTSD days that I have experienced in a long, long time. It is funny, but I had taken this exercise kind of for granted since I have been using it for the past few months.

Funny thing is, when I am focused on watching my thinking, I do so much better overall. So day one, and I know it will be a much better day overall even if I don't make it all the way through. It is more how far I make it, identify the pattern, work to change it, and proceed on.

 

[KP the nut]

Friday, Saturday and today (Sunday), days 1,2 and 3. Wow, I've done 3 days. I stopped thinking of myself and put my supporter (darling H) first instead.

The wekend has been wonderful. Now I just need to keep that feeling.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

Day 2. No negative thoughts today. Yeah!:) Mabe there is something to this practicing. It is good to not be alone while practicing.