Supporter Intro

[raulsgirl]

Hi! I'm Cindy, engaged to a great guy with issues, as we all have. He's not diagnosed, but I'm sure he's got ptsd, he did 2 tours in vietnam as a marine.

I've been doing alot of research on the subject, since he told me last week out of the blue, "I won't tell you what I've been thru so don't ask". I read a short book on ptsd, and found many people have it because of what ever traumatic experience they've been thru and how they cope or not cope with it.

I am going thru it now, (walking on eggshells with him, for one thing) and recently got out of a 3 year abusive relationship which I'm trying not to let it affect my current one. He's very empathetic of my past, as he's been thru a similar experience.

I hope to make some lasting friendships here, since I feel so isolated where I live, only been here 8 months and have not made any close friends.

 

[KP the nut]

Hi Cindy and welcome to the forum.

Well done on researching. My advice would be to check out the supporters section, especially the threas with sticky pins. I'm sure you will be able to relate to what others have/are going through. One thing you will realise, is that you are not alone.

How is he feeling, is he open to the idea of help? It may help him as well if he joins and checks out the Combat Forum.

I look forward to knowing you better.

Wishing you peace
KP.

 

[raulsgirl]

Thanks for the welcome. I've been so isolated here. I'm not used to hearing much concern for myself. I will check out supporters, it's still a little confusing navigating around this site! thx cindy

 

[BigBear]

Cindy,

Do you have PTSD? The reason I asked is that you've been labeled as a sufferer, but you didn't mention anything that lead me that way.

Anyway if there is anything that I can do (I'm sure I speak for a lot of "WE" as well), just ask.

Glad that you are here!

Bear

 

[shikira]

Hi Cindy,

I am also new to the forum.

My partner struggles to understand me because I am the sufferer and he is the one trying to play the part of the therapist - not consciously or intentionally, yet often it comes across as this and I am terrified that he will stop seeing me or treating me as an equal partner.

For example, my partner wants answers and to try and understand why I am suffering with P.T.S.D and emotional Intensity disorder, yet no amount of explanations on my part can offer him the answers he wants. The support you give your partner is truly fantastic and he likely feels reassured that you are on his side and want to help him in any which way you can. He might be feeling as if he does not want to place further pressures on you to understand and give him the support he needs or wants from others?

It might feel to you as if he could be pushing you away, yet maybe he is trying to protect you from the hurt he is feeling about his past?. Sometimes in relationships, the boundaries can get very blurred and those who suffer with P.T.S.D and any additional emotional and/or mental health conditions, possibly cannot tolerate their other halves behaving as therapists (even though) they may not mean to or do it unconsciously.

Being there for him, listening to him and helping him find the solutions in his own way, will do more good for him in the short and long-term (despite) you feeling as if you are perhaps helpless to do more. It might feel very tempting to push him to get help or to give you answers to questions, yet you will be amazed at just how helpful and positive this will be the more that you allow him the space he needs to motivate himself to get help if he needs it.

You are amazing, you do not need to do more than what is expected of you, so give him the gentle and non-judgmental support you are giving and he will appreciate that immensely.

 

[BigBear]

...My partner struggles to understand me because I am the sufferer and he is the one trying to play the part of the therapist - not consciously or intentionally, yet often it comes across as this and I am terrified that he will stop seeing me or treating me as an equal partner.

For example, my partner wants answers and to try and understand why I am suffering with P.T.S.D and emotional Intensity disorder, yet no amount of explanations on my part can offer him the answers he wants...

Shikira,

If you can stand to have your partner see your posts (some can, some can't), you ought to get him or her to join the forum too. There is also a private area for sufferers (I think) that you pay to be in. Your supporter couldn't see that...

Bear