Christian Religion Causes Me Anxiety And Fear.

[fairywings]

PerfectlyFlawed

They also are obsessed with gender roles, and how men and women are so different and cannot live without eachother which leads to unhealthy relationships and marriages.

I am so sorry you went through this.

 

[Ice_Fire]

I am so sorry for your experience - the traumatic of course, but also with your church. I am a Catholic too. Did you have the chance to meet "different" people and to be loved and helped by them?

Sadly, no I didn't get that chance. I was isolated by my mother, she stopped me going back to church because (looking back) she feared I would tell someone about the abuse. But mum told me that I couldn't go to church, I was evil...the roof would cave in on me type of thing. Then at school it was C of E, but I never really started going again.

Be blessed and know you are loved very deeply and unconditionally!

Thank you for this. I must admit I've lost my faith. Always yearned for it and missed it, but refused to believe for fear of being rejected, safer to pretend I'm not bothered.
:( Anyway thank you for your words of kindness.

 

[Elizabeth-Ann]

I understand you... :cry:

 

[PerfectlyFlawed]

All of these are good posts. Ever since PTSD I cannot grip religion. Perhaps I am confused and is mixed into spiritual abuse...

Does PTSD change people's views on religion? Or does religion change people's views about trauma? I know trauma can turn your world upside down--Loosing faith; thinking you have a short life to live.

 

[fairywings]

Does PTSD change people's views on religion?

For me yes. I was a victim of ritual abuse. We were taught our church was the only one going to heaven. And everyone was bad. I was also taught I had to be a virgin when I married. I was a very very good girl. But was raped by a church member many years ago and it changed me forever, and it was swept under the rug. I finally reached a point where I love nature and God and animals but avoid churches.

I am fearful of people in general have P.T.S.D. and a lot of issues. My faith was weak for a long time now it is strong again. I can't let people influence me on my faith in God. People are imperfect. It is very hard to figure out though after bad experiences like that.

I just want to be able to be assertive again and be strong.

 

[Innordinate]

The good, and bad thing, about religion is that you can use it for whatever purpose you need it for. So, it depends on the person and how it is introduced to them, how they are taught religion. The answer is both.

I've seen on here people who's PTSD has changed their views on religion - spiritual abuse. And I've seen people on here who talk about 'finding Jesus/God and how much that has helped them and their lives.

 

[PerfectlyFlawed]

I think it is fair to love nature and God. I am beginning to believe that it is okay to believe and worship God...but avoid churches. I think the people in the church bring us anxiety.

 

[Innordinate]

I believe in God, but I am not a religious person. I do not believe in holy books or churches. And I do not believe in common worship, sermons.

I believe in churches for community support and networking socializing, though I would never go I would let my kids if they wanted to.

 

[fairywings]

The good, and bad thing, about religion is that you can use it for whatever purpose you need it for. So, it depends on the person and how it is introduced to them, how they are taught religion. The answer is both.

I agree.

 

[PerfectlyFlawed]

perhaps I told the wrong people, maybe I should just keep it to myself...The Church is not the best place for sexual assault victims.

 

[Innordinate]

Sounds like not THAT church anyways.

I think, when telling anyone about any trauma, you have to kind of feel it out first, to see how responsive people are towards it.

Same with a church. Common misconception, maybe, that you can go to any church goer and they will sympathize and know exactly what to say and how to handle these types of things. There are probably churches and people within churches that would understand and do know what to say. But they aren't "specially talented" people just because they go to church. No offense, I haven't met anyone on here who's like this but, I think a lot of people go to church because they think it absolves them of their sins. And some of them do some really horrid shit but think it's okay because the Church has forgiven them.

I think a relationship with God is a lot more personal than any church can provide.

 

[The Albatross]

Elizabeth-Ann,
(so I can have it in front of me) I said, "One person (by your post, a friend) did not give you the response you expected. Now you are hurting and sensitive. Okay I get it. But I hope that you can see that your reaction is a bit over the top.

(I'm expecting to get pounded on this, and it is my sincere hope that there is something that can be helpful for you... but hey I got big shoulders and I'm a Christian sister, so it's out there/here now.)"

Why do you think people who have bad experience with a pastor, minister or other religious person, easily blame the whole community, doctrine... If a teacher does wrong noon blames the whole guild or refuses spelling-rules for it. I suffer a lot from this, being a victim myself but very convinced member of the community.

I tend to shy away from generalizations and don't necessarily think that "people who have had a bad experience... blame the whole community, doctrine" (or in my words "institution"). Not all do. I couldn't even begin to guess how many PTSD's might. I just know that I did, and by the title of the thread and reading the experince of the initial poster... it my opinion that she may have.

Why though? Hmm. Speaking for myself, I found that I had self protecting tendencies, feelings of powerlessness and fear, avoidance and hypervigilance (to name a few). Part of my story was step 4 work with sponsors in AA. During self examination I found a lot of intolerance and distrust of "institutions" as well as people who I felt had harmed or wronged me. I took a hard look at how my intolerance and distrust of groups and institutions kept me in a state of isolation, anxiety, resentment, discontent... (etc.). There was a lot more to the self examination (out of balance instincts and such, wrongs I did to people, wrongs that people did to me but it doesn't matter for the question.

If I wanted to recover I needed to take a hard look at my perception and run the statements through my head against what my personal beliefs were. For example:

"I hate cops because all cops are corrupt." - Are all cops corrupt? Really?

"I distrust clergy because one took advantage of my friend and tried to manipulate her into sex." - Are all clergy untrustworthy? Really?

"I hate the military because they didn't protect me from sexual predators on multiple occasions." - Are all military servicemen and women incapable of protection their troops? Really?

and so on.

Personally I found I was avoiding uncomfortable feelings and that my thinking (though it protected me in some ways) came at a price. A pretty high price. It isolated me from others, kept me resentful, fearful, anxiety ridden, and depressed. Distorted thinking and generalizations about groups of people drove my agoraphobic tendency, my low frustration tolerance, my alcoholism, and my fear and rage.

Distorted thinking drove my hypervigilance. When I focused on "self protecting myself from hurt, emotional pain, or threats" a whole laundry list of things caught my attention. Brains aim to please. They give us what it thinks we "want more of". The longer a person is in the cycle, the more distorted thinking gets. I was this person myself.

I came to my own conclusion that it was unreasonable, irrational, and wrong of me to clump large groups of people into the realm of "unsafe, corrupt, abusive, unfair, etc." The only way I was going to be able to deal with the resentment and bring myself back into balance was to be willing to break the cycle and let (and try to consistently allow) each new experience to stand alone without broadening my distrust, fear or anxiety to the "whole group". It took time, it took practice, and it is now part of my normal behavior.

I also came to the conclusion that it wasn't the "institutions problem" the problem was my own perception and that I was projecting a lot of guilt/shame/blame onto a group and issuing carte blanch irrational and often intolerant view of a "nebulous and ambiguious" thing to torture mysef with and keep me captive in my distorted thinking and isolating behaviors to avoid the deeper difficulty: guilt/blame and shame.

But back to the main point. I am not served well to believe as the title says on this thread, "Christian religion causes me anxiety and fear." I am best served going forward examining the thought/belief and identifying flawed perceptions... then I can restate my problem. If it was me, an example might be: "My fear and anxiety affects my perception of the Christian Religion" or "The Christian Religion is generating fear and anxiety".

???

Verbose, and not quite sure I got it out properly... my mind is jumping around today. Hope it is helpful though Elizabeth-Ann??? :unsure: