I Have Difficulty Thinking-is This Normal?

[Moses]

I have PTSD and severe depression and am having CBT, although my therapist has said that my PTSD is too complex for her to deal with, and she has offered me the option of being referred to The South Maudsley Hospital in London when our sessions end.

As my PTSD is complex, my therapy sessions are no longer 'dealing' with my traumas, instead, my therapist is helping me with my depression.

Our work is now covering depressive thoughts and feelings. I have having great difficulty here. The problems lie in the fact that I just do not seem to be able to think. When asked when something has happened "what did you think about that", I just have no idea. Last week, during the session, I was trying hard to find thoughts that I could give to her and I actually dissociated and she had to help me 'come back'.

I do not understand how she can separate my depression from my PTSD.... At the moment, I am trying to find my thoughts to try to explain this, and I can feel my anxiety levels rising. As soon as I feel this, I just seem to 'shut down'. Does this make sense to anyone?

 

[Ice_Fire]

Hi,

Yes I understand what you mean, simply not being able to think about what we think or feel. It's very odd and I find that my T has to bring me back too sometimes.

I'm sorry I have no suggestions to make this better, but you're not on your own.

 

[Moses]

Sorry....I posted, and then realised I had not explained myself properly. It is not I cannot find the words for my thoughts,......I just do not seem to have thoughts. I hope some people can relate to this?

 

[Moses]

Is it possible to separate depression from PTSD? Because my therapist is not 'equipped' to deal with my complex PTSD, we do not talk about any of my flashbacks or traumas. I am finding it so hard to do the depression 'stuff' especially the home work as I find that my depression is so closely linked to flashbacks, nightmares etc. I know that CBT is all to do with changing how you think, but when you don't think, it is very very hard. I am finding it making me even more depressed. Does anyone have any experience of therapy at The South Maudsley Hospital in London? I just cannot bear the thought of them, maybe, not being able to help either. I know that I just cannot go on living this 'half-life" much longer.

 

[stormyweather]

I really think I understand how you feel. Major Depression is my primary diagnosis, so I get treated for that, but it's so tied into the PTSD that I feel like I'm caught in a loop.

I also have trouble with thinking and communicating. It's like my thoughts are just flying around like confetti in my brain, and I can't pin one down very easily, much less communicate it effectively. This is extra hard for me because before my breakdown I was wonderful at communication. Now I have trouble just answering emails.

I think it's cool your therapist recognized that she couldn't handle your PTSD, and referred you to a place that can. Here in the crappy health care of the US, that's rarely an option.

 

[nimkekaa]

I too have a hard time with thoughts though maybe in a little different way. I find that I can't remember what I am doing from one minute to the next. I am doing something and then just forget what I was doing.

I have also experienced the feeling that nobody will be able to help me. I have shocked therapists with what I have gone through and have had therapists say that they can not help me. But I have found a few therapists that have helped me very much and I have also realized being on this forum that I am not alone in the extreme experiences that I have been through.

I hope you find some comfort on this forum like I have.

 

[youbetsya]

I do not understand how she can separate my depression from my PTSD.... At the moment, i am trying to find my thoughts to try to explain this, and i can feel my anxiety levels rising. As soon as i feel this, i just seem to 'shut down'. Does this make sense to anyone?

Wow, I totally get it- sounds so much like me-you are brave. You sound like you really have some understanding and that is awesome- only the very best to you, my friend.

I hope you find some comfort on this forum like I have.

I have only been here a few hours and am already comforted. I too have shocked therapists; I have been told I am a survivor and it is amazing I am still alive. Then they tell me how strong I am.But I certainly don't feel strong- more like a crumbling building! But they say it's a good thing that I am still here. I await the reason for that! Best to you-

 

[Omnia vincit amor]

Hi Moses, nimkekaa
in my case I was diagnosed with PTSD but depression the hospital did not mention in their final report, to the big surprise of my ambulant therapist.

I can very well understand you, lately I was often just sitting there, waiting what my therapist would say, because I did not have any reasonable ideas in my head, sort of empty. In a way sometimes it is better, than being able to think.

Some say that depression is part of PTSD others handle it as a separate dg, however it is clear that they are connected. I can not imagine that one can treat them separately.

One T told me that they have no therapy for me. I was getting worse and worse in the hospital and when I asked for therapy my T said: you can not expect to be better in the near future, do you want stay here for ages? I did not want.

I was also told by my current T that it is already a great achievement that I survived until now.... I wonder

 

[SilentWords]

Hi Moses,

Totally relate to your post. I am so detached feeling nothing makes the same for answering questions. My T will ask: So how are you today? I have to process the Q over & over...bizarre.

Sometimes there is no answer so a shrug is mustered up. And, like you my anxiety will start and then instant shut down mode so, Yes it makes total sense. My T said the body can only process so much at a time then it needs rest. My guess to it all is the stage your
In if there even is one.

Thanks for sharing,
M-

 

[Lucycat]

......I just do not seem to have thoughts. I hope some people can relate to this?

Absolutely!! That is exactly how I have felt at times. When I had an appointment with a psychiatrist I recall at one point he asked what I was thinking. I wanted to shout at him but calmly replied 'thinking?, thinking? I just cannot think!' My mind was completely blank.

My T had accompanied me to that appointment and he later explained that the stress of the situation meant that the 'thinking part' of my brain was simply not accessible to me at that time. No amount of trying would have changed it. I just had to get out, reduce the anxiety levels and take future therapy at a much more gentle pace.

I don't think you will get much further with the depression until you start the real Trauma Therapy. But that doesn't mean you should stop seeing your current T. I am sure she is helping you until you get your appointment at the Maudsley. Please don't give up hope. The Maudsley is one of the top UK hospitals for trauma therapy and they have loads of experience.

Please let us know how you get on when you finally get to see them. I think they will have the confidence and competence to get through your inability to think by doing short bursts of therapy - small enough for you to cope with before numbing out. I would expect it to be a very slow process - but incredibly rewarding.

Good luck!
Lucy x

 

[Meadowsweet]

I'm in a similar situation with my therapist at the moment. More so to do with my therapists concerns over dissociation.

The way she has explained it to me is that in my area of the UK, there is a two tier system of mh care. At tier 1, she usually deals with single incident trauma, anxiety and depression. She delivers the sessions and she discusses cases weekly with a supervisor.

Tier 2 mh care is attached to the hospital and it deals with more complex mh conditions. The therapists are more experienced or trained to a higher level. The sessions are more open ended to take account of more individual needs and you are assigned a crisis team.

I don't think I'm too unstable, I think it is more to do with my therapist taking pracautions. But she has said we will focus on CBT (without digging into trauma's) until she has spoken to her supervisor.

I think it's best that therapists are honest and putting our health first. And I understand that it can make you feel like you're un-helpable.

But I think it's more that more appropriate care is being offered.

 

[Philippa]

Gosh...HELL YEAH.

I've been thinking it's me..that I've turned dumb or convinced myself that I am dumb after playing dumb for years.:roflmao: